Texas License

Some of you may or may not know that I have an excellent license picture. I'm not just saying this because I'm beautiful, I'm saying this because friends and strangers have complimented me on it: e.g. "Wow, that is a GREAT picture".

Pause: Some of you may be wondering, how did she know to use e.g instead of i.e.? I will answer this for you because before I did not know the answer and then I spent a lot of time googling until I found the perfect example of how to remember when to use which one.  IE is "that is" and EG is "for example" and in the great site I found there was a picture of an egg and it said "e.g.zample" or something like that. So, just know, when I say "e.g." I'm thinking of a fancy egg showing you examples of whatever I am talking about!

Play.

I sometimes find these compliments offensive because it always makes me think that they are thinking "WOW I can't believe she was able to take a nice picture!" Or "Wow! This is a great picture and she looks NOTHING like this in real life."

Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is my license is expiring on my birthday (Remeber the only thing I want for my birthday (besides sitting at Seacrets all weekend long) (oh, and a chocolate chocolate cake, from Blue Bonnet, with 25 roses, one for each year)  is 100 followers.) And since I'll be traveling for my birthday, well, I don't want to get caught in the airport with an expired license. So, I thought, I guess it's time to become Texas official.

I think I told you about Jackson becoming officially registered in Texas - it was a pain in the ass, but a rather quick experience once I had all of the right paperwork.  For my Texas license I've been researching and preparing and getting everything in order: Social Security Card? Check. Birth Certificate? Check. Current License? Check. Car Registration? Check. Cash or money order ONLY? Check. I am so great!

I am also SO great when I wake up before 6 (BARF) this morning to primp for my glamour shot. I mean, I've set a high bar and cannot go backwards. So I shower and dry my hair and put a so great curl to the ends with some luscious volume. Wow, it looked great and I said that out loud to myself when I was looking at myself in the mirror. I spend too much time doing natural makeup (Ladies, what the hell is that all about) and I am only 10 minutes behind schedule when I leave at 6:55. This is so great! My morning is running SO GREAT! Are you getting this??? I will arrive at the DMV (but called Department of Public Safety or something stupid in Texas) 20 minutes before it opens, I've blocked off 90 minutes at work to wait, I'll become Texas official and my life will be amazing and my to do list will be shorter.

I had everything planned. I arrived at the Texas DMV which is, of course, in a shopping center and not visible from the road. The more I drive around the shopping center, the shadier the building comes. Not shady like "oh wow, this will protect my so fair skin from harsh UV rays!" but shady like "where the hell am I right now?". And then I see it.... at 7:10... AT LEAST 50 people lined up outside and wrapping around the building. I literally had to pick my mouth up off the floor. That is UNBELIEVABLE! (Not inbelievable - because I could NOT believe it!).

I drive back to work totally flustered that this great hair and natural makeup is going to waste for WORK. I mean, please. If work was a spicy hot date, I would be ok with going in with great hair. But work (at least, my work) is not a spicy hot date and the hair was wasted.

I then learn that if I have plans to get a Texas license I should plan for at least four hours of waiting before a paper printout temporary license is issued to me before my real, actual license.

FOUR. HOURS.

Texas: Really? Four hours? FOUR? That means I'm going to have to take a day off work. (Did I not mention there are no Saturday hours?) Or I could risk an issue with airport security post my birthday and the day my license expires (and the day I get 100 followers!!!).

In AMAZING news!! Hachey is following my blog and is given follower number 77! Double lucky 7s! Woohoo! I miss you more now than ever!! I love looking at your sideways glance in your gchat picture! Oh my gosh!! I am so happy you just started following, but I had to Facebook YOU to see what was going on!! This is terrible. People, just because I tell you all about me doesn't me I automatically know all about you! You have to give me details - I love gossip and the chat chat chatting!

The 100th Post

This is my 100th post, which, unfortunately, is coming before 100 followers. My dream still remains that I will have 100 followers by my 25th birthday on the 25th of June. Sadly, I know I do not deserve 100 followers if I go one whole week without updating. Like I just did. For this, I apologize.

