11/28/2010

i've forgotten the details

I started this post 8 days ago. And I told Jarrod I wasn't going to update today - but, I just put up my Christmas tree and it is too small for my high ceilings, so I'm going to look away from it and blog for a bit. With Grey's on. I'm not proofing what I wrote however many days ago I wrote it - I'm just going to pick up where I dropped off. Good luck, readers.

I am, again, sorry. I mean to post more regularly. I wish I could say I've just been so busy lately, but I haven't. I have been enjoying doing nothing during my time off. I have considered writing sooner - but I'm usually under a warm blanket or napping with a puppy and well, I just decide against blogging. So now I'm in the predicament to remember everything blog worthy that has happened since my last post... which that is definitely not happening.

I will start with what I think is the next thing after my blog post... my flight to DC last... Thursday? I flew American Airlines - I really don't hate them, but god, they have poor customer service at the front desk. Just. So. Slow. And it definitely has nothing to do with the South - because as far as Dallas is concerned, it's pretty much on the go. I went to gate C15 for my 5:25 flight and at 5:15 I realized my gate was actually C25 and my flight was actually 5:15 so in a TOTAL PANIC I ended a nice little chat with Peter to RUN like a maniac to the correct gate. I cursed myself the entire way there since that was really so stupid of me. Thank gosh my flight was delayed... and then delayed.... and I didn't miss my flight. I wasn't even mad about the delays since I was just so happy to have made my flight! My anger came when they tried to make me check my bag even though I PROVED my bag fit in the carrier. The B attendant was like "Can you get that OUT of there easily?" And I said - YES BUT WHAT DOES IT MATTER SINCE I GOT IT IN THERE (rolls eyes). Then I took my ticket and might have stomped on the plane. The stomping was unintentional -- I had on these GREAT booties that just happened to stomp as I got away from the idiot attendant who was trying to ruin my life.

When I got in my seat I thought I hit the neighbor jackpot since I had somehow managed to secure a seat in the center of the school for the deaf first flight. I mean - I was lined up for a silent flight. If I close my eyes, they stop talking. Except, I did not bank on the chaperon not being deaf and being able to speak while signing and flipping her weave all over me while she was getting situated. I give the flight experience a 5. I have never had a 10 flight experience. But I do like that American Airlines gives me a whole can of Diet Coke.

I arrived at DCA airport and Droid was pretty much on zero battery and I was so worried I would not be able to locate Erica who was picking me up!!! And then I got to thinking - what would my emergency plan be if my phone dies and I really can't find her?! What did people do before cell phones!?? Thankfully, I found Erica and went right to the pick up spot I thought she said, but was actually in fact not the space she said but because I'm so tall she could spy me anyway and pick me up and take me to her apartment - PHEW!. (My emergency plan was to ask a random if I could use their phone and call roommate Michelle - hers is the only number besides my mom's cell that I know by heart - and tell her to do whatever she could to get in touch with Erica - my suggestion would have been to call Natalie or McCowan or Jarrod or someone like that - and then give Erica details about where I would be standing and not moving until she found me.)

Erica was such a darling hostess - she made me a homemade grilled cheese and so delicious tomato soup and we chatted chat chatted until we fell asleep!! And then we woke up and Erica went to a meeting and I lounged and made myself presentable until she got home and we explored Georgetown which is so cute and had a great pizzeria lunch and went to a psychic!!!! I don't know if I believe this psychic - but she did say some key things:

1. I am getting married. He is older than me. And white. I guess she knew how much I love minorities because she made sure to tell me the race of my husband. I am going to be married twice but divorced never - which I think means two ceremonies but Michelle thinks means my first husband is going to die. The psychic said nothing depressing like that - so I think I'm eloping and then renewing vows.

2. The psychic thinks I lied to her about how many boyfriends I have had and isn't sure why I won't tell her the truth. Even though I did. The only thing I can think of is that me calling most all attractives either a boyfriend or a husband has really thrown off the spirit world. Anyway, one of my exes is coming back into my life for a fun, long-distance relationship (which, do those two things even go together? Idiot) and then something romantic is going to happen to me in March when I meet a younger man. More to come...

