i've been discovered!!!

Let's go back in time.... to July. For my Program at work we participated in training for 2 days on managing transitions and changes. It was really cool (I think) and a great professional development time. Except, pretty much everyone in the class is friends, or at least friendly- which means there are eyes across the room and calling people out that aren't participating and inside jokes and laughs. This makes training a lot more fun- and we still learn and participate. Actually, I was the star participater, if that even surprises you. WHICH it should because in order to be more "healthy life" or some garbage there were no vending machines in the training building AND NO DIET COKES. AND I DIDN"T COME PREPARED. AND I HAD A HEADACHE. So, day 2 I obviously had to make a pitstop at the gas station for 3 DCs (I gave one to Kim) and then we had candy that day and I was really ultimate participater with caffeine and sugar. None of that has anything to do with what I want to tell you. While we were learning and making silent jokes at our table, I realized that there were so many things happening that I should blog about and I should keep track of them. I spent about 10 minutes trying to open the post-its (those buggers are really sealed up tight for some reason) and started a little mini list of things. The first thing on the list was "Resting Face ------>". Drew, across the room, had a really bizarre resting/listening face and I couldn't look at him with out then catching Kim or Payal's eye and laughing. And then we had THE WORST LUNCH IN THE HISTORY OF LUNCHES. It SHOULD just be a sandwich tray, but apparently the sandwich tray people are sick of making the standard sandwiches so they put all this crap on the tray. Seriously- crap. Ham, some Indian sauce (love the people, not the food) and pineapple on not even white bread. And then there was the tuna salad, I think, which they call "fish salad" was also untrustworthy and I ended up eating lettuce for lunch for two days - which the trainer said is like eating nothing since there is no nutritional value in lettuce. But, I added dressing, I assume there is negative nutritional value in all dressings. (Assume means I know.) But the cookies were good, and I made a plate for the table (but really myself)- that also made it on the list of items and also increased my sugar intake which kept me participation level. Wouldn't you all like to take a class with me right now??

Anyway, I carried my post its around the entire training and when someone did something blog worthy I wrote it down. But then it just became a punishment tool, if someone did something bad or annoying, I also wrote it down. If you are writing things down, you'd be surprised at how quickly people change their tunes. New kid who probably doesn't quite understand my sense of humor did something I had to write down and he quickly backtracked and said "Wait, what is that you are writing? That's not what I meant". Also- people are usually perplexed when you pull a tablet and pen out of your pocket unexpectedly and begin writing. I suggest it- just for a night.

The reason I told you ALL OF THAT is because 1) Kim was whining that I never mentioned the list and we did get a lot of good laughs from it and 2) I should write things down more often- I am not so good at working from memory anymore (remember the cube power incident?). One thing I always want to write about but never remember to post is about my horses. I have three horses that I consider mine since I pass them every day on my way to work. I call them two reds and a spot because two horses have red fur- do horses have fur?- coats, whatever. And then the 3rd one is spotted brown and white. Two Reds and A Spot. I started off loving Two Reds and A Spot but now I pretty much think they are lazy pieces of garbage. I mean- THEY DO NOTHING ALL DAY EXCEPT EAT. THEY DON'T EVEN RUN!!! I've seen them run... once? twice? It dramatically improved my day- they were so carefree and galloping!!! BUT SERIOUSLY all they do is eat, every single time I see them. YES I have considered that I drive to and from the office at either breakfast, lunch or dinner time- but I think that have to have some variety and I know I have some variety so it isn't like I pass them every day at 7:55 AM or every evening at 5:25 PM or whatever it is. Always eating. Pigs. But, seriously, do horses have fur? Is that what it's called?

If you're a human, it's called hair. Which, speaking of, I got mine cut yesterday. FINALLY. I did a google location search for "hair salon" and picked the first one which luckily had all 5 red stars, called them up and they said "Yes, we can see you at 5:30". Amazing. Except, yesterday was a terrible day. Bad hair. Bad outfit. Bad makeup. I just was not an attractive person. I had to rush home and change and try to make myself presentable- how terrible to walk into a salon looking like a slob and then they give me the haircut of a slob!?? I was not having that. Mansour (Persian) was my stylist and is also the Creative Director of the salon. He was so great. He thinned out my hair BIG TIME - he took out 1/3 of my ponytail!!! And I still have so much hair. And he agreed that I should never cut my hair to my shoulders because there is just too much volume and he gave me the best 20 minute (TWENTY MINUTE!) shampoo ever. It was a scalp massage. Love. And I wasn't even so uncomfortable at the sink with the no neck padding- which, why don't they put neckpadding in there? I'll tell you why- because the stylists never wash there hair there until it's too late to order new ones and they realize TOO LATE how uncomfortable it is. But, the shampoo was great. And then Mansour got me a glass of white wine and started cutting, cutting, cutting. I understand a salon is a great place for gossip, but I really enjoy silence so I didn't do too much chatting with Mansour- except he's going to be a US citizen in 3 months, he loves to travel to the beach and he used to travel a lot for his previous job. He gave me a so great cut. So perfect. Great layers. Great angles. Great blow dry. Great straightening at the end. Ultimate. Cut. Also, most expensive cut I've ever had- $80. Which, for as much hair as I have and the quality of the salon I feel that it pretty reasonable- I also got 20% as a first time customer. And, as I was paying, receptionist Lauren (Who I think I would be friends with, but I'm not sure how I would make her my friend) says "You know, we are always looking for hair models, would you be interested?". Yep. Discovered after ultimate cut by Mansour. (Which as I type that I now realize his name looks like Man-Sour but it is really said Man-sore, just quickly pushed together but with more of a U sound than an "or" sound). Anyway, I've been discovered. It was only a matter of time. (That was a joke, people. God. But not really.) But, I don't understand why for "hair model" they needed to know my height and size clothing. This is peculiar to me- and makes me think it was maybe a guessing game they were playing to determine the width of my child bearing hips. (Which- I know the width ofmy hips from bridesmaid dress fitting last year and will not share that.... let's just say my measurements are offensive and not quite aligned.).

Holy new followers!! I'm so on a roll!!!! Nathan AND Chad!!!!! Nathan is, excuse me, was reader but not follower but is now follower. Friend of Erica- we've never met. I know nothing about him, except that I'm assuming he also lives in DC? Which is SO FUNNY because other new follower, Chad is my virtual bff who I have also never met (in person) and who is ALSO in DC!! We met on a list serv, and the rest is history- ehistory.


PS: Remember that red-eyed bug? I saw it's sister... evil-sister bug today. Except it runs - YES RUNS - like a mouse and hops like a grasshopper. I. Swear. To. God!!!!!!