Meet Follower 27: GHyde

Welcome to the longest addition of Meet My Followers. GHyde whose last name will be removed for legal reasons, was recently mugged. I couldn't wait to break the story to all followers, but I'm sure by now you've already seen a slinged GHyde and know his version of the story.(Which, God bless you because he is a chattier than even YOURS TRULY!).

GHyde really tried to milk his 15 minutes of fame on ABCw by extending the MMF interview to 400+ lines of chat with a break in the middle for Pinkberry with current roommate Gio (HEY GIO!) (And, actually, Gio made Greg hold the umbrella and pump his own ice cream while at Pinkberry - see photo!) and then finishing the gchat with gvideo. Because of this, GHyde's MMF is the most edited of MMF's. I do think I have retained the key aspect of the story.

Without further ado: Followes, Meet GHyde.

me: so GHYDE
you were MUGGED
GHyde: this is true
a week and one day ago today
me: eight days
GHyde: some would say
me: and you were in a coffee shop??
GHyde: No
me: oh rumor mill!
GHyde: I was in front of the bean in millenium park in chicago
bean
coffee
shop... easily confusable
me: ahh
got it
and where you taking a picture
of yourself?
in the bean?
GHyde: I had already done that and i was drinking an intelligista(only served in chicago and LA) iced coffeeand eating a mcmuff at a table in front of the bean
me: alone?
GHyde: yes
me: where was your phone
GHyde: on the table next to me. I had just downloaded edge of glory(BIG LETDOWN) and was mid listen
i havent listened to the song since
me: ok
so you are mid listen
are you just eating
are you reading
are you people watching
CAN YOU PLEASE BE MORE SPECIFIC FOR THE READERS?
GHyde: okay... i was sitting there, legitimately soaking up my life. I was in a good spot. A week away fromstarting my new job in NYC. It was a beautitful day. you shou;dve seen the tulips.
me: yellow?
red?
hybrid?
GHyde: some would say i was cupcaking. both colors
i had an hour and a half to kill before i caught a flight to myrtle beach to grab dinner with my dad
so i was just killin time in the park
me: ok
so please describe the incident
GHyde: ok
so man comes up and asks me to take out my headphones because he had a question for me
me: lolllllll
GHyde: and i take them out of me ears
me: how did you hear him
if your headphones were in
GHyde: the hand to ear/i need to talk to you motion
the international sign for "i dont care what you're listening to/what i have to say is more important"
me: yes
which it is rarely never the latter
GHyde: so i feel a tub on my headphone cord
i look back and this other man man is holding me iphone
he takes off
me: how did he get your iphone
were they waering hats
GHyde: it was on the table, next to my breakfast
one had a hat
ok
so he picked it up off the table.
me: and what did you say
GHyde: an took off
me: you just looked at him?
GHyde: i didnt have time to say anything before he took off
me: the universal sign for "sure go head"
this is a very anticlimactic robbery
no guns?
someone told me your shoulder was injured
GHyde: its broken
it gets better megan
so the man who asked me to take out my headphones punches me in the face
me: what!
GHyde: more like the cheek actually
me: does he say anything
GHyde: but its a weak punch
so they all take off running
at this point
me: "they all" = 2
GHyde: 2 other accomplices have joined
me: oh
wow
GHyde: so now a total of 4
me: wait
after he punched you
did he say anything
GHyde: yes
me: like
TAKE THAT BITCH
GHyde: no no
me: or something
GHyde: HAHHA NO MEGAN
me: well GHyde
i'm trying to be there in my mind
GHyde: so then i grab my carryon and start to chase them
BIG mistake
me: did you leave your breakfast behind?
GHyde: yes
and im still mad about it
me: are you yelling anything at them
while you are chasing them
like
GET BACK HERE NOW
OR ELSE
I WILL CALL THE POLICE
AND YOUR MOTHER!!!
GHyde: not at yelling yet
they are shell gaming my phone in front of me(all 4 of them)
me: lollllllllll
this is like the playground
GHyde: harmless mario party reference
but
me: i wish you had a gun
just pull it out
GHyde: ME TOO
me: and show it to them
lolllllllllll
ok
BUT???
GHyde: ok
so they hit michigan ave and split up
me: where is the phone?
it's like picking the right cup
from the magician
what did you do!
how many minutes have passed already?
GHyde: like seconds
seemed like minutes
me: oh i pictured them monkey-in-the-middling you for at least 6 minutes
i'm glad you are setting up a timeline for me
GHyde: HAHAHA
so they all split up
and i had to follow one of the thugs
me: so who do you pick
GHyde: scratch that
ran my ass off