3. I am naturally inclined to be a vegan. In the next year I will become very health conscious. And I will live a very long life of 85 years. And pretty much when she said I was naturally inclined to be a vegan I stopped believing anything she said. I mean - seriously? Those people are weird and I am anything BUT WEIRD!

So, that was the psychic. I need to go to another one I think. OH! And she said I'm going to quit my job in the summer of 2011. To which I said "Like, right now is November 2010, and in May 2011 I will QUIT my job" and she said Yes. I don't believe that either. If I didn't quit in Chattanooga, I'm certainly not quitting anytime soon - especially since I really am enjoying my work.

Let's see - next is Friday night rage. We had such a great time!! We took a cab into DC and saw lots of people and danced SO MUCH. I mean - total rager!!! I saw Smerrit french a girl. I saw Lucas post too many 4Lokos. I played the most fun game with Jarrod which really won't seem funny on the blog but pretty much had us giggling non stop in tears the entire night. I saw a few unexpecteds. And McCowan who bought me a rum and diet even though I was consuming beer - and that rum and diet has made me decide I don't like rum and diet and need to think of what my new go to drink will be. I danced with Greg Hyde too. I saw Buddy and Nate and Buddy Girlfriend for 1 minute on my way out which is the total pits and I wish I got to rage with them more. I GOT SO MANY COMPLIMENTS ON MY OH SO VOLUMINOUS HAIR!! Me and Erica were in bed by.... 2:30?

Me and Erica were up by 7AM to catch the Boom Boom Bus which is an orange school bus with seats around the sides and three green dance poles that was taking us from Arlington to FedEx Stadium/Field/Whatever. The bus holds 40 people - I don't think we were at maximum capacity but we probably were at 35 capacity. Every. Single. Person. brought beer. Cases of beer. There was not a potato chip to be found. Until, I spied Lucas, with a big bagel bin. And I was so happy to know him and be his friend because that was just pure intelligence. When he got on the bus, I said "Lucas! Can I have one!?" and he came over, opened the bin, and it was full of 4Lokos! Not bagels. Eventually a box of wheat thins and fruit rollups were shared, but really - not the most thought out bus trip. But, lots of fun - for 8:30 AM. Besides food, parking was also not thought out as we didn't have a permit and had to circle the stadium for what seemed like to long before we tried again and were allowed in sans permit to the original parking lot. Tailgating was... tailgating! We had a great time and by the time it was time to go into the game - well I just didn't want to. We did a lot of switching of tickets so people could go in when they wanted to and have a friend - I ended up in the last leg with Greg as my seat partner. He did a great fake out and made me look at the Eiffel Tower - except, we were not in Paris so there was no Eiffel Tower. God. Good one. We had to walk to the top of the stadium and it was SO TIRING! All I wanted to do was eat. We sat in not our seats for 15 minutes, took a few photos and then waited in line for chicken fingers. Then we walked back to the bus, ate the chicken fingers and took a nap with what appeared to be homeless people that took over our bus but were later identified as other bus drivers.

The bus ride back was so much more raging than the bus ride there - which I guess had a lot to do with the time and amount of beverage consumed. Since we had the bus for X amount of hours, we rode all over DC with the windows down raging to Single Ladies and Black and Yellow. Literally those are the only two songs I remember since only one CD was brought for the entire 9 hours. Proud to be an American also came on which also was a great sing along song in DC.

