Welcome to the first live from Munhall blog post!!!
Not many of you know what it is like for me to come home for a few days... I'll do my best to explain my trip....
First: NO ISSUES FLYING!!! Almost an issue when annoying woman in sun hat tried to talk to me by asking "Is this plane going to DC??" and I could tell just from her STUPID question that she was going to talk to me the ENTIRE plane ride. So, instead of answering her question I gave her a smile that said "You're an idiot. And I'm not acknowleding you." and I turned my head and that was the end of that.
I got home on Wednesday and my mom, sister and Lincoln picked me up. LINCOLN IS SO DAMN CUTE YOU CAN'T EVEN STAND IT!! He is such a cuddle bug and he sat with his Auntie Megan the entire drive home and I'm SO IN LOVE WITH HIM. Even the next day when I was babysitting him and he may have done a puppy poop on the carpet... I couldn't even be mad at him and his little puppy turds. I said.. AWW LINCOLN!!! And then I said... come here, baby!! He is cute and cuter than Allie.
When my mother saw me in the light of day she was not happy with my nail polish situation. See.... I decided to purchase yellow polish. Bright yellow. But, right next to the yellow was this blue glitter.... so I got that too. But I only put glitter on my droiding nails: my thumbs (for texting) and my right pointer finger (for touch-screening). Mare did not so much like this.
Working from home was, basically, a disaster. I mean- I don't know what part of WORK FROM HOME they don't understand but pretty much the second I got on a conference call chaos breaks out. The BIGGEST chaos situation was Thursday... My dad and neighbor Bill are redoing the basement and neighbor Bill comes in while I'm on one of my calls and notices that my mother made cookies. What does Bill say? Loudly? While I'm on the phone? "NOW THAT IS THE SHITTTT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!" And I make a SHUT THE HELL UP face and point him to the basement. He sees puppy Lincoln and starts yelling "COME HERE NEW DOG! COME HERE NEW DOG". I mean, really?? Then the Edible Arrangements bouquet arrived and all humans in the vicinity flocked to the kitchen and I mean.... I need to live alone.
Friday night Allie and I went out in Southside. My Dad drove us there and on the ride there he suggested the best idea ever that would help me enhance my blog even more.... What is the best idea ever? TSHIRTS!!! So, we spent the entire drive thinking of what my Tshirt should say.... a few ideas are:
http://www.abitcattywampus.blogspot.com
Are you my husband?
rage.
You can get with this. Or you can get with that.
Cattywampus[kat-ee-wom-puhs] - adj: askew
And many others, that I am not remembering right now. Reader submissions are now being accepted. The 100th submission will recieve a free, copyrighted, abitcattywampus tshirt.
Back to Friday- we went out in Southside and Peter did not come with us but gave me one instruction: Do not be hungover for our car ride tomorrow. Ok. Whatever you say Peter. We went out with MK and Vanessa to Charlie Murdochs (which is a dueling piano bar). The pianists were not funny or enjoyable, so we went to the basement bar and raged. Cousin Kelly came by too and we enjoyed dollar drafts and there were a bunch of younger kids from my high school there. Including one of Allie's friends named Dave who has a rockin bod. Which I didn't know until Allie told me and he let me touch his chest. Is this inappropriate for a bar? I don't know. But was it rockin? Yes, I think that is the only way to describe it. Brother Matt picked us up and drove us home around 1AM or so and then before you knew it, it was 8AM and Pete was there to pick me up....
...And I was hungover. Woops. I tossed anything I thought I might need into a bag and got in the car. Pete and I had a great 4 hour car ride and he even stopped two times so I could go to the bathroom. He was SO great. He gave me all the scoop on everyone he thought I would meet and everyone he knew I would love and want to marry. I'm just going to put it out there that overall this wedding was everything I hope I never have to participate in for a wedding ever again. The two worst parts of the wedding celebration were 1) instead of doing a receiving line the bride and groom dismissed each pew individually and we had to watch them hug EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE HOTTEST CHURCH IN THE WORLD and 2) the food was terrible (awful and not enough! We went to Wegman's after everything ended.). But, the boys.... Lord! Again, Pete has all these handsome friends that are all taken NOW but I bet 2 years ago they weren't! They were all just great guys and really handsome. Everyone came attached with a date except friend Koz. (Friend Koz stayed in the hotel room with me and Pete and when he was changing he was in just his underpants and he was so handsome.) But, because Koz came without a date.... when we picked up our table numbers Koz was at table 17 but the rest of us were table 18! Table 17 was not only the loser table, but table 18 was the Penn State table. We chatted for 15 minutes about what we were going to do with Koz until he finally went over and took his entire place setting and brought it over to the ultimate table: 18. Dancing was lame at the wedding as well: it only lasted about an hour and I hated all the music. Except the two slow songs I danced cheek to cheek with Peter. His friends are definitely confused. We definitely appeared to be dating half the night, and fighting the other half. I'm pretty sure they weren't sure what was going on... but, we still had a great time all night.
Pete made us get up so early so he could pitch his baseball game that was canceled anyway. Our drive home ended up being very dangerous when a suddend down pour took away Pete's vision and we had to drive with hazard lights since we couldn't find a safe place to pull off. We spent a lot of the drive home planning our weddings (together and separate) and planning the guest list. If you've ever spoken to Pete- you're probably invited. If you've ever spoken to me- you probably aren't invited. Anyway, Pete and I discussed how confused his friends must be with if we are friends or dating or hate each other or love each other or what.... and he did the unthinkable!!! He said... NO MORE BABES! This blew my mind. I always call him babe. But, he is right. I can't ever get a husband if everyone is a babe- single men might think I'm dating Pete when we know that is not the case. SO. I am never calling anyone babe again. It's done. It's over. You aren't my babe unless you are my husband. Except the few times I'm sure that I will make a mistake and call an old babe, babe. Also. Lip kissing. Over. Gone. Done. This is my new life and approach to finding a husband. Purging all babes.