me: yea follow makes it seem like you are sluething
which yo uare not
GHyde: the slower/chubbier one clearly
me: lolllllll
thank god you've been running in bucks county
GHyde: so im chasing him through chicagos inner loop
and im gaining on him
and i see his bookbag he has on coming unzipped
me: lolllll
GHyde: a piece of paper falls out of his backpack
i see this and grab it
its homework
name written clearly across the top
me: lollllllllll
WAIT
how OLD are these thugs???
GHyde: ill say 20ish
me: so college homework
GHyde: but somewhere during this chase
me: not 10th grade times tables
GHyde: i mean... you can be 20 and in highschool... i wouldnt be surprised if he was
me: do you do times tables in 10th grade?
i guess if you are 20 you do
ok
so anyway
grab the paper
continue runnng
GHyde: somewhere in there i fell/got kind of hit by a cab
because we were running through the street with post rush hour traffic
me: wait
fell slash got hit by a cab
those are pretty different
GHyde: i mean
i dont know which came first
me: the fall
in my mental picture
he tripped on the curb
and his hand was run over by a cab
GHyde: hahah no
after this all happens
which the occurance is still kind of hazy
he slows
and the criminal sits down at the bus stop
me: lolllllll
does he know you are still there???
GHyde: yes
me: ok
so you have worn.him.out
GHyde: yes
and im yelling for someone to call 911 at this point
me: lol
ok so
so i'm picturing
an obese 20 year old with a book bag
sitting in the bus stop
and you screaming at the top of your lungs
HELP
911!
HELP
and people thinking
what the H kid
he's just catching the bus
GHyde: and nobody is helping me out
me: lollll
that would nto happen in texas
so much better manners here
GHyde: riiigghhttt
so
the kid says he doesnt have it
and the bus pulls up
he gets on
me: stop
are you kidding me/is your shoulder broken yet?
GHyde: apparently
me: when did that happen!
there seems to be no injury to the shoulder
except for picking up paper
GHyde: no
either when i fell
or the cab
me: you were hit by a cab/???
i thought the thug was hit by a cab???
WHAT
GHyde: megan
i was hit by a cab
me: i thought the thug was hit by a cab!!!!!!!!!!!
lollllll
GHyde: no
me: oh my god GHyde!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is this the curse of my followers????
to be hit by cars!!???
don't answer
i still need 100
ok
so wow
the thug gets on the bus
and then what?
GHyde: i follow him... because clearly i want to get shot/stabbed at this point
me: on to the bus?
GHyde: yes
and i tell the bus driver
"this kid just mugged me, shut and lock the doors until he turns out his pockets"
me: is this normal procedure?
when a mugger enters a bus?
or is this something you thought of?
GHyde: i thought of it
me: does the bus driver obey
GHyde: and the bus driver agreed
me: oh wow
ok and???
GHyde: the people on the bus HATE me
me: hahahahahaha
oh my gosh i bet
esp if it is rush hour
GHyde: and i look like a terrorist marching up and down the aisle of the bus
me: we can't say terrorist on the blog
GHyde: well
nobody was a terrorist, i just looked like one at the time
not a turban terrorist
a russian die hard terrorist
me: mob
GHyde: the kid finally turns out his pockets and says his friend has my phone and he passed it off to him
empty shell
8:17 PM me: lolllllllllllllllll
GHyde: bummer
me: so what do yo udo?
GHyde: i call him by the name on his homework
me: does he respond
GHyde: dumbfounded
me: ahahahahaha
GHyde: so i get off the bus
im bleeding
me: sad?
GHyde: finally a man calls 911
me: lolllllll
how much time has elapsed
GHyde: and im sitting in the middle of the sidewalk
me: are you giong to miss your flight?
GHyde: no
i file a police report
and my shoulder doesnt really hurt at this point
me: adrenaline
GHyde: so i file the report.
make my flight
me: miracle
GHyde: after numerous tries to get a hold of a family member, i have to get on my plane
still nobody knows i had been mugged
get on the plane
me: i hope you left the blood on your face
which is where i picture it being
GHyde: im surrounded north/south/east/west by crying babies
me: oh no
plane from HELL
GHyde: i land in myrtle
call my dad from a payphone
me: lollllll
did you have enough coins?
or did you call collect?
GHyde: he picks up saying "ill be at the airport in 15minutes, where do you want to eat?"
some payphones take credit cards now
little known fact
me: oh wow
how the times have change!
so where did you want to eat?
GHyde: i tell my dad i need to go to the ER
me: hospital food!!???
do you have benefits?
if not, that is going to cost a lot
GHyde: hahah yes
me: ok good
GHyde: and the xray informs us
i have a broken shoulder