When I don't update for over a week, I become overwhelmed at all the things I want to tell you about myself. I'm going to organize my thoughts with numbers:

1) Dallas had a serious tornado warning the night of Dancing with the Stars Finale. This was pretty much the worst timing ever, mainly because I had waited all season for the finale and also because this tornado warning was a legit tornado warning in which I saw the start of a funnel cloud think about coming down and then going back up. Since Texas doesn't have basements (how stupid is that) instructions are to hide in the bathroom, but I don't get cable in the bathroom and I reallllllly wanted to watch the DWTS finale. I decided to sit at the kitchen table (closer to the bathroom) where I could still watch TV. I lost power and then the news took over TV (I hate weather reports) and I spent the night chatting with Jarrod who put his phone to the TV so I could hear them announce MY BOYFRIEND HINES WARD WIN DWTS!!! AMAZING!!! Since the tornado warning I have had one nightmare re: tornadoes in which I had to pick between my siblings and the family dog, Moses.  Thankfully I woke up before the actual picking began so I do not need to disclose who my choice would have been.

2) Allie and Kelly came to visit all the way from Pennsylvania. Yankee meat in the Southwest. I feel that they were thoroughly underwhelmed with Dallas which proved to be just another city to them and not a cowtown. I feel that they were totally overwhelmed with Fort Worth which proved to be everything they expected: bulls in the street and cheesy cowboy hats. Although Allie and Kelly both said they had a great time, I'm unsure if they will come back...

See, Allie and Kelly wanted to dance and left the bar we were at without my supervision and took a cab to a bar called Kinky's that I have never heard of (and will never go to). They then took a cab to "Windsor", not realizing there are many Windsors in Dallas. They ended up at a Windsor Senior Living and were then kicked out of the cab by, what seems like the cab driver from hell. There was quite a debacle to get them another cab and to the right Windsor as they were at least 20 minutes away and on the side of a fairly major highway. To truly grasp where these ladies were, I made this so great map to the right.

Allie and Kelly arrived and we went to my apartment only to discover that our troubles did not end there... Roommate Erin had beaten us home and mistakenly deadbolted the door. All of these items separate would have been very amusing, but, all at once, Allie and Kelly were not amused. (Did I mention that Roommate Erin sleeps with ear plugs?)

Anyway, lots of banging, 20 missed calls to Erin, one visit from Security and one call to maintenance and we were no more in the apartment than when we had started.  I say to Allie and Kelly let's go to a hotel (there is one just across the way) but they refuse to leave the floor. This is when I spy a boy coming off the elevator to attend the party across the hall. I ask him kindly to please kick in my door. He thinks this is a joke but I promise it is not a joke. He thinks about the proposition and then one swift kick to the door and we're in. A MIRACLE!

Other than the miracle on Ivan Street, the trip was as expected and Allie and Kelly got to sweat their balls off in the May heat wave that is Dallas and go to some standard watering holes. I think they were VERY thankful that they weren't here in July!!

3) Mom Daly totally beat her kids for the next Meet My Followers June edition. I'll be drafting all of my questions and hope to interview MD in the next week or two. If there is anything you want to know from MD (besides which child is her favorite) let me know and we'll definitely get the scoop.

4) I know there has been a lot of worry over my ankle by my followers and I thank you for the thousands of sympathy cards I have received at my home address. Your support is overwhelming. My ankle, I think, is still swollen, in my obsessive opinion. I never thought I had great ankles, but now I definitely have one ugly ankle. It hurts to really extend my foot becuse I think it pulls on a muscle. I can hear my parents now: Then STOP extending your foot!!!!! But, in my head I think this tension is going to work out all the leftover mess. Doctor Natalie, I know you aren't reading, but is that accurate? One small victory is that I can now sit indian (like the native american not the kind from Asia) style again. If you told me pre-injury just how much I sat this way, I would not believe you. But I quickly became aware how much I sat that way because it hurt when I sat that way!! Now I am aware. Get it!!???

5) I think for my big vacation at the end of the month I'm going to attempt mobile blogging with photos. This will be all the text messages and facebook uploading that you can handle all directed directly to ABCw! This will prep me for what Jarrod thinks will be my next big adventure (and what Smerritt has been waiting for his entire life): my entrance to Twitter.

Five is enough, yes?

In other great news, I have TWO new followers on my slow and steady climb to 100. Follower 75 is Nick Pinto. I think this is wonderful and, Pinto, I think we should gchat or something because I had to Facebook you to see what on earth you are doing these days. It appears, these days, you are running in the rain in a suit. Upon deciding to view photos of you on the book, you should know you are quite handsome in sepia tone. This is all I know.  76 is new friend Jay who I met at Jazz Under the Stars which is less romantic than it sounds and includes good friends, wine, temperatures in the 90s, bugs, and, obviously, jazz. Me and Jay are going to be great friends and to begin this friendship we are getting drinks this week - more on Jay later when I know it.