The rest of my time home so far has been just as expected- more and more chaos. But, fun. Visits with the old people (grandparents), lots of puppy playing, lots of Moses loving, more and more shopping with my mom and Allie, lots of Mad Men repeats and even more Bravo TV including Bethenny Getting Married and New Jersey Housewives. I've also spent a lot of time in my sister's room because she has a bigger TV and that cute puppy I keep talking about. Oh, and because tonight we're going to make an online dating profile for me...
More to come. (PS: I'm not rereading this and spell check isn't working so who knows WHAT I really wrote up there...)
7/26/2010
7/15/2010
i need to clean my apartment..
Terribly. I keep making piles all over the place but not putting anything away. Dishes? Pile. Clothes? Pile. Jewels? Pile. Random crap I don't know where I got it? Pile. But what am I doing? Enjoying canned green beans and blogging.
Since I'm pretty positive my husband isn't reading this I'm going to share, actually, over-share the next bit of information. The second week of June I got a blemish on my chest. Let's first talk about how I'm 21 and 3 years and STILL getting a blemish. GOD!! Seriously- GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME?? STOP IT!!!! But, because I'm trying to be beauty savy- I didn't pick at it and just let it go. What does it do? It turns into a black and blue disaster! I mean, it's low enough that it doesn't show in regular work gear- but it is STILL ANNOYING. This is a 6 week issue and counting. What happens two weeks ago? I GET ONE ON MY FOREHEAD. I mean... MY BEAUTIFUL FOREHEAD!!!! I must have angered the gods or something. I don't know. It is obviously cover-able by makeup (thank you BareMinerals) but it is STILL THERE. So I decide that this is very odd that I'm getting these two... growths... that I've never had before, so I made an appointment to go to the doctor.
The doctor puts me in her system as "skin lesion" which is offensive for obvious reasons. And then she asks me all those standard doctor questions AND THEN we get to the issue at hand. She keeps looking at me and poking the growths and I ask her "are we sure they are blemishes or are they tumors?". She said that's a little extreme and I should just give it another week or two. I asked her if she understood that I have already waited a week or two three times and she did but she also thought that I should still give it two more weeks. So, after spending 30 minutes at the doctor what do I know now that I didn't know before? Nothing. Except that I'm going to need to get bangs and I can't wear a ponytail. I love high ponies too. Gosh.
I called my grandma after work today to tell her about my medical emergency. I explained the entire devastating situation and my fear that if it never goes away I will never get a husband. She agreed that it is possible I will never get a husband and that she was upset about me "losing" my "beautiful face". Thanks for the support, grandma.
Then we changed the conversation to the missing diamonds. Remember how I said they were lost twice and found twice? Correction: lost twice, found once. She's very upset over the lost diamonds (obviously) and can't wait for me to come home and help her look for them (I can't wait). I asked her if she's been praying to Saint Francis? And she said - no, it's St Anthony. Gosh - I had to retell her about the first time she found the diamonds: She found a St Francis charm in her couch cushion when she was looking for the diamonds so she started wearing it and praying to St Francis and promised him $100 if he found the rings for her. Well, he found them. She wrote the letter to his church in Italy because she is positive he performed a miracle for her and she wanted to follow up on her $100 promise. I retell her the story and she starts remembering it and she says "Oh my gosh, Megan, you won't believe it....". While searching for the diamonds this time around she apparently re-found the SAME St Francis medal. Another miracle. She quickly hung up the phone with me to go put the medal on a chain, wear it, pray to him and search again for her diamonds.
Before she hung up, I suggested that once the diamonds were found she gives them to me for safe keeping. I mean- it's only logical at this point. Especially if she finds them by praying to St Francis which she only knew to do because I was the number one grandchild that reminded her.
It's a rough life being the favorite. A rough life is also having to clean your apartment...
Since I'm pretty positive my husband isn't reading this I'm going to share, actually, over-share the next bit of information. The second week of June I got a blemish on my chest. Let's first talk about how I'm 21 and 3 years and STILL getting a blemish. GOD!! Seriously- GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME?? STOP IT!!!! But, because I'm trying to be beauty savy- I didn't pick at it and just let it go. What does it do? It turns into a black and blue disaster! I mean, it's low enough that it doesn't show in regular work gear- but it is STILL ANNOYING. This is a 6 week issue and counting. What happens two weeks ago? I GET ONE ON MY FOREHEAD. I mean... MY BEAUTIFUL FOREHEAD!!!! I must have angered the gods or something. I don't know. It is obviously cover-able by makeup (thank you BareMinerals) but it is STILL THERE. So I decide that this is very odd that I'm getting these two... growths... that I've never had before, so I made an appointment to go to the doctor.
The doctor puts me in her system as "skin lesion" which is offensive for obvious reasons. And then she asks me all those standard doctor questions AND THEN we get to the issue at hand. She keeps looking at me and poking the growths and I ask her "are we sure they are blemishes or are they tumors?". She said that's a little extreme and I should just give it another week or two. I asked her if she understood that I have already waited a week or two three times and she did but she also thought that I should still give it two more weeks. So, after spending 30 minutes at the doctor what do I know now that I didn't know before? Nothing. Except that I'm going to need to get bangs and I can't wear a ponytail. I love high ponies too. Gosh.
I called my grandma after work today to tell her about my medical emergency. I explained the entire devastating situation and my fear that if it never goes away I will never get a husband. She agreed that it is possible I will never get a husband and that she was upset about me "losing" my "beautiful face". Thanks for the support, grandma.
Then we changed the conversation to the missing diamonds. Remember how I said they were lost twice and found twice? Correction: lost twice, found once. She's very upset over the lost diamonds (obviously) and can't wait for me to come home and help her look for them (I can't wait). I asked her if she's been praying to Saint Francis? And she said - no, it's St Anthony. Gosh - I had to retell her about the first time she found the diamonds: She found a St Francis charm in her couch cushion when she was looking for the diamonds so she started wearing it and praying to St Francis and promised him $100 if he found the rings for her. Well, he found them. She wrote the letter to his church in Italy because she is positive he performed a miracle for her and she wanted to follow up on her $100 promise. I retell her the story and she starts remembering it and she says "Oh my gosh, Megan, you won't believe it....". While searching for the diamonds this time around she apparently re-found the SAME St Francis medal. Another miracle. She quickly hung up the phone with me to go put the medal on a chain, wear it, pray to him and search again for her diamonds.