Saturday rage occurred with Michelle, Lisa and Ker coming to Erica's place where we were with Jarrod. I tried to prep Erica and Jarrod for the total 512 appearance, but I don't think they truly understood until the mayhem started. The mayhem was especially chaotic since me Erica and Jarrod were enjoying a candle lit nap in Erica's bed - Jarrod sans pants because that is Jarrod. (Spoon me!) The three stooges some how managed to "break" the car door which really wasn't broken since I fixed it the second I touched it. But, they were all worked up - especially Lisa since it was her car. I don't know if I recall upper lip sweat or not, but I imagine she at least almost had it. Showers had to occur and hair and makeup and outfits and snacking and I think Erica was pretty much rethinking inviting them and Jarrod was probably upset I through his only contact number out the bus window (his phone died and he was going old school...). Anyway, we managed to get two cabs and go to the worst bar ever with the meanest staff ever and so crowded with a terrible band and it was TERRIBLE THE WORST THE TOTAL PITS! We went to the bar across the street which was not so mean and had a little more breathing room and great tunes to jam to!

(This is me picking up where I left off)

Anyway, jamming jamming jamming and Jarrod overheard someone asking if I was wearing a wig!!!! So he repeated this to me. And I started crying immediately. It was really, really weird. Also that evening my ex-boyfriend (Michelle's friend who broke up with me in Baltimore when we weren't dating and tried to ruin my self esteem but I won't let anything ruin my self-esteem) was there. That bastard came right up to me and said something that I am remembering to exactly be "Hi - you look familiar?". I have an angry remembering face on right now. And, darnit, because that is what I should have said! God. So anyway, I chatted and danced with my exboyfriend, lip kissed him, and then we broke up again. That will show him. I also just had a dream that Michelle married Jono except even though he was called Jono he was actually in the body of Eminem and it was a destination wedding that I drove to from Texas. And I got there a day early and got to go to a baseball game, but since I went to the game I didn't get to repack my suitcase and the car left without me and I didn't get to go to the destination wedding in OCMD. Total bummer. Then Moses woke me up.

When I'm working from home, Moses and Lincoln wake me up. It is annoying, until I remember how cute they are. Moses brings me a toy, and Lincoln steals my underwear. This is them working with me in the kitchen:



Ok, this is where I forget pretty much the rest of DC. Cab ride home. Oatmeal. Turkey. Wake Up. Muffins. Hot Flash. Water in big cup. Suburbs. Brunch. brunch on Sunday - IT WAS AMAZING. I went with Jarrod's friends, Red and Army, (those aren't their names at all, I just forgot them). Anyway, brunch was so amazing and we ate so much food. And they have a dog that isn't named Heather at all, but that is the name that is coming to mind. And the dog is so cute!!!! And then I got in the car with Jarrod and he drove me to the Outlets, and on the way there we saw SO many dead animals. I mean, SO MANY. And he shared with me SO MANY STORIES of how his family killed, eight, maybe nine, cats. And we listened to Mariah Carey Christmas CD but he did not listen to the one song that everyone loves (everyone but Jarrod I guess) - All I Want for Christmas Is You. You're welcome because now you want to go listen to that song and now it is stuck in your head for at least a few more hours.

Ok, and then I was home. I worked a little and took some vacation. And it was so relaxing. And then that takes me to I don't even know what day, Thanksgiving?

Family Thanksgiving was a family Thanksgiving. Brothers Adam and Matt and Sister Allie thought I was so funny at the kids table. Cousin Kelly did not. Mostly because she said something whiney about her graduating college and no one saying anything. And she was being so sad that I just told people (uncles, her father) that she graduated college and weren't they so proud!!!!! Which, yes they were! And then she got very snotty and started spewing HATE which Carcar says we are not allowed to use that word- until Carcar got distracted because her stitches started bleeding which is still makes my toes curl because it creeps my stomach out so much. And, well, Kelly hated me the rest of the night and I think until the next day too. But that's ok - I was funny and we were friends the next week when I went to Penn State for the boys' birthday.

The boys turned 21. And I went up to supervise. Let's be serious - Allie and Kelly are not the responsible ones. Both of them are pretty TOed that I just wrote that, but, Allie and Kelly -- let's think about your Tuesday hangovers. Ok? Responsible. RIGHT HERE! After work on Monday me and Allie and Matt drove to Penn State for midnight at the Phyrst. I love the Phyrst. And holy crap for a Monday it was crowded!! The boys had one beer and one shot and were in bed by 12:30 AM. They mustn't ever stay up late! Aww! Right Mom? Right Dad!?

