raw

Wow, I didn't think I would have anything to blog about and then BAM.... things to blog about!

I went to happy hour after work to the fabulous establishment: Taco Mac. Our server definitely didn't like us too much since we were getting HH beers (obviously) and $2 chips/salsa. Conversation was around things that were annoying me (are you noticing a trend....?) and then the bathroom.

"Why were you talking about the bathroom?" - I know you're wondering. And, I'll tell you. There is this woman at work who is so unbelievably short. I mean... REALLY short. I'm always so awkward talking to her (she initiates conversation, not me). I'm not awk because she is short, I'm awk because she is and then I'm always thinking "God, she is SO short!". Well, in the bathroom the other day she was in the stall next to me and her feet DO NOT TOUCH THE FLOOR. That is how short she is. This is a very standard toilet, too. Her feet should touch. And whenever I noticed that I of course had a case of the 3rd grade giggles. Which is weird to have.. in the bathroom... when there are only two people there... and you aren't talking to each other. So, I of course told people about her swinging, toilet legs and today we ended up discussing it.

Friend (I think I should give all my friends code names so that I can protect their identity. But, they probably know I'm talking about them and you probably can figure out who I'm talking about..) Anyway, friend, let's call him.... Brown, was trying to figure out what the women's bathrooms look like that I can see her feet swinging. (Obviously, because the stall doesn't go all the way to the floor in case you need to give your neighbor toilet paper.)

Ok, so one thing leads to another and we are comparing men's vs. women's bathrooms and friend Brown is asking if we have the paper seat covers because he takes "LIKE... FIVE!!!". And I said- I don't use those. And he says... "WHAT? You go.... FLESH TO PLASTIC?... YOU GO RAW?!" Yes. I go raw. I didn't think it was a big deal and neither did other friend, let's call her, UGAa. So Brown goes on and on about all these precautions he takes when in a public bathroom. Turns out he puts napkins on the floor, takes off his shoes, takes off his pants and then hangs them on the door.

Yes. Puts napkins on the floor. Steps on them. Takes his shoes off. Takes his pants off. Hangs his pants ON THE DOOR. And THEN goes to the bathroom.

Super weird. I will now call him Princess Brown.

*For the record- if I'm wearing a skirt I pull it up and if I'm wearing pants I pull them down. BUT- not to the ground. That is always weird. And people could see my name badge. That would be awkward.

That was a pretty exciting HH and I came home to a great little gchat from friend.... let's call her, Teapot. She reminded me that right now we would be getting ready for Indigo and looking for a french. Then we started talking about past attractives and this of course involved some facebook research. Well, an attractive is recently single! He is very east coast while I am now very western, but it's still great news. I don't need any attractives going and getting married until I'm ready and have decided I'm not interested. She thinks that she can get him (which will not happen) so I'd ask you all to say a prayer that when she goes to look for a "boob shirt" to flaunt her stuff in front of him she finds only a 100% cotton turtleneck with a kitten print. Thank you.

I'm going home this weekend and taking Monday off. I'm very much looking forward to Monday off. Before I go I need to clean my apartment. Most (actually all) of you are probably thinking "Of course- no one likes to come home to a messy apartment!". But that isn't why I clean it. I clean it because if the plane goes down or the car goes off the road I know my mom will be mad if she has to clean out my apartment and it is messy. So, I need to do the dishes, clean the bathroom and make my bed before I leave tomorrow. Busy night!

PS: I saw a dead bird yesterday on the way to work. It was like it was sitting on a ledge, froze and just fell over on to the sidewalk. Weird.