Before she hung up, I suggested that once the diamonds were found she gives them to me for safe keeping. I mean- it's only logical at this point. Especially if she finds them by praying to St Francis which she only knew to do because I was the number one grandchild that reminded her.
It's a rough life being the favorite. A rough life is also having to clean your apartment...
7/13/2010
I still hate bugs
I don't know if my heart is in this post... so we'll see how it goes. It should go great since (not bragging or anything) I'd consider the funeral post a mild success. I wanted to actually start this blog with some funny play on words about death, but I couldn't think of anything. I then googled it- and that didn't quite go as planned (there are some weird things out there). And then a lot of people suggested things about my funeral blog and I wanted to comment on them.... but half the time I'm not listening to you people so I don't remember everything that was said to me.
Things I do remember:
1) I'm not playing On Eagle's Wings at my funeral. I don't care if it will get me "maximum tears" - I'm just not into it and I'm not playing it.
2) When I have new guests at my home in Munhall, I have introduced them to Tucker and Lacey. Silence is mandatory until you make the sign of the cross.... then you are expected to say a few words in memory of the lost dogs. All while Moses sits at your feet thinking Tucker and Lacey are some treat or chew toy you're going to give him. Sidenote- I was curious if Moses would actually EAT Tucker's ashes so, Mom, close your eyes, I did maybe lower the ashes to Moses once and he might have tried to take them from my hands. So, yes, Moses would actually try to EAT Tucker. I don't do that anymore though- it's out of my system.
Welcome new follower (actually old follower but now she's public): LFS or Leigh as some as you know her. I don't know when the friends and I got into initials- but I dig it. Leigh makes the very short list of grown up friends I have that live alone. If you haven't lived alone yet, or aren't sure if you'll like it- DO IT. My ideal situation is obviously to get a husband. But- if I could get a husband that had his own house? Glorious.
Other things going on in my life right now: Work. It comes in waves and this wave has given me the chance to work with MS Visio. Have you ever used it?? I'm IN LOVE. I mean, Excel will always be my first love (and a spreadsheet will probably be the only baby I ever have) but Visio is super cool so I've just been playing with that at work. I had to get into the Visio because my ultimate work time chatters (Kim and Ashley) were out of the office. Which is terrible. I hate when they vacation at the same time and I don't have anyone to discuss monumental work moments with. But... I have my ways. Last Friday was the WORST though. There were bugs in the bathroom.
From: Miller, Megan L
Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 9:57 AM
To: Netz, Ashley M; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: BUG
HUGE BUG IN THE BATHROOM!
OMG. My heart is pounding. I was in the bathroom and I was buttoning my jeans (woohoo Friday) and I turned around to flush the toilet and out of the corner of my eye I see something black move and I think (mid flush) "was that a bug?" CONFIRMED! I had to muffle my scream since I am at work- It was like a horror movie- I could not get the stall door open fast enough and I'm internally freaking but externally quietly running away like a mad woman! SO. SCARY. HEART. POUNDING. I washed my hands (of course) very fast and the entire time I was prancing up and down sp afraid the bug would sneak up on me. I don't know what I would have done if someone came in.
Actually. I probably would have said "BUG!" and left in a hurry.
It was like a grasshopper but not as long and all black. AND RED EYES. And it was so scary and gross.
That was SO SCARY. It took me at least two more hours to calm down.... and then....
From: Miller, Megan L
Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 12:57 PM
To: Netz, Ashley M ; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: RE: BUG
I swear to God- there are two of them in there!!!!
I went back to the bathroom and I was looking around the stall before I sat down because I had to be safe and I SAW ONE! So I left the stall (pants unbuttoned) and started creeping in the other stalls- I wanted to be far enough away but also make sure there wasn't another one- BUT THERE WAS.
So I had to take a middle stall and I was inspecting that one and all of a sudden the BR is the place to be - so I'm looking in the stall (pants still unbuttoned), pushing doors open and looking on the ground and I was forced to take a stall so as not to further embarrass myself. WELL. ONE OF THE BUGS WAS LOOKING AT ME FROM THE OTHER STALL.
It was all I could do not to scream. I QUICKLY washed my hands and ran out of the bathroom. I'm still jumpy sitting at my desk. No more bathroom for me today- I'd sooner go home then go back in there!!! THE BR OF BUGS!!! Omg I wish you could have seen them. They were mini grasshoppers or GIANT FLIES! Red eyes. I swear it.
I hate bugs. All kinds of bugs. And when I am most VULNERABLE WITH MY PANTS DOWN THEY ARE GOING TO FIND ME???!!!!!!! It's terrible. You would think that they would share some sympathy with me when they got back in the office, true? False.
From: Netz, Ashley M
Sent: Monday, July 12, 2010 9:17 AM
To: Miller, Megan L; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: RE: BUG
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! OMG!! I am cracking up!!
Is this what the bug looked like???
No sympathy. Disgusting, Ashley. But that is exactly what I found in the bathroom.
Is anyone excited about the addition of pictures to my blog???? I HAD to. She uploaded a VIDEO to her blog. I mean- I can't compete with that. If you haven't been reading Hebner's blog: she's been cursed by a lizard and she doesn't have a kitchen. Oh, and she's video blogging. Kids these days and their gadgets...