Ok, but seriously, we had such a fun night and everyone was mostly functioning the next day for our celebration lunch (the boys' birthday and Kelly's graduation party -- see how I just carried Thanksgiving jokes to 5 days later!?). I told the boys' they could go anywhere they wanted and the picked Hoss's Steak House. I mean, seriously? After picking again, we ended up at TGIFriday's and had a great lunch and then drove home. I was the best of the 4 children ever since I was sans hangover. I am so great.

After I got home with the bad children, I went out to Shadyside to see Peter's new apartment. SO GREAT! He is so lucky I had a vision for his new life and now his quality of life is so improved and his apartment is so great but needs some extras and he was so happy I came over for 30 minutes to give him some ideas and forbid him from hanging one of those stupid cheap blankets he got at a football game when applying for a credit card he did not want and would not be approved for. Just like the one Michelle had on her bed in college. Because blankets belong on beds. Not on walls. Pete - are you picking up what I'm putting down? If you're going to bag a hot chick you cannot have cheap football game souvenirs hanging on your wall. Nope. Can't happen. Then we went out to meet Andy for a drink (or two) and had just a great chatting session and lots of laughs and Andy got a weird text message from someone he doesn't know but says he use to "game" with Andy and the reason they fell out was because of the baby. It was so weird and Andy did not know who he was. So he asked why he wasn't invited to the baptism. News - the baby hasn't been baptized yet. It was weird. I don't know if Andy ever figured out who this person was.

I flew American Airlines home on Wednesday and besides a little delay, which we made up in the air, no issues. I was so excited to do the body scanner but they put me in the stupid metal detector line. I want to see my body scan! I mean, what is the big deal anyway? But, nope. Metal detector for me. Maybe when I fly home for Christmas!?!

This is me getting serious about blogging right now. I will be blogging at least weekly, hopefully twice weekly. My blogs one year birthday is coming up soon, and I can't forget about it just because it's getting older. I haven't gotten a new follower in a while. And I also haven't gotten a friend request in facebook in a longer while. That's ruining my self-esteem. But, my self-esteem isn't ruined.

Did I mention how many compliments I got on my hair when I was in DC? Should I get bangs? Natalie got them! Not that she's even reading this. And not that if she even was reading this she got this far. The reason I want them is because she put them in my mind and then I saw this GREAT hair add in Cosmo and I think I'm going to rip it out and take it to the salon and ask them, honestly, can I get the exact hair in the picture. It never looks the same. But it looks great in the picture.

Did I mention I put my Christmas tree up? It is so awkward in my corner... But nicer than Charlie Brown's tree. It needs some Macy's bags under it.

11/16/2010

Bango!

During the day I am mentally preparing my blog posting. Something happens and I think- my followers and non followers will appreciate the absurdity/stupidity/humor/whatever of this and I need to post it!

And then, before I know it, I've had dinner, gotten distracted with work emails, am waiting for DWTS to start or trying to figure out what the smell in my apartment is. Distracted. No blog. Ten days later.

But after work I had an experience at the grocery store that I wanted to blog about. Since pretty much all of my readers are yankees, it will probably surprise you to learn that down south people are just generally more friendly here. It was WEIRD when I moved to Chattanooga... but, that was my introduction to the south. Now that I'm here in Plano, I could probably pass for one of them... I mean - I smile at people when I pass them. I say "hi" to people I don't know. I putz around for a few minutes with them asking about their children or awwing pictures of their dogs. I learned that stuffing is called dressing and they make it with cornbread. And that people call their parents "mom and dad" when telling stories not "my mom and dad" ("For Thanksgiving we are going to visit mom and dad" - and they aren't my mom and dad). Anyway, the point of this is that at the grocery store today three random people said hello to me, unprovoked. I mean, I wasn't even close to them. And today I was a bad southerner because I had a meeting until 6pm and just wanted to run in and run out. And, well, I think I'm going to pull back on some of my "hi's" and smiles because there is too much riffraff out there and I don't want to mix my normalcy with their wackoddles. (Just made that up. Noun. Wa-kod-ils)

