Tears. Seriously.

This is actually going to be January recap 2 of 3 but I have to tell you - I cried this weekend. Legitimate tears came down my face. Why? I'll tell you.

We were just having the times on Saturday - typical. We had a great Mexican dinner to celebrate Janet's birthday and we were going to drop of Kelly's car before heading to the Knox Street Pub for ultimate dance party (music videos included). I may have had two margaritas with dinner and there may have been live music with a conga line than ended with a (baby) shot of tequila. And I was feeling the tunes and the evening adventures and checking in to all locations - including Kelly's car. So, we park the car and are sitting and waiting to catch our next ride. We're just chatting. And, out of the corner of my eye, I see a man walk in that appears to be dressed well and also appears to maybe be tall. I of course take a gander.

I gander for 2 seconds before I scream out: YOU ARE RON CORNING FROM THE DALLAS MORNING SHOW! And he says "YES!". And I literally start crying. I have to cover my face and I can't even look at him. Everyone is laughing at me and I'm just trying to catch my breath and stop crying and I'm thinking "Oh my God! Movie Star! Celebrity Sighting! STOP CRYING SELF!". By the time I can take my face out of my hands, I am now tuned into the fact that Erin and Kelly are laughing at me. And, apparently Ron Corning invited me to the pool but I didn't hear it because I was having a legitimate panic attack.  I mean, seriously, check out this commercial and tell me he isn't the corniest (JOKE - GET IT?) Morning anchor in the history of morning anchors?

MORE - RON! Do you get it?? So what do I do? I get on Twitter and TWEET @RONCORNING. This is the point in the night I realize I have a problem. Do you want to know who the first person I followed on Twitter was? ROBIN ROBERTS.

I love morning news anchors! And then I thought, what if, heaven help me, I accidentally ran into Robin Roberts? I think I would pee myself. I have NO idea what I would do!

Which, PS, you may recognize Izzy from this famous news flub.

So, what else happened in January? I went to St. Louis with Jessica. Girlfriend Sarah was the most fabulous host ever! We did SO MANY THINGS when we were in St. Louis!

Before I get to the so many things, let me give you a synopsis of pre-trip. Pre-trip something came up that made me say to Jessica "Jessica, do you know what state St. Louis is in?" And she said no. So I told her St. Louis was in Missouri. End of story.

Fast forward to St. Louis. We're all out having the best time ever and met up with friend Priyanka and Ashley and were listening to music and dancing and having a fabulous time! We move to a pub and we are sitting around talking and someone says (probably Sarah) says "Jessica doesn't know what state we are in." And I chime in "Yes she does, I told her." And I am preparing for my proudest moment this new man says "Jessica, what state are we in?" Jessica doesn't miss a beat.


Funniest moment of the trip. Hands down. Oh, except for when Jessica told us she went on a Jack-in-the-box diet for one summer and ate two tacos and an oreo milkshake for breakfast, lunch and dinner and lost 5lbs.

I'm telling you people, you should come to Dallas just to meet Jessica. She is a perfect friend and she diets just like me.  And she cracks me up like crazy. And I have to stop talking about her or else Girlfriend Sarah will get jealous.

Back to St. Louis. We did EVERYTHING!

Taking hipster photos
Botanical Gardens Tropical Forest
Visiting the Arch
Visiting a bar that looks like a strip club

Hanging out at the zoo with a ham of an orangutan 

Playing some Big Buck Hunter on Sunday Funday

Lacing up our skates for ice skating
Toured Anheuser Busch Brewery with free sips
Girlfriend Sarah was the ULTIMATE host! She took us to so many great restuarants and showed us all of her favorite spots. And I got to share a twin bed with Jessica the entire weekend. And we went to the grocery story and she took us to the Quik Trip for my first taquito EVER and it was amazing with a fountain DC and we shopped and shopped and looked at antique stores and had brunch and it was just an amazing, fun-filled, non stop perfect girls weekend! There is not one thing I would change. Best weekend ever!

Also, preparing you for recap 3 of 3 of January: the zero mention of Justin means I didn't think of him at all while on vacation. 