One final bit of work news: I joined the Safety Committee. Yes I joined this solely because of Dwight Scrhute (no he isn't on my committee). I have even become the Chairperson of the committee which means I get to present notes prepared by someone else during other meetings with facilities people. I. Cannot. Wait. There was no formal agenda to today's initial meeting, but it went something like this:
1) Small talk (Aida does not have pink eye, but she did have eye surgery on Friday. Leon said Friday is the worst day to have surgery. Aida believes that because her doctor did not give her an RX and it feels like there were 4 eye lashes in her eye poking her. Tim can't imagine 4 eyelashes in his eye because just one and he stops working. Joann didn't want to sidetrack the group but she HAD to tell this story: She was really fatigued and started losing her balance. So she went to the doctor and thought she had an ear infection. When the doctor looked in her ear, do you know what he found?? AN EYELASH!!! AN EYELASH GAVE HER ALL THOSE PROBLEMS!!! And, oh my gosh, as soon as he got that eyelash out- well, she was all better! Then the entire group was totally amazed that JUST an eyelash could cause this problem!!)
2) Assignments (I became the chairperson but apparently I don't even have to take notes or send the emails. I just have to be listed as "Do you have questions? Email Megan Miller!")
3) Current Safety Hazards (You are not allowed small heaters at your desk. But you are allowed fans and radios. During a mass evacuation it is suggested that women remove their high heels to prevent falling down the steps. The flagstone is very pretty on the walk way but causes some people tripping issues when coming into work. Sometimes there are spills in the stairway by the cafeteria. These items will be monitored closely.)
4) Next steps (Check your floor. Meet again in August.)
I'll tell you- it's worth working in a field office for the small talk- if you're in the right mood. Although, Plano isn't as great for the reality TV small talk as Chattanooga was. OH AND- COME ON- The Bachelorette last night? SNORE FEST. I've read every spoiler I can get my hands on, I know what happens, the (epi)sodes are so boring... and still, I continue to watch - live. Inbelievable. When will I learn?
Things I do remember:
1) I'm not playing On Eagle's Wings at my funeral. I don't care if it will get me "maximum tears" - I'm just not into it and I'm not playing it.
2) When I have new guests at my home in Munhall, I have introduced them to Tucker and Lacey. Silence is mandatory until you make the sign of the cross.... then you are expected to say a few words in memory of the lost dogs. All while Moses sits at your feet thinking Tucker and Lacey are some treat or chew toy you're going to give him. Sidenote- I was curious if Moses would actually EAT Tucker's ashes so, Mom, close your eyes, I did maybe lower the ashes to Moses once and he might have tried to take them from my hands. So, yes, Moses would actually try to EAT Tucker. I don't do that anymore though- it's out of my system.
Welcome new follower (actually old follower but now she's public): LFS or Leigh as some as you know her. I don't know when the friends and I got into initials- but I dig it. Leigh makes the very short list of grown up friends I have that live alone. If you haven't lived alone yet, or aren't sure if you'll like it- DO IT. My ideal situation is obviously to get a husband. But- if I could get a husband that had his own house? Glorious.
Other things going on in my life right now: Work. It comes in waves and this wave has given me the chance to work with MS Visio. Have you ever used it?? I'm IN LOVE. I mean, Excel will always be my first love (and a spreadsheet will probably be the only baby I ever have) but Visio is super cool so I've just been playing with that at work. I had to get into the Visio because my ultimate work time chatters (Kim and Ashley) were out of the office. Which is terrible. I hate when they vacation at the same time and I don't have anyone to discuss monumental work moments with. But... I have my ways. Last Friday was the WORST though. There were bugs in the bathroom.
From: Miller, Megan L
Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 9:57 AM
To: Netz, Ashley M; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: BUG
HUGE BUG IN THE BATHROOM!
OMG. My heart is pounding. I was in the bathroom and I was buttoning my jeans (woohoo Friday) and I turned around to flush the toilet and out of the corner of my eye I see something black move and I think (mid flush) "was that a bug?" CONFIRMED! I had to muffle my scream since I am at work- It was like a horror movie- I could not get the stall door open fast enough and I'm internally freaking but externally quietly running away like a mad woman! SO. SCARY. HEART. POUNDING. I washed my hands (of course) very fast and the entire time I was prancing up and down sp afraid the bug would sneak up on me. I don't know what I would have done if someone came in.
Actually. I probably would have said "BUG!" and left in a hurry.
It was like a grasshopper but not as long and all black. AND RED EYES. And it was so scary and gross.
That was SO SCARY. It took me at least two more hours to calm down.... and then....
From: Miller, Megan L
Sent: Friday, July 09, 2010 12:57 PM
To: Netz, Ashley M ; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: RE: BUG
I swear to God- there are two of them in there!!!!
I went back to the bathroom and I was looking around the stall before I sat down because I had to be safe and I SAW ONE! So I left the stall (pants unbuttoned) and started creeping in the other stalls- I wanted to be far enough away but also make sure there wasn't another one- BUT THERE WAS.
So I had to take a middle stall and I was inspecting that one and all of a sudden the BR is the place to be - so I'm looking in the stall (pants still unbuttoned), pushing doors open and looking on the ground and I was forced to take a stall so as not to further embarrass myself. WELL. ONE OF THE BUGS WAS LOOKING AT ME FROM THE OTHER STALL.
It was all I could do not to scream. I QUICKLY washed my hands and ran out of the bathroom. I'm still jumpy sitting at my desk. No more bathroom for me today- I'd sooner go home then go back in there!!! THE BR OF BUGS!!! Omg I wish you could have seen them. They were mini grasshoppers or GIANT FLIES! Red eyes. I swear it.
I hate bugs. All kinds of bugs. And when I am most VULNERABLE WITH MY PANTS DOWN THEY ARE GOING TO FIND ME???!!!!!!! It's terrible. You would think that they would share some sympathy with me when they got back in the office, true? False.
From: Netz, Ashley M
Sent: Monday, July 12, 2010 9:17 AM
To: Miller, Megan L; Leidy, Kimberly R
Subject: RE: BUG
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! OMG!! I am cracking up!!
Is this what the bug looked like???
No sympathy. Disgusting, Ashley. But that is exactly what I found in the bathroom.
Is anyone excited about the addition of pictures to my blog???? I HAD to. She uploaded a VIDEO to her blog. I mean- I can't compete with that. If you haven't been reading Hebner's blog: she's been cursed by a lizard and she doesn't have a kitchen. Oh, and she's video blogging. Kids these days and their gadgets...
