Linked

It's no surprise to any of you, or anyone not reading, that I love boys. And, I think it's fair to say I have a pretty decent following of people in general life that are interested in any major status updates on my dating life because, well, I'm so vocal. So, last week when traveling for business to recruit at UNC it was not weird when my Program Director asked me how the boys were treating me in Dallas. And, I had to be very honest with him and say "They just aren't tall enough". Which, is total crap. I mean, first off there is supposed to be this great population of single men in Dallas when compared to other cities and second off don't they feed children here steak and milk their entire life and they should all be 6'6? I guess not.


Anyway, this was asked of me while enjoying a beverage and having a great discussion after dinner. And the bartender, Ryan, was being such a great server. And so patient. But when I told the PD that there were no men I was interested in in Texas, he felt like it would be a good idea to ask the bartender, in Chapel Hill, where all the men were in Dallas. This does not make any sense. We laugh it off and then Kim and I make the eyes like "let's wrap this up" and then we quickly vacate the hotel bar.


We change and primp for our evening of undergrad fun and go back downstairs and pick the brain of the concierge and the bartender, Ryan, about where we should go. Chat chat chatting, cab arrives and we head out. We did not have such the exciting time being undergrads, but we did some great people watching and also met Ross who is not an undergrad but has a movie star face and terrible (terrible) hair. He promised me he would cut it the next day. If he does, I think he will become a movie star - he was that handsome!


Alright, so we get home, pass out, wake up, head to breakfast. Program Director reappears and starts spilling the beans that when Ryan returned the check he told him that "Wow! I'll move to Texas!" or something equally embarrassing. We laugh about this over breakfast but Kim quickly hogs the rest of the conversation with her bout of "food poisoning". 


Ok. So the story ends, right?


WRONG!


Last night, I'm snuggled in my bed. Just reading! And I get to the perfect stopping point... my eyes are heavy, a chapter just ended, it's after 9:30 so I don't feel like a loser going to be already and.... I hear "DROID". And I think, UH! GOD! What NOW!?


Droid notifies me of an email which says: LinkedIn, Ryan has indicated you are a friend.


At this point, I have no recollection of Ryan from UNC and I think it is the non-husband Leigh met at the bar on Saturday in Baltimore. And then I am totally creeped out because I'm like - Oh. My. God. How does he even know who we are? But, then I keep reading and it hits me - Oh. My. God. This is the bartender from UNC.


His message is: Enjoyed meeting you last week. I did look for you out that night, but I couldn't find you ladies anywhere. Hope you were able to find the party. I know we didn't talk much when you were here... but let me know if you'd be interested in changing that. This is Ryan from the Sienna. 


I literally wanted to pee myself I was laughing so hard at this message. I automatically forwarded it to Kim who points out he spelled the name of the HOTEL HE WORKS AT WRONG. Seriously? If you're going to link-in some game, use the spell checker, right??? So, now I'm totally wired and texting with Kim and laughing so hard and then I think...


Oh. My. God. How did he get my name? Did he take my last name off my credit card? Didn't I pay with cash? Did he ask the concierge? Did he steal my records??? Did I tell him? I don't think I told him. What does he think is going to happen with this linkedin message? And, why do boys link me in?? This is the SECOND one! Which isn't a lot of people, but in the world of romance - I think two linkedins is a lot. I mean... how many do you have? None. Exactly. How do these people find me?? What man thinks linkedin is a way to get with a girl? I mean, really, can one of you reading explain that to me?


I obviously confirmed the linkedin. This can only be good for my self esteem. Mom, if you're reading, don't worry - this is only for blogging purposes.


Which, also reminds me - Remember the crazy Jesus Marine? Well, he texted me thousands of times. And I ignored. And ignored. And ignored more and more. But he kept texting and texting. At the time, G-Lo was my counsel and he said I was able to ask Jesus Marine to stop texting. The exchange was:


JM: Dude! Come eat at my restaurant! Come get some pho! It's off the tollway!
Me: Hi, can you please stop texting me. I am not interested. Sorry.
JM: Wow. You're rude. I'm glad I'm not pursuing a relationship with you.


Thank God that's over with.