See, like, even just now I got distracted from the blog. Nan called. Nan is a hoot! She is on facebook and she uses a partial last name so no one can find her. She has 8 pictures on the book and wall exchanges with cousin Kelly's friends, me, Allie and some friends of Nan's that are apparently also happening. Nan is so happening  -  you don't get it. She loves reality tv aka her programs and her evenings pretty much revolve around the shows. Nan is actually the one that got me hooked on DWTS! She always watched and if I forgot it was on and called during it she would rush me off the phone in a record 2 minutes - we NEVER chat for just two minutes. Oh, and American Idol. AND Bachelor. And then obviously Bachelorette. Nan's email address is ncgrama - I mean - how cool is she. Also, on 6/11/09 she ended an email to me "PS I would certainly not miss the Bachelorette. I hope that she hooks up with Jake the pilot I really like him." Little did we know the level of idiot he would reach only a year later. GOD JAKE!

This is a picture of me and Nan:



Anyway, if any of you have a Grandma that emails, or wish you did, I know you'll appreciate this email Nan sent me last April. It still makes me laugh out loud.

GOOD MORNING MEG:


I hope that you find a flight to come home for the wedding. We certainly will have lunch and we'll have lots to talk about. Yes, I was glad to see Scott taken off American Idol. Once I saw him talking back to Simon I knew that he would not be back. The same thing happened to Megan Joy the week before. She talked back to Simon in front of America and bango she did not return. I was tired of Scott and I knew that he didn't have a chance for the final two.



The next program I watch religiously is Dancing With The Stars. Do you watch that. I really love that program. It is on Monday nights at 8 with the results on Tuesday nights at 9. Well, you know where we spent our week nights. There aren't any good programs on the rest of the week. Maybe every now and then I watch Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump. At times he is obnoxious. I really don't care as it is something to see besides the murders and the hospitals where people are always dying. I am tired of the drug programs too. If people want to take them let them and then die-who cares.



I like the idea of us going out to lunch-we love that. We went to Sarris for ice cream yesterday and what a crowd. There were 2 policemen directing traffic and the inside was so-so crowded. There wasn't a parking place to be had. You know me-I put that Handicapped sign on the windshield and they always find a parking place for us. That's terrible, isn't it.



Meg I want you to be especially on the lookout for that cute guy. I still see that young pharmacist at CVS that I had for you. I understand that he is doing an internship at one of the hospital in Pittsburgh and that on the weekends he works in CVS. He is so nice and QUIET.



Did you have to work today, Good Friday. Take care of that car. Did you have the mirror fixed yet.



Have a nice Easter and we LOVE you. Nanny P>S> Poppy says the same.



The other great thing Nan does is take me and my friends to the Casino. Well, actually, we went to take her since she has no one to go with, but she ended up leading the way. She gave me, Michelle, Lisa and Leigh a CRISP $10 bill (from an envelope in her purse, which is what she uses in case a mugger asks for her wallet she will give it to him and still have her envelope of dollar dollar bills). Anyway, Lisa for got her ID and Nan was excited to go spend her $10 so, with Nan's approval, we left Lisa in the car while we went and gambled her $10 for an hour. Lisa napped. The rest of us made... like... $14. Hello!

More Nan stories to come since I'm heading back north this weekend! Back to packing for me... I need to pack for the chill and for the rage. It's been a while since I've had to do this!

PS - Brandy and Bristol in the bottom 2 on DWTS. Either way this goes - I'll be happy to see either of them gone! Oh, and Brandy is aware that viewers know she was involved in a homicide. It was on the clip last night.

11/09/2010

water is for fish

Yea, you heard me! I'm starting this blog at 5:59 and I haven't had a sip of water yet today. Some people probably think that isn't healthy - well hold your nutrition horses because I have a glass of water next to me - I'm just waiting until 6:00 pm to drink it.

Speaking of horses, Spot is gone. He has been gone for weeks. Where ever I was last, I don't remember, now that I'm back in town - I haven't seen him. Glue factory.