One final bit of work news: I joined the Safety Committee. Yes I joined this solely because of Dwight Scrhute (no he isn't on my committee). I have even become the Chairperson of the committee which means I get to present notes prepared by someone else during other meetings with facilities people. I. Cannot. Wait. There was no formal agenda to today's initial meeting, but it went something like this:
1) Small talk (Aida does not have pink eye, but she did have eye surgery on Friday. Leon said Friday is the worst day to have surgery. Aida believes that because her doctor did not give her an RX and it feels like there were 4 eye lashes in her eye poking her. Tim can't imagine 4 eyelashes in his eye because just one and he stops working. Joann didn't want to sidetrack the group but she HAD to tell this story: She was really fatigued and started losing her balance. So she went to the doctor and thought she had an ear infection. When the doctor looked in her ear, do you know what he found?? AN EYELASH!!! AN EYELASH GAVE HER ALL THOSE PROBLEMS!!! And, oh my gosh, as soon as he got that eyelash out- well, she was all better! Then the entire group was totally amazed that JUST an eyelash could cause this problem!!)
2) Assignments (I became the chairperson but apparently I don't even have to take notes or send the emails. I just have to be listed as "Do you have questions? Email Megan Miller!")
3) Current Safety Hazards (You are not allowed small heaters at your desk. But you are allowed fans and radios. During a mass evacuation it is suggested that women remove their high heels to prevent falling down the steps. The flagstone is very pretty on the walk way but causes some people tripping issues when coming into work. Sometimes there are spills in the stairway by the cafeteria. These items will be monitored closely.)
4) Next steps (Check your floor. Meet again in August.)
I'll tell you- it's worth working in a field office for the small talk- if you're in the right mood. Although, Plano isn't as great for the reality TV small talk as Chattanooga was. OH AND- COME ON- The Bachelorette last night? SNORE FEST. I've read every spoiler I can get my hands on, I know what happens, the (epi)sodes are so boring... and still, I continue to watch - live. Inbelievable. When will I learn?
7/08/2010
my funeral details - in case you miss it
Morbid? Whatever... we'll get to my funeral in a minute.
So I got a new follower, but I also got schooled from Harper on how this damn blogging thing works. Apparently there are so many levels of google blogger reader subscriber follower I can't even get my head around it. But- she gave me a great hint (feed counter or something) and a little reprimand (I should blog for myself not for you people) and I guess that means that will be the end of the subject. (For now). So- I'll try to do just what Harper told me to do and.... well, no other ands. That's it.
BUT I did get a new follower- Kim's sister Sarah. See- that I was not expecting. Do you see why I like to know my audience?? (Sarah- your sister is the 24 year old friend with gas.) Oh shoot, sorry, Kim.
Back to my funeral- My family, bless their hearts, does some weird - scratch that - different things. One of my favorite things is when they celebrate the birthday's of deceased relatives- cake included. I love cake and give all of you permission to celebrate my birthday when I'm dead- but only if it's chocolate/chocolate. Or funfetti. And you should get as many roses on it as I am old. I don't remember the last time we did this (Tennessee and Texas puts me off the invite list for birthday celebrations)- but I think it's a great idea. My mom said we can do it for her birthday too.
Funeral/will planning is discussed more than you'd think in my family... When my Grandma sold "our" (really, her's and Poppy's) cabin in the mountains (Ligoneir anyone?) she then bought a very nice diamond. This has turned quite a few after holiday dinner discussions to "What do I get when you're dead?". My grandma says my mother gets the ring over her "cold, dead body" and then I will get the ring over my mother's "cold, dead body". This is why I need a husband to buy me big diamonds- I don't have time to wait around for cold, dead bodies to get me some diamonds! Also, grandma may or may not be entering a phase where she... hmm.... misplaces things. The diamond has been misplaced twice...... (and found twice (Thanks Saint Francis!!-- and, I know it's usually Saint Anthony for lost items, but that's an entirely different story.).
When wills come up- funerals usually come up. I'd say there are some pretty standard funeral songs in my family. Either during or after a funeral someone (me, my mom or my sister) will say which songs the other ones can play at her funeral. I'd say we're all pretty set on Here I Am Lord (I still can't hear that song without getting a little emotional). Lately I've been into the Prayer of Saint Francis, Ave Maria and Hail Mary, Gentle Woman. Another common one is Let There Be Peace on Earth- however, my mother does not want peace on earth if she is not here for it - so she doesn't want that one at her funeral. I like that reason and also do not want it played at my funeral either. I guess I have some time to think about this- but that's where I am right now.
Oh! Also- don't cremate me. And cry a lot at my actual funeral, but eat good food after my funeral. And remember- cake, always, on my birthday. Except the first birthday- you should still be sick with grief then and not eating. Oh, and I guess my future husband should know I plan on dying after him.
My mother has some other special requests for her funeral that are... well.. you decide:
The family dogs were always Shih Tzus. We had Abbey (black and white), Tucker (brown and white) and Lacey (step sister to Tucker also brown and white). Abbey my parents got when they were sans children and then had her while we were children until a terrible storm came along, spooked Abbey and she ran away and got hit by a car and died. My dad rescued her body and we got to say goodbye to Abbey and then we wrapped her in a blanket made by great grandma (don't tell grandma) and buried her in the back yard. Then we got Tucker and then Lacey a few years later. My mom loved all dogs, but she definitely loved Tucker the most. And when Tucker died... well... it was a very sad time. I got a call from my mom a few days later telling me she read an article in the paper and she was having Tucker cremated. This was weird to me but I didn't say anything. When I came back from college for the summer break my mother came out of the house to give me a hug and then she got very quiet and said "Did you want to see Tucker?". I was then introduced to cremated tucker- he's in a nice, green felt bag that has a bow and a ribbon and a poem and a lock of his hair. He was in the dining room and is now in the living room.