January Recap 1 of 3

Where, oh where, have I been!??

Lots of places! I'll do a few blogs to back track because January has been such a great successful month full of so many times! I have some items I want you to know immediately, but I have to start at the beginning. So... we will go there... to January 1st!

Beautiful but disgusting
New Years Eve kicked off the year. Emily (83) planned a so great dinner and bar situation to ring in 2012. Nate was in town while he covered the bowl game, so he was obviously my date. We went to Cane Russo with Kelly, Jess, Husband Keith, Emily, Brother David of Emily, Other Jess, Lauren, Brittany and Logan! Such great food (pizza, duh) and toasting of champagne! After dinner most people came back to my place where we had more beverages and terrible cupcakes.

The terrible cupcakes were the worst! I think I'm an ok baker so when I tasted the garbage I presented to my guests, I was quite upset. They were a new take on my always wildly successful strawberry champagne cupcake, however it appears Central Market sold me a bottle of champagne that smelled of (and tasted like) dirty socks. Very frustrating. I now have to prove myself to those people who only know these cupcakes as my baking capabilities.

See, I was having a third "date" on New Years Eve. Justin (from last post) joined us with his friend Darin. How embarrassing that he thinks I make bad cupcakes! Pause.

I was very undecided on Justin coming to New Years Eve. He asked me if he could see me and I thought that was weird because NYE is a holiday. Yes, the worst holiday, but a holiday nonetheless. No one else really thought it was TOO weird because it was only NYE... so, I obliged the masses and invited him out with us. Play.

Me and Nathan on NYE in Dallas!
Most important thing for you to know about the night: I looked very pretty in my dress, tuxedo heels and fake eyelashes.

Husband Keith (of Jess) did a great job of peer pressuring everyone to drink a lot of whiskey so by the time it was time to go to the bar, everyone was having a great time. I was well behaved and did not succumb to peer pressure and casually sipped my vodsod while I discarded the cupcakes. Such a waste.

Anyway, NYE was fabulous, except, they missed midnight. How do you miss midnight on new years?? Sigh.

New Years Day evening was fabulous because that is when I had so much Penn State fun in Dallas! Nan and Dan came down from Tulsa for the Bowl Game and Rohrbach was in town with his friends for the game too! We all met up with Nate at a bar, Nan and Dan rocked the juke box and confirmed that they are dating, and we all cheersed and had the best time ever! We didn't stay out past midnight because our plans for the bowl game were big!

Free DC? Don't mind if we do!
Nan and Dan were staying with me so we woke up at 7am to make eggs, drink mimosas and prepare for the day ahead. Dan had purchased this AMAZING 4 ticket special that got us 4 tickets to the bowl game, 4 hot dogs and 4 diet cokes! Can you imagine anything better? Well, yes: Dan also had a friend that was tailgating so we got to have the full football experience! Justin actually came with us too as the 4th ticket. He was a total trooper... especially because the day started at 7am and didn't end until 11pm. We really raged hard.

Dan is following the sun
Besides watching terrible football and following the sun to stay warm and drinking diet cokes and beers, we did a lot of walking and rode the DART train and went to a beer garden and met up with Erin and Jess and Emily and others. It was still freezing cold, so we continued enjoying bevs and laughing and having the times! By 7pm we realized that we had only noshed on some tailgate bites and a hot dog, so we gathered the group and went to a pizza place that had great pizza and terrible mean service. I mean, pizza is pizza, so you should be a little nice when dropping it on the table, B. Regardless, the company was the times and we just laughed and laughed! By the time 10:30 rolled around I was totally exhausted!

Nan and Dan stayed another night in the Big D and were out the door by 7:30 on Tuesday morning. They paid me so many compliments for being so host-y in the morning. They thought they were in my way while I was getting ready for work so they tried to stay out of my hair. I didn't really notice and they weren't in my way until I went into the kitchen and they were brushing their teeth in the kitchen sink. I explained that this was unnecessary and that they could use the bathroom. N&D took an OJ for the road and that was that! I was SO happy to host them and add Nan to my visitor list and Dan to the repeat visitor list!

