I have a few Chattanooga boyfriends. None of these relationships are two sided. Except for my crush on the handsome man on the 6th floor - that is definitely a two way crush.
Sixth floor man, who I assume is in sales, is very near to retirement age. BUT! Before you freak out, he is really a handsome, older man. He is always in the 5th floor break room (mine) and I"m pretty sure it's so he can see me. He winks at me too. Which may be weirder elsewhere - but there is a lot of winking that happens in the south so I'm not really going to read too much into it. Anyway - I saw him yesterday getting off of the elevator and said "hi!" because he is someone I've seen enough that I can speak the words "hi" to even though I don't know his name.
I got a new boyfriend yesterday leaving work. I was walking and droiding (not as dangerous as driving a droiding) and I looked up and what do I see? The most handsome boy ever! Young! In a suit! Going somewhere! So I looked back down to finish my droid sentence and then when we got closer I gave a nice, natural smile. And he smiled back. (Lovee!). And not a "Why is this weird girl with medusa hair smiling at me maybe I'll smile back at her and she won't put a spell on me" smile, but a "I'm a nice guy, and I'm going to smile back at this nice girl" smile.
The next one sided relationship... is maybe actually two sided. On his side he is being overly friendly and always appearing near my cube. On my side it is an active fear that he will appear and ask me to do something I have no desire to do and plotting ways to get out of it. There was the forced coffee date (I don't even drink coffee), there are the drive-bys "just to say hi", there are no subject emails that I "don't need to respond to" (and don't!), there was the orange juice delivery, there was the request for my presence at the symphony (avoided), there are shuttle rides to work when it is raining and I have no other choice (short, quick conversation), and then today there was a request to "do something different" and get lunch with him. God. I mean, I know that in general I'm a super charming person- but, come onnnnn, I have actively been trying to uncharm him.
During a meeting he did a cube drive by but thankfully I couldn't say anything to him. But, I knew that meant he would be sending me an email shortly. Which he did:
"Hi Megan, Pardon the interruption earlier. I was going to ask if you felt like doing something different today, let's go across the street for a bite at lunch. Let me know either way. Kind of last minute, but it'd be fun."
God. "Pardon" - who says that? Things that go through my head: I'm moving soon so I could continue to be nice. I could invite Princess Brown to come with to make it less awkward. Princess Brown always brings his lunch- if he doesn't get anything, it will look super awkward. I could make up a boyfriend. I could make up a meeting. I will get caught in a lie. God.
Final decision is to take the short walk to Subway with Princess Brown and my relentless suitor. I do whatever I can to be the opposite of charming. Like I said before, this was hard especially because I am having a great curly hair day. I said I might give up swearing for Lent and he was like "you swear?" so I said "YES!" and then I ordered a tuna sub for lunch- that's pretty much the most unattractive meal you can order. I also talked a lot about all my reality tv shows especially American Idol. I think boys hate American Idol. And I said whatever I could to make him talk to Princess Brown and not me "Oh! He owns two businesses! He can tell you all about it...." Etc. I then proceeded to take the elevator straight up to my desk where I was going to eat, alone, at my desk.There were no follow up emails.
Oh, and Buzz?! I can't wait to figure it out more!
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