You would not believe how busy I've been this week. I don't even believe it. Honestly- if this is how all of my weeks in Chattanooga had gone, I'd be in absolute tears to leave this place!
I don't even know what the last thing I told you was. I do know, that after I did blog last, I was conscious of my need to blog again. I make a willful effort to remember funny/annoying things that mean something or don't mean something and then I think of a great way to tell them back to you so you totally get it. And, I've been doing that all week. The thing is... it's been all week. I have no idea where I started or what was funny to me when. Oh, and there is this glass of wine in my hand that just makes it easy for me to not care if you are even following what I'm saying. But, I guess I'll do my best... if you even care to continue.
So, by now you all know how much I love Chattanooga and you all know how highly I speak of Chattanooga and pretty much you're saving all your money to move here - right? Exactly. So on Sunday me and a fellow coworker set out to show Chattanooga in all its glory to a few Yankees we work with. We pulled out all the stops. A road tour downtown to see the 5 bars and the Krystal building, a drive by a famous restaurant with too long of a line out the door filled with Southern Baptists, awesome barbecue that when you are finished you feed your leftovers to the goats, a stroll through an antique mall full of locals including witnessing a domestic dispute outside the Cracker Barrel, and then, of course, a good ole round (game?) of bowling. Miraculous. This was all capped off with a fabulous dinner at a Thai restaurant in a strip mall. I don't think you need any more details to know that it was fabulous... oh, except that my bowling name was "Cinderella" and I got my best score ever coming in at a fabulous 92.
Monday was work. Regular.
Tuesday was my dinner party. You know - I'm just so domestic and fabulous sometimes I can't even stand it. Since I'm leaving I made a dinner for my friends here in Chattanooga (yes, they are real!). I made a homemade alfredo sauce and a homemade vodka sauce. And, if I'm being totally honest, for winging my vodka sauce - I did a pretty great job. The special ingredient is hot sauce if you're wondering and gives it a great kick. Anyway, I had some bottles of wine and everyone was enjoying a beverage or two (and I might have enjoyed three...) and it was just a great night. My friend J who just got out of the Airforce was supposed to come but apparently there was some type of GPS issue that gave him an ETA of 2AM. I texted that the door would be open and that I was going to close my eyes. Well, you're probably thinking - that is not very safe. But you forget, it's Chattanooga and it is perfectly safe! (And, I won't ever do it again. Sorry, Ok?) Anyway - at 2AM I wake up out of my element and hearing people in my apartment and for a second I think "Goddamnit - I should have bought a gun" and then I remembered it was just my friend. So I talked for a few minutes and then went back to bed. The next morning I was again so domestic and fabulous and managed to serve cereal and eggs for breakfast and burn their bagels (not once, but twice).
Wednesday was traveling to Minnesota for interviewing on Thursday. Remember when I almost lived there? Holy crap is it cold. And bless their hearts for sending me to Texas. Interviewing was surprisingly enjoyable with a few good candidates. I mean, a few duds were in there too- but that's just the way it happens I guess. One person said "Um, you know..." 234392743 times and I couldn't help but mentally remove myself so I didn't laugh in her face at the twilight zone that is the midwest. But, in general, they are very friendly, smiley people who made me a little friendlier and smiley-er. The flight back though, that was me at the peak of all miserable-ness. As soon as I got in the airport I had an awful headache across my entire forehead. I just stood and swore under my breath (think: "oh for godsake, this damn day can't end soon enough, uh"). I was a total B. Imagine the even bigger total B I was when I found out I was in a middle seat.
In general, the middle seat is pretty much as bad as it gets. The only way it gets worse is if you are 5"12. Oh - and if you are sitting next to a man who happens to be brown and starts making the sign of the cross over and over again. I honestly don't know if Allah gets the sign of the cross, and I think the answer is he doesn't, but it still was a very weird religious behavior and the thought did cross my mind "this is it". And I know you may be all up in arms reading this thinking "that's racial profiling" blah blah - but it was a weird religious behavior AND our threat level is at ORANGE. Whatever that means. Anyway - this is the government's fault that I even thought it at all. I made it in one, uncomfortable piece to Atlanta, just late enough that I had to run to the gate like a wackadoo.
They attendant gets on the speaker and says "Here at gate D36 we are performing a MIRACLE!" WHAT? A MIRACLE? Thank God I got there just in time! "We are boarding THREE flights - starting - NOW!" Gainsville, Chattanooga, Somewhere else I don't remember, all at once. I was so terrified I would get on the wrong plane. But, I'll give it to them - it really was a miracle they got us all through the door at the same time. It was a maze once you got outside, but I made it the Chattanooga flight and everyone looked like they were in the right place (read: old). I got an aisle seat this time and it did not help my headache. I was so uncomfortable and shifting and moving and huffing and puffing. The only thing that made my life slightly bearable was to stretch my legs out in the aisle up to the seat in front of me. Well - lady next to me just couldn't get over this. Yes - I could feel her eyes on me going "What?! HOW DO THEY GO UP THAT FAR?" God. B. Mind your business lady or I'll wish my terrible headache on you. I did glare at her once, but she didn't get the picture and just kept looking at me taking up so much aisle space. God. Get overrrr it.
Chattanooga was cold when we landed. I mean, not as cold as Minneapolis - but definitely cold. When I got home, against my better judgement, I decided to check my work email... just 75 emails from being out a day and a half. GOD.
Friday was just regular again. Busy work day. Lunch with a mentor/friend (fabulous soup and sandwich). More busy work day. I was so happy to log out this afternoon only to remember my movers come tomorrow. They pack everything for me, but I do have to organize my 18 months of shit. This is no easy task. Which is why I decided to order Domino's pizza and finish up some of the left over wine in my fridge.
That's what my week was. And, I am expecting the same level of excitement my last week here in Chattanooga. THAT'S RIGHT - LAST WEEK!! Can you believe it? I really am in total shock. I mean - I always knew I was moving... and here I am 18 months and one week later... and it's here. I'm in disbelief. I think it will really sink in tomorrow after the movers take everything away and it's just me, my air mattress, my suitcase and left over Domino's pizza.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a box to pack and a glass of wine to finish.
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