When I went to work on that first Tuesday of the New Year, I hadn't been in the office for a very long time because of holiday travel. I didn't even notice as I walked to my cube that ALL OF MY THINGS WERE GONE!

Just some office fun.

This was supposed to be a funny joke they played on me. Like: Hahaha, let's move everything Megan owns and put her in a new cube. I was a little shocked at first because I thought I was getting fired. And then I thought it was funny when I saw my new cube with a bow on it and all of my things moved and organized. I really didn't mind the move, but I couldn't let them know that. Miss Judy was behind the move so while she was out of the office I went to Walmart and spent $5 on wrapping paper, bows and garland and decorated her desk for her.

Got her.



So one of the sups just stopped by to visit me and we were chatting and she said she was out with her friend and she saw a very tall handsome man and she said HE IS CUTE! I HAVE A GIRL FOR HIM! So, she wanted to check and see if I had gotten married, and since I haven't, she said she'll keep an eye out for me.

So we get to chatting and she says, you probably don't even remember that you said this to me...


Has anyone ever said that to you before? I say A LOT of things and don't really count on people remembering what I say. This made me very nervous!

But, apparently I told her at one point that men should be afriad of me because I have very high expectations and that is the way I'm keeping it.

So, she had that rolling around in her mind when she saw her ex (he cheated on her) over the holidays and he asked her to get back together and she internalized for a moment and then said to him: My expectations have changed. We will not work anymore.

Moral: People remember things we don't.

Lesson: Always listen to what you're saying!


Farewell 2011!

Good Day and Welcome to the last blog post of 2011.

I had a terrible thought today, and that thought was: what if this isn't the last blog post of 2011, but the last blog post of abitcattywampus? Silly, I know, but I feel an unnecessary amount of (self) pressure to up my blogging skills, content and occurences. You know, I do listen to what you followers say in casual conversation and you're all a very difficult group to please. If I'm telling wild tales of raging some of you say "Uh, Megan, too long of a post" or "Uh, Megan, we like it better when you complain" or some say "I didn't laugh at that" (cough, Jarrod).  I also am worried that the only person that really reads my blog is my Dad. And, while my Dad is a great follower, he kind of has to read if he's a follower. I mean, I am the oldest and best child. It only makes sense!

What am I getting at here? I think I need to revamp the blog in 2012 if it's going to survive.  I need to be more dedicated to posting. And, I need to think what I'm going to post about. And I need to find 100 followers! And that's what I'm FEELING and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it.

I'll decide at 12:04AM 1/1/2012.

But, since all of that is happening in 2012, here's what I've been busy doing these last few weeks of 2011:

Most immediately, I have a run in my hoe. And what does that mean, exactly? In college, the roommates and I took to some particular speaking habits. We can speak for hours in what will sound like entirely incomplete thoughts in a different language, but we all know what is going on. One of the peculiar things (or so others have told me) was our ability to singuar-ize (new word) things that are usually plural for the singluar. So, like... Pants : Pant. Shoes: Shoe. Hose: Hoe. These may seem like minor changes, but it's enough for an outside listener to think: What? A sentence could be: I couldn't find a pant I liked that matched my shirt. I need a shoe to wear tonight (even though we would definitely be wearing two shoes). Or, I have a run in my hoe (abbreve for hose, abbreve for pantyhose/nylon/tights). This run in my hoe is just about trying to ruin my day. These are BRAND NEW! They were an average of $4, but they are nude and see through but still thick with a very subtle pattern. Perfect for spicing up a work outfit without being out of control. And my new boot has this great zipper on it and just SNAGGED it like SNAGGING is it's job! Which, it is NOT because WALKING is there job. This all happened before 9AM on a great outfit day. Happy Thursday. God.

Transitioning: I did not wear pantyhose when I was home for the holidays. I spent much of my time in sweats, jeans and leggings. I didn't even really pack a work outfit which was terrible because I went into the office and had to dress business casual. I love going into the Pittsburgh office because I have met some wonderful people in that office through my last role. I don't really go in to the office to work - I go in to the office to go to lunch with the ladies. We went to Max and Irma's and I had the chicken tortilla soup and it was fabulous!