And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of Greg's sling.

Originally I would have said that I think he is faking and just wearing the sling for attention. (A flare for the dramatic seems to be a common thread between all of my followers.) But now that I have the ankle injury (YES! STILL!) I think you should all buy poor Greggy a drink so he can be nursed back to health.

Also, it is my recommendation not to start a conversation with Greg re: mugging unless you have at least an hour.

Dance Machine

I am back from a wedding in Atlanta and slightly exhausted... but it was well worth it!

Friends Jenn and Daniel from Chattanooga were married on Saturday and I was SO happy to be invited and celebrate in their special day! Since I was making the venture back to the southeast,I definitely wanted to have the times and friends from work and Chattanooga (Nita, Ajay, Jimy and Jessica) came down to Atlanta to play!

Even though I hate the Atlanta airport, my flight was so smooth and I forgot just how much military is in the Atlanta airport! Handsome men in camo everywhere! And the weather, while cooler than Dallas, was still beautiful and I loved reading my book on a bench while waiting to be picked up. (Sometime Borrowed is not good - not that I expected it to be amazing - but it was mostly disappoining. I'll probably see the movie anyway, God.). So, I get picked up and head to the hotel we are staying at in Atlanta on Friday night and head out for a late lunch and margaritas. And then move over to another patio bar and they have... YUENGLING! So we get a pitcher and all is right in the world! By the time dinner roles around, we are all buzzed and laughing and having a great time. We go to RA for dinner which has a pretty great happy hour menu in Dallas but is TERRIBLE in Atlanta. We eat weird things and then head back to the hotel to take a post dinner nap and get ready to go out!

Going out in Atlanta is a lot of fun - we make it to a few bars and I'm so happy to be the only white in our group. It's basically all I was waiting for. Times are had. Sleep occurs. We wake up Saturday morning and are STARVING so we all make ourselves presentable and then follow Ajay all over Atlanta before he finds the furthest parking spot and makes us walk to brunch at a way too popular restaurant that has longest wait ever. We cross the street and find a Turkish all you can eat brunch buffet and decide that it is perfect. Becuase we were 5 people, they serve brunch family style and bring out so many eggs and tons of bacon and so much french toast and 12 breakfast burritos. TWELVE. There were only 5 of us!! Ajay was the only one that had a burrito and the rest, unfortunately, went to waste. I was so fat and happy. It was amazing.