My mother then told me she wanted Tucker in her casket with her. I thought she was kidding- but she was not. I thought this was weird so I agreed to NOT DO IT. For those of you who don't know, Munhall is a small town and my mother knows the undertaker. Since she didn't trust me to carry out a dying wish, she told the undertaker not to put her under the ground unless Tucker was in there with her. Weird? Yes. So now Lacey has also passed, and been cremated- and how can my mother put one dog in there but not the other? So now we're to TWO dogs. AND THEN we got a Golden Retriever. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT BAG OF ASHES IS GOING TO BE? I assume she'll want Moses in there too- and who ever else we end up getting along the way.
I guess I will put all the ashes in her casket- but I'm not putting them down by her feet. I'm going to put them up by her pillow so everyone can see them. Oh, and Mom, if you're reading this- I don't think we're going to put you down there with any really good jewelry either, ok?
I just got a little carried away with funeral arrangements- didn't I? Back to more important things- the blog. It seems you people like it when I bitch, moan, whine, complain and get to the true spirit of things. I can definitely continue that- but, you must understand that my "tote mis" level has been significantly dropped since leaving Chattanooga. Also, I think bitching, moaning, whining and complaining is not my most charming side and may deter me from getting a husband- this is a major concern for obvious and previously stated reasons (I want one.) Nonetheless, I'll do my best to continually come up with THINGS I HATE and tell you about them (if you've even made it this far). And, since in my last blog I put myself in direct competition with Miss Hebner's blog (not that she asked for it or even knows that I'm doing it) but- anyway, she has a new background AND pictures! Damn her... I'll never catch up.
So I got a new follower, but I also got schooled from Harper on how this damn blogging thing works. Apparently there are so many levels of google blogger reader subscriber follower I can't even get my head around it. But- she gave me a great hint (feed counter or something) and a little reprimand (I should blog for myself not for you people) and I guess that means that will be the end of the subject. (For now). So- I'll try to do just what Harper told me to do and.... well, no other ands. That's it.
BUT I did get a new follower- Kim's sister Sarah. See- that I was not expecting. Do you see why I like to know my audience?? (Sarah- your sister is the 24 year old friend with gas.) Oh shoot, sorry, Kim.
Back to my funeral- My family, bless their hearts, does some weird - scratch that - different things. One of my favorite things is when they celebrate the birthday's of deceased relatives- cake included. I love cake and give all of you permission to celebrate my birthday when I'm dead- but only if it's chocolate/chocolate. Or funfetti. And you should get as many roses on it as I am old. I don't remember the last time we did this (Tennessee and Texas puts me off the invite list for birthday celebrations)- but I think it's a great idea. My mom said we can do it for her birthday too.
Funeral/will planning is discussed more than you'd think in my family... When my Grandma sold "our" (really, her's and Poppy's) cabin in the mountains (Ligoneir anyone?) she then bought a very nice diamond. This has turned quite a few after holiday dinner discussions to "What do I get when you're dead?". My grandma says my mother gets the ring over her "cold, dead body" and then I will get the ring over my mother's "cold, dead body". This is why I need a husband to buy me big diamonds- I don't have time to wait around for cold, dead bodies to get me some diamonds! Also, grandma may or may not be entering a phase where she... hmm.... misplaces things. The diamond has been misplaced twice...... (and found twice (Thanks Saint Francis!!-- and, I know it's usually Saint Anthony for lost items, but that's an entirely different story.).
When wills come up- funerals usually come up. I'd say there are some pretty standard funeral songs in my family. Either during or after a funeral someone (me, my mom or my sister) will say which songs the other ones can play at her funeral. I'd say we're all pretty set on Here I Am Lord (I still can't hear that song without getting a little emotional). Lately I've been into the Prayer of Saint Francis, Ave Maria and Hail Mary, Gentle Woman. Another common one is Let There Be Peace on Earth- however, my mother does not want peace on earth if she is not here for it - so she doesn't want that one at her funeral. I like that reason and also do not want it played at my funeral either. I guess I have some time to think about this- but that's where I am right now.
Oh! Also- don't cremate me. And cry a lot at my actual funeral, but eat good food after my funeral. And remember- cake, always, on my birthday. Except the first birthday- you should still be sick with grief then and not eating. Oh, and I guess my future husband should know I plan on dying after him.
My mother has some other special requests for her funeral that are... well.. you decide:
The family dogs were always Shih Tzus. We had Abbey (black and white), Tucker (brown and white) and Lacey (step sister to Tucker also brown and white). Abbey my parents got when they were sans children and then had her while we were children until a terrible storm came along, spooked Abbey and she ran away and got hit by a car and died. My dad rescued her body and we got to say goodbye to Abbey and then we wrapped her in a blanket made by great grandma (don't tell grandma) and buried her in the back yard. Then we got Tucker and then Lacey a few years later. My mom loved all dogs, but she definitely loved Tucker the most. And when Tucker died... well... it was a very sad time. I got a call from my mom a few days later telling me she read an article in the paper and she was having Tucker cremated. This was weird to me but I didn't say anything. When I came back from college for the summer break my mother came out of the house to give me a hug and then she got very quiet and said "Did you want to see Tucker?". I was then introduced to cremated tucker- he's in a nice, green felt bag that has a bow and a ribbon and a poem and a lock of his hair. He was in the dining room and is now in the living room.
My mother then told me she wanted Tucker in her casket with her. I thought she was kidding- but she was not. I thought this was weird so I agreed to NOT DO IT. For those of you who don't know, Munhall is a small town and my mother knows the undertaker. Since she didn't trust me to carry out a dying wish, she told the undertaker not to put her under the ground unless Tucker was in there with her. Weird? Yes. So now Lacey has also passed, and been cremated- and how can my mother put one dog in there but not the other? So now we're to TWO dogs. AND THEN we got a Golden Retriever. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT BAG OF ASHES IS GOING TO BE? I assume she'll want Moses in there too- and who ever else we end up getting along the way.