Baby Rain also came to visit for the weekend. I cannot say ENOUGH how cute he is! He can work the iPad and iPhone and with a little bit of help has beaten a level of Angry Birds (I'm not bragging or anything.) He also loves remotes and the on/off button on the TV. I, however, really like the Weeble toy we got him that has a crank to get the Weebles to the top of the slide and then they hit a noise maker at the end of the slide and this really great Weebles Wobble But The Don't Fall Down Music plays. Most grown ups play with that toy longer than Baby Rain does.

Miller Family Christmas happens the week before Christmas for as long as I can remember. This was the third annual Cousin's Night Out, celebrated on the Southside and everyone that could be in attendance was! We milked a few uncles for some cash money and my Dad also attended and purchased the first round! We had a lot of fun and were pretty well behaved until Cousin Danny decided to crowdsurf at the bar with all the cousins. The bouncer quickly yelled at Boyfriend Matt (least likely to cause a problem) and the bartender secretly told us that it was pretty impressive that we were able to have him crowd surf for so long. This was at 1:45 and when we all decided Primanti's would be a good idea. It was. And the half I saved for breakfast the next morning was also a great idea!

The big Christmas event for my Mom's side of the family is Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve has always been the favorite holiday of all, until recently. The olds just complicate everything with there whacko planning. I'm not sure if it has always been this way or only recently, but let's be serious: there is no need for my dinner plate to have lasagna, pork roast, roast beef sandwich and stuffed pepper soup on it. Not because that is a lot of food (I had small portions, anyway) but because that DOES NOT GO and requires a LOT of effort. Also, my Aunt Ro's house has a very small basement and she basically shoves us all down there. She doens't actually shove us there, but that is where the food and drinks and chairs are so we don't have much choice to go anywhere else. My aunt also moved the very appropriately placed in a corner day bed and put it in the MIDDLE of the room. I think the idea was "look, now 6 people can sit on the bed instead of 3!" but it was still a TWIN BED in the MIDDLE of the room. It also gave the kids an opportunity to throw themselves on the bed and bounce other people while they were eating, drinking, chatting. It was weird. Also, we do the grabbag. Last year you remember (right?) that I painstakingly folded 25 $1 bills into a christmas wreath as a gift. This year, I was insipred by Parks and Recreation and made a Female TREATCHOSELF! gift that included: Diamonds (fake), Chocolate (covered pretzels) and Champagne (Korbel). My aunt ended up with this present and loved the sparkly bracelet, gave cousin Kelly the champagne and I snatched back those chocolate covered pretzels (yum!). I ended up with some knives - which I was pleased about.

My immediate family opens gifts on Christmas Eve. So after the events of Aunt Rosemary's Christmas Eve we all trecked back to my house (one street away) and searched for wine and after dinner liqour, clicked on the HDTV Yule Log and carols and began to open presents! This year we totally blew my mom's socks off and got her 8 of the wine glasses she loves and would never have got for herself. We wrapped them differently and gave them to her at separate times so she was really surprised - we did a good job! I always complain that I don't have any surprises for Christmas because I'm usually my mother's elf: shopping, wrapping, etc, but this year I did have surprises and got a lovely tortosie Coach boyfriend watch and my sister surprised me with this fake fur I've been adminiring at Macy's. Brother Adam got me all kinds of Steelers gear and Brother Matt asked me to buy myself something so he got me the boots that snagged the hoe I'm wearing today. Dad capped off Christmas by presenting me and Allie with savings bonds that were purchased in our name at birth and are just about done earning interest - woohoo!

The holiday was a total success and I had a great time being home! Although, I'm glad to be back in Dallas and attempting to reestablish some type of routine! The rest of 2011 will be spent on chores and mini projects and reading. Oh, and then I guess I'll also ring in the New Year with some lovely friends!

2011, you were The Times. 2012, the bar's been set high!