After brunch we drive to Alpharetta and the hotel where the wedding party is staying. We have to stop at Walgreens because I need a new ace bandage since I plan on dancing like there is no tomorrow. Girls go to their room and begin the getting ready party with a 30 minute nap. I was showering first so my nap was the shortest and Ajay comes to get something from the room and proceeds to talk for the entire 30 minute nap I had scheduled for myself. I get no nap. As soon as my alarm goes off Ajay says "Well, that's all" and leaves. His entire purpose was to ruin my nap! Rude!

We have a great time getting ready and Nita mixes me a cocktail and i start getting dressed and my ankle feels a lot better with a rum and diet... so, after I see my fancy shoes on with my not fancy ace bandage I decide "I don't need this" and remove the ace bandage and finish my beverage. Off to the wedding!

This is where I meet Wells who works with Ajay and NIta in our Chatt office. Ajay has been DYING for us to meet because we are both "white and Catholic". I try to explain to him that white marriages are not the same as brown marriages, but he doesn't listen to me. Wells is taller than me in heels. Wells is very adorable and southern. Our group photo looks very funny with two very tall whites flanked with 4 very short browns.

The wedding is so much fun. Jen is so beautiful! Daniel is so handsome! The weather could not be more perfect. The venue is beautiful. I mean, it was a wonderful time! This was Nita's first white wedding so we did lots of time at the bar and dancing and loving the slideshow and the first dance and the buffet and just.... a great time.

I start chatting up bartenders Vince and Kevin and they learn that I'm drinking pinot and that I plan on having a great time. I don't know how I start talking about the things I start talking about, but I leave Kevin and Vince with a bar napkin with two things written on it that I am supposed to google: 1) Legend of Michigan Dogman and 2) Captain Killian UFO. I plan on googling after posting this. I leave them and head straight to the dance floor, where I do not leave until the wedding is over.

I danced with EVERYONE I could. Wells was my matched up dancing partner and we did so much dancing! I also managed to get many other dance partners in there. Man in Marilyn Monroe tie was spinning and dipping me like no tomorrow and that was so much fun. And then the electric slide came on and I was so excited I forgot that I never actually learned the right way to do the electric slide. So I start doing what I think it is with such passion and excitement I had part of the dance floor doing it wrong with me.  I raged.

Ajay says he was chatting with the Bride and the Mother of The Groom comes up to them and says "The dance floor is getting dirty". And Jen says, Oh no - who? And MOG says "Your father" to which Jen says "Oh gosh!" and goes to investigate. Ajay goes with her. What do they find? Me and Dad having the best time ever singing and dancing. This is made more fun by the fact that he is a PSU alumni. So he is amazing.

The wedding ends, but the party does not. We are all shuttled back to the hotel where everyone goes to the hotel bar and we meet another wedding party (I think) there and this must have been the most action that hotel bar has seen in a long, long time!

Everything was so fun and so great! A total success!!

Waking up on Sunday started ok - but, then, I realized I was exhausted and my flight wasn't until 6, so that was a long day of putzing around before Ajay and company dropped me off at the airport. All the exhaustion was totally worth it though.

My flight out was smooth and this also marks my first successful flight in and out of Atlanta. I have not forgotten how much I hate Atlanta, but I am pleased to not have had to deal with any crap in the airport!

Since returning to Dallas, I've slept... oh.... 24 hours in two nights??? So amazing. Now I need to mentally prepare for Cousin Kelly and Sister Allie's visit next weekend for memorial Day Weekend!

Some loose ends I want to follow up on:

1) I owe Jono a special bio, so here it is:

Jonathan Polovoy is the 68th follower of ABCw. He was born on June 25th as a Cancer and a kindred spirit to myself. Sharing the same birthday makes us womb brothers. Jonothan is my first identified womb brother. This does not mean we are actual brothers, just that we were in our own wombs at the same time. Jonothan will not be celebrating Womb Sister Weekend with me and my womb sisters: Natalie and Kim. Since I just turned Jonathan's bio into talking about myself (something I am exceptionally good at) you should also know that I was never his girlfriend, but I am his ex-girlfriend.

. 