I guess I will put all the ashes in her casket- but I'm not putting them down by her feet. I'm going to put them up by her pillow so everyone can see them. Oh, and Mom, if you're reading this- I don't think we're going to put you down there with any really good jewelry either, ok?
I just got a little carried away with funeral arrangements- didn't I? Back to more important things- the blog. It seems you people like it when I bitch, moan, whine, complain and get to the true spirit of things. I can definitely continue that- but, you must understand that my "tote mis" level has been significantly dropped since leaving Chattanooga. Also, I think bitching, moaning, whining and complaining is not my most charming side and may deter me from getting a husband- this is a major concern for obvious and previously stated reasons (I want one.) Nonetheless, I'll do my best to continually come up with THINGS I HATE and tell you about them (if you've even made it this far). And, since in my last blog I put myself in direct competition with Miss Hebner's blog (not that she asked for it or even knows that I'm doing it) but- anyway, she has a new background AND pictures! Damn her... I'll never catch up.
7/06/2010
i've never pregamed church before
I was doing some... reflecting... on my blog. Boy have I been busy since getting to Plano. But- in being busy, I think that I've lost part of my blog that really helps me cope- a free outlet to do incessant whining and or obsessing over trivial things. So, from here on out I'll still give you recaps, but I'm going to try to make sure I get in one or two (or three or four) good rants- and if you don't want to read it... WELL I DON'T CARE BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY AREN'T EVEN FOLLOWING ME ANYWAY.
So let's start with that- following. I don't know WHY THE HELL you people aren't following me. Are you thinking "Why is she bitching? She's got 32 followers!" - well, I'll tell you why- because I know there are a few more of you out there. Even LFS is doing this secret following thing that I can't even figure out. Many of you are loud non-followers (aka tell me you read but won't follow) and I hate you for that. I like to know things- I like to know ALL things. And I JUST WANT TO KNOW who is reading. So now you're thinking "well if I'm a loud non-follower, then you obviously know I'm reading". In that case, I think you are just rude. And don't even leave a smart comment, Rohrbach, I won't tolerate it anymore!!!!!! ALSO! Emily Hebner's blog has more followers than me and she's been going at this... what? 5 days? Double rude. Nothing against you Miss Hebner, of course. She's probably not even reading this because she isn't a follower.. oh wait, that probably means she is reading it. But seriously, I can't even understand what an ajeen is or whatever she writes about but I follow her. It's called support. Show some.
Girlfriend Sarah is showing some by being my newest follower- welcome. Sarah wasn't following the blog from the beginning (when I started blogging about her) but even now that she does follow she isn't totally creeped out by my blogging about her and her not knowing. This is the true measure of girlfriends- how much your creep factor sticks out and they still stick around. We are so romantic.
Other things I hate? We'll get back to that...
I spent some time with Ashley's family for a 50th wedding anniversary that they were having for Uncle Bill and Auntie Donna. I got to meet so much family and pretend I was one of them all weekend. Holy cow are they a wild bunch. They are everything I imagined a midwestern family to be- including coolers and coolers of bud light and a Grandma too sweet that you aren't quite sure how she got mixed up with them. The family was SO FUN and all I wanted to do was work my way into #1 grandchild spot and work Ashley to the curb. Friday was a BBQ, Saturday was the 50th wedding mass and dinner and Sunday was a raging pool party. I won't go into details because, again, I won't be able to do it justice- but some highlights were:
1) Uncle Bill shared with me how he knew Auntie Donna was the one. He said that he actually didn't, but she had known since 6th grade and he listened to her. He said as long as "she" knows, that's enough. I'm going to try to apply this theory.
1a) Uncle Bill was a highlight of the weekend. He told me that I should never buy my own diamonds and then he lip kissed me! Less creepy than that actually comes across while reading... but still that's pretty much how it happened. He was jamming and dancing out to Black Eyed Peas with his grandkids and his suspenders. The next day Uncle Bill was a little slower going but told me that I looked very nice with next to nothing on (swimsuit). I totally know why Auntie Donna knew he was the one- he probably charmed the pants right off of her! That Uncle Bill....
2) Jello shots and kegs are not just for college parties- they are for grown ups too. 200 jello shots shaped like an American flag, however, show more effort than you would see at a college party.
2a) In addition to the wild drinks at the pool party... we may or may not have pregamed church on Saturday. I have never done this before- and definitely not with adult supervision and encouragement- but, well, we did. I wasn't buzzed or anything for church BUT I did have a Miller Lite or two (ok, maybe three, I'm not sure) with all the Aunties and Uncles while Grandma was there! Oh, and even though it was a happy celebration, they sang most of the songs I want to have sung at my funeral. (Is that morbid? I think in other families that might be morbid, but I've spent plenty of time discussing arrangements for me, my mom and my sister. Maybe that's another post....)
3) Ultimate pool game can be achieved with about 8 players with ages ranging from 13 to 45 when you have an in-ground pool and a diving board. The game is called "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again". This was ultimate fun. And lasted 2 hours. I consistently got 3s and could never make a good splash even when i tried to jump SO HIGH. I was so down with the "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again" that when jumping in I actually was injured- I split my lip!! But, I did not cry and I did not give up- I got an ice cube and kept going. I also hurt myself when playing "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again" when I was showing off my upper body strength by pulling myself out of the pool sans ladder. This may or may not have result in skinned knees from the concrete during my first attempt. (I used the stairs after that.)
4) I cannot move to an area of the country that does not have a Chik-Fil-A. It seems terrible, but it also seems that you appreciate it more when you find one. I'm glad I have plenty of CFA's in my reach here in Texas.
5) Ashley got crabby on Sunday night and definitely gave me an opportunity to make headway on becoming the #1 grandchild since I was obviously NOT crabby. Even when we parted on Monday she texted later saying that the family was STILL talking about how great I was. Surprised? I'm not.
Other great things happened but I'm not going to waste your time with that...