I've been in the valley at work - I was peaked, and I knew a peak was coming, but these past two weeks things have been so low stress, I really didn't know what to do with myself. And then it was Monday. God. I had 5 scheduled hours of calls, was sent 2.5 extra hours of calls that morning and 2 of my calls went over for a total of 90 minutes. You do the math. I was high stress yesterday.

But all that stress was ok since I raged on Friday. I did not mean to rage on Friday... well, maybe I did mean it. Last week Lee said Aaron was in from California and that they were going to come down to Dallas (Plano) to visit (=rage). So great! I got everything done at work and was heading out around 5:30 and I saw the light that's been on my dashboard for too long (I'm not going to give the actual length since my dad reads this and I'm going to get in trouble...) Anyway, I decided that yes I had 10 minutes to stop at Walmart and ask them to check the pressure on my tires - since I don't know how to put air in my tires (that's a boy job anyway). So, the man tells me to bring my car around and goes to the front passenger tire and then he looks at me through the windshield and waves me over. He says "Ma'am - THIS IS A NAIL IN YOUR TIRE". And I said "Oh, that's really not convenient right now" and he said I should really get it fixed. And I did have this internal chatter where I said "Well, Megan, you've been driving around this way for X days, just get it fixed tomorrow".

You're probably wondering why I didn't want to just get the damn tire fixed - well, I slept in for work. And I did not shower. And while I did not smell. I felt like I should probably get a shower before a rage. Now, don't get me wrong - I had a great work outfit on, and even if I didn't I was so beautiful on Thursday I definitely got a free pass for Friday. ANYWAY, enough about me- I wanted to shower and I was already behind schedule and Lee/Aaron would be there soon and that is why I had an internal debate.

The man promised it would be quick, and I figured the damn nail was a safety hazard so I let him fix it. For 55 minutes. I was so behind by the time Lee got to my apartment I was still in putzing clothes, sans make up and finished hair. But she was so great and just snacked around, had a glass of wine (or two) while I got ready and then we left for dinner...

Only to learn Aaron was 5 minutes away. So we turned around, took two shots of tequila and waited for him to get here. And then we went to a bar where Lee was so badass and only was drinking crown and we had a shot of that. And then another shot of rumplemintz. And a beer or two. And christ, you would have thought I was in college. But I'm not. But I raged anyway. I even went to Sambuca which is a prime location for 40 year old tonsil hockey but actually on Friday is more of a 30 year old scene. Whatever I was totally raging even if Lee and Aaron wouldn't dance with me. Rude. We really didn't even make it until 1:30 - went home, went to bed. Aaron was gone for his flight by 6am, Lee and I were stirring around 8? 9? I knew I was death.

I have not been that hungover.... uh, I don't know. I remember one time in college being that hungover - I don't know what I did the night before, but it was terrible. So all day Saturday I literally could not move. In the morning I could move because I might have still been a little intoxicated, but as soon as Lee left I sobered up quick and wanted to die. I mean, I could not walk without wanting to vom. I did not vom, but I wanted to. I had no diet coke. It was pretty much the worst situation ever. Diet Coke would have healed me. I just didn't have it in me to go to a store. When I had strength to move to my bed, I turned on the TV (which, Saturday DAY tv is terrible) and watched an LA Ink marathon and went back to bed.

If I ever get a tattoo it will be like Rhianna's gun tattoo. On my side. Gun. High, by my armpit. But not my armpit at all.

Anyway, because I raged so hard I had to decline the invitation to rage in Fort Worth on Saturday.... but don't worry - we've rescheduled.

Ok, so I'm really just writing to get back into it. If you haven't figured it out, I have nothing to say. Sorry I'm not sorry. This blog is for me! I don't have to apologize! (Right, Harper? Is that how it goes??)

Tomorrow I'm going to blog about Nanny. She just called. She cracks me up. She will crack you up too. Just wait for my next blog. (Yep, started this at 6, ending at 9:12, 2 glasses of water later.)