Jonathan is known to his friends as Jono. I can only imagine this nickname started in college, but I'm not entirely sure. In college Jono studied Romance Language and Literature, but received his degree in Operations Management. He now spends his days in an office on gchat in Do Not Disturb mode. You can disturb him, he is not busy.

In Jono's free time, you will find him watching baseball, quoting The Office and practicing the non-competitive sport of Parkour.  Either a hope or a dream of his is "to marry a tall ginger, of course". 

2) TWO new followers!! Welcome Jesse, 72! I have no idea who you are!!! This is so exciting!!!! Follower 71 I am assuming is Baby, Lemme Lay Dat' Funk on Ya!. Using context clues, I am going to say this is Lacey Pittman because she said she was going to follow my blog and then I had a new follower!! Lacey is another New Orleans gem that no one knows about because Jarrod hid the most fun of his friends for us to discover on our own. Well, consider Lacey discovered after we had the most AMAZING diner lunch EVER! I'm not going to waste my time telling you how funny she is, when you can just follow HER blog and see for yourself!!!

Injured.

My Grandma is a nurse. Growing up she would always ask me "Are you going to be a nurse?".  My answer?

No.

Literally every single thing medical makes me cringe. I don't know how to explain it. My stomach doesn't turn, but it gets nervous. My joints tingle. I feel like I want to pull my arms and legs in and not look at or listen to whatever injury, condition or disgusting nursing is the topic of the moment. 

I pretty much made it through my childhood unscathed. I was only on antibiotics... once? I've never broken a bone. I've never even been checked out by a doctor for possibly breaking a bone. I'm pretty much free of injuries. Although, in first grade, I did skin my knee while biking and had to sit out of field day. Oh, and junior year of college I did cut my leg while shaving and it continued to bleed for what seemed like EVER. But, really, that's all I've got.

I avoid those things at all costs.

I also avoid wrists at all costs.  I literally cannot look at the underside of my wrists. Or your wrists. Or wrists on TV. Or thinking about maybe having to see my wrists. Or your wrists. Or wrists on TV. I don't know why. Nothing has ever happened to my wrists before. Even thinking about something happening to my wrists makes me uncomfortable and breathe deep to try to get my composure back.  Oh gosh. I hate it.

Last week when showering and shaving, I thought I saw a varicose vein on my calf. I had to stop shaving. I had to get out of the shower and lay down. I had to call Natalie and ask her if I was going to die or if the vein was going to pop out of my leg. She had to coach me into looking at my leg again. I couldn't find the varicose vein. She ended the phone call. I called my mom. She said "Oh, your grandma has them. I have some too." I got off the phone and had to lay down.  I can't imagine a life where I can see veins on my legs. I don't know how I'll function if that varicose vein comes back.

The point of all this? I fell on Saturday. I got up. I walked home. I went to sleep. I woke up. I called Natalie. She said take two aspirin and wear tennis shoes.

I don't like tennis shoes. Wearing tennis shoes to the Ranger's game will make me look like a lesbian. And not the cool, sexy kind. The butch kind that wears wet hair buns. 

I wore sandals. And SPF. Took two aspirins and walked it off, only to come home and remove the sandals and find out- woops. Not the best idea. My ankle was hugely swollen. I immediately felt sick. I had to lay down. I started to cry. There wasn't actual pain - I just can't look at that! I called my mom. Tears. So sad. WHAT DO I DO? She chatted nicely to me and told me to elevate my leg and get ice. I stopped crying and then she asked "Megan, you're never going to have children, are you?". My answer?

No. 

Long story shorter... the nurse at the office clinic agrees my ankle is swollen and requested an x-ray. It was my first x-ray in my entire life and it wasn't very exciting. The lady x-raying me wasn't even very nice. We're hoping the ankle isn't chipped. If it is.... well, I just don't know what I'll do.

I have some great new followers though, which is about as much excitement I can take right now.