Apparently now that I'm 21 and 3 years, I'm getting very old. I think I have heartburn!!! I've never had heartburn before so I really don't even know what it is... BUT- I was never aware of my esophagus before and yesterday evening and even this morning, I'm very aware of my esophagus. I can't explain it... but I think I'm going to call it heartburn and maybe have my second ever in life Tums today after work if I'm still aware of my esophagus. Has anyone else turned 24 and gotten heartburn?? A friend who I assume will want to remain anonymous says that in her 24 years of old age vegetables have started to give her gas.
In grown up news: I'm saving for a washer and dryer but Macy's keeps getting in the way. Maybe in another 6 months?....
Last but not least for today: I'm going to see Twilight this week. I'm rereading the book to prepare for the movie and I CANNOT WAIT. CANNOT! WAIT!
So let's start with that- following. I don't know WHY THE HELL you people aren't following me. Are you thinking "Why is she bitching? She's got 32 followers!" - well, I'll tell you why- because I know there are a few more of you out there. Even LFS is doing this secret following thing that I can't even figure out. Many of you are loud non-followers (aka tell me you read but won't follow) and I hate you for that. I like to know things- I like to know ALL things. And I JUST WANT TO KNOW who is reading. So now you're thinking "well if I'm a loud non-follower, then you obviously know I'm reading". In that case, I think you are just rude. And don't even leave a smart comment, Rohrbach, I won't tolerate it anymore!!!!!! ALSO! Emily Hebner's blog has more followers than me and she's been going at this... what? 5 days? Double rude. Nothing against you Miss Hebner, of course. She's probably not even reading this because she isn't a follower.. oh wait, that probably means she is reading it. But seriously, I can't even understand what an ajeen is or whatever she writes about but I follow her. It's called support. Show some.
Girlfriend Sarah is showing some by being my newest follower- welcome. Sarah wasn't following the blog from the beginning (when I started blogging about her) but even now that she does follow she isn't totally creeped out by my blogging about her and her not knowing. This is the true measure of girlfriends- how much your creep factor sticks out and they still stick around. We are so romantic.
Other things I hate? We'll get back to that...
I spent some time with Ashley's family for a 50th wedding anniversary that they were having for Uncle Bill and Auntie Donna. I got to meet so much family and pretend I was one of them all weekend. Holy cow are they a wild bunch. They are everything I imagined a midwestern family to be- including coolers and coolers of bud light and a Grandma too sweet that you aren't quite sure how she got mixed up with them. The family was SO FUN and all I wanted to do was work my way into #1 grandchild spot and work Ashley to the curb. Friday was a BBQ, Saturday was the 50th wedding mass and dinner and Sunday was a raging pool party. I won't go into details because, again, I won't be able to do it justice- but some highlights were:
1) Uncle Bill shared with me how he knew Auntie Donna was the one. He said that he actually didn't, but she had known since 6th grade and he listened to her. He said as long as "she" knows, that's enough. I'm going to try to apply this theory.
1a) Uncle Bill was a highlight of the weekend. He told me that I should never buy my own diamonds and then he lip kissed me! Less creepy than that actually comes across while reading... but still that's pretty much how it happened. He was jamming and dancing out to Black Eyed Peas with his grandkids and his suspenders. The next day Uncle Bill was a little slower going but told me that I looked very nice with next to nothing on (swimsuit). I totally know why Auntie Donna knew he was the one- he probably charmed the pants right off of her! That Uncle Bill....
2) Jello shots and kegs are not just for college parties- they are for grown ups too. 200 jello shots shaped like an American flag, however, show more effort than you would see at a college party.
2a) In addition to the wild drinks at the pool party... we may or may not have pregamed church on Saturday. I have never done this before- and definitely not with adult supervision and encouragement- but, well, we did. I wasn't buzzed or anything for church BUT I did have a Miller Lite or two (ok, maybe three, I'm not sure) with all the Aunties and Uncles while Grandma was there! Oh, and even though it was a happy celebration, they sang most of the songs I want to have sung at my funeral. (Is that morbid? I think in other families that might be morbid, but I've spent plenty of time discussing arrangements for me, my mom and my sister. Maybe that's another post....)
3) Ultimate pool game can be achieved with about 8 players with ages ranging from 13 to 45 when you have an in-ground pool and a diving board. The game is called "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again". This was ultimate fun. And lasted 2 hours. I consistently got 3s and could never make a good splash even when i tried to jump SO HIGH. I was so down with the "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again" that when jumping in I actually was injured- I split my lip!! But, I did not cry and I did not give up- I got an ice cube and kept going. I also hurt myself when playing "Line up at the diving board and try to make the biggest splash and get a score out of 10 from Auntie Mary and then get back out of the pool and back in line and do it again" when I was showing off my upper body strength by pulling myself out of the pool sans ladder. This may or may not have result in skinned knees from the concrete during my first attempt. (I used the stairs after that.)
4) I cannot move to an area of the country that does not have a Chik-Fil-A. It seems terrible, but it also seems that you appreciate it more when you find one. I'm glad I have plenty of CFA's in my reach here in Texas.
5) Ashley got crabby on Sunday night and definitely gave me an opportunity to make headway on becoming the #1 grandchild since I was obviously NOT crabby. Even when we parted on Monday she texted later saying that the family was STILL talking about how great I was. Surprised? I'm not.
Other great things happened but I'm not going to waste your time with that...
Apparently now that I'm 21 and 3 years, I'm getting very old. I think I have heartburn!!! I've never had heartburn before so I really don't even know what it is... BUT- I was never aware of my esophagus before and yesterday evening and even this morning, I'm very aware of my esophagus. I can't explain it... but I think I'm going to call it heartburn and maybe have my second ever in life Tums today after work if I'm still aware of my esophagus. Has anyone else turned 24 and gotten heartburn?? A friend who I assume will want to remain anonymous says that in her 24 years of old age vegetables have started to give her gas.
In grown up news: I'm saving for a washer and dryer but Macy's keeps getting in the way. Maybe in another 6 months?....
Last but not least for today: I'm going to see Twilight this week. I'm rereading the book to prepare for the movie and I CANNOT WAIT. CANNOT! WAIT!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)