Baltimore is taking over my blog right now! This might be the only time I'm so pleased with all this Baltimore in my life! Follower 66 is boyfriend of Roommate Michelle...Eric. Eric was a TOTAL trooper on Saturday night of Circle reunion and was able to hang with (and handle - no small feat) all six of us! Follower 67 is JenY and is one of Roommate Michelle's bff's from home. I've played with JenY in EC, VT and PSU.
Follower 68 is Jono, and based on the terms of his followership, he will get a very special blog post later this week. Follower 69 is Courtney who I've never met but know her because she comments or likes all of Michelle and Jay's statuses. She made my Monday by sending me my first official piece of fan mail via Facebook and also requested my friendship! So amazing. Follower 70 is Harrison, who I met at the bar last week while he was chat chat chatting with Roommate Erin. Always recruiting for ABCw, I asked him if he would follow my blog, and, true to his word, I had follower 70 by the time I woke up on Friday!

I know 100 by 25 might be too much to ask... but, wouldn't that be the best birthday present ever??

Also - voting for favorite  next Meet My Follower continues with Mom Daly taking off with 50% of the votes!

Grilled Cheese Voting!

Ok, so the title is kind of relevant...

In perusing google today, I found the Grilled Cheese Social blog. I love grilled cheeses (not to be confused with Glee's Grilled Cheesus)...

Anway.... I clicked. Are you DYING? Doesn't this look AMAZING!? Is it dinner time? Can we eat it now?!!?

I actually just discussed grilled cheese with McCowan this weekend. His question: WHY do all girls like grilled cheese?

This was actually quite simple for me to answer 1) because I am a girl and 2) because I had a grilled cheese for lunch that day...

Everyone's had a great grilled cheese....  just close your eyes. Taste that great grilled cheese in your mouth. Mmmm. So good.

You're going to have one this week, you know it.

Now, back to the great grilled cheese.

Who made it for you? You certainly did not make that best grilled cheese ever. Neither did your dad. Your mom did. Or your grandma.  I think it has something to do with the uterus. All moms know how to make someone's great grilled cheese. I think mom grilled cheeses are the best because mom's have a level of patience that is just not achievable until you have children.

All of my grilled cheeses are smashed. And sometimes cheese gets burnt on the edges in a sloppy flip. I just want that damn cheese to melt fast so I can dip that grilled cheese in some tomato soup. My grilled cheeses are good because how can you go wrong with butter and cheese?? - but they are not the greatest. I don't have that skill.

The way I make a grilled cheese is not the way a mom makes a grilled cheese... Moms patiently heat the pan, then butter the bread gently, they evenly distribute cheese. They get a perfect golden brown on one side and then flip it and get the perfect golden brown on the other side.  They even cut it diagonal - it doesn't matter if you are 24.  I mean - how dreamy does that grilled cheese sound?

Answer: So dreamy.

Also - while you're here, vote on the latest polling question to the right: Who should be featured in the next Meet My Followers?

The masses have spoken...

Well, 22 of you have spoken and in January RAGED became the face of ABC...W. And on May 1st I decided to do something about it. I'm trying out the blue because it's so rainy terrible in Dallas and I'm dreaming of blue skies! This is as creative as I can be.

This weekend I got my haircut and no one at work noticed. Hair dresser Julie gave me the middle part because "ALL the celebrities are doing it!". Hair dresser Julie is also still in training so I loved the $15 cut, even if it took two hours.

Although no one noticed my great new locks, I did get two ultimate compliments at work today.

UC1: "Are you a size 2?"

GIRLFRIEND! Please! I WISH I was a size 2! I've never owned a size 2! But! Because you said that! I'm eating a candy bar for lunch!!!! Mr. Goodbar? Why, yes, I think I will.

UC2: "Three IT people are helping me right now."

I was one of the 3 IT people. It was really only 2 IT people and me! And they lumped us all together!!! And these were not the weird IT people that wear bizarre clothes and can't carry a conversation - these were the desktop IT people that solve all the problems and go to happy hours. I was part of solving all of their problems!!

2 UCs? That's a pretty good day.