warning: 4,000+ word post ahead

I went to Chicago this weekend to visit Ashley... she lives in good old Bourbonnais but we decided to spend a night in the city before exploring the glorious and fabulous town of Bourbs. This was important for my career because, obviously, I'm planning my career around locations and Chicago is one that I've recently become intrigued by (not Bourbs, though, just the actual city).

My flight was at 6:50AM and for some reason when booking flights I always forget how terrible the early flight is because I am so excited about the early arrival. Anyway, I had an early flight with Delta (who I hate and vowed never to fly again but I had the voucher and a positive attitude and decided that I would give them another shot.) Remarkably.... the flight experience was nearly flawless except for the rude flight attendant I had on flight 2. Really he was awful and less than enthused to be attending to us. It was an hour flight and he waited for minute thirty five to do beverages. Usually I wouldn't care but by this time I have been awake for 5 hours and really needing a DC. When he asked me if I wanted a beverage he seemed legitimately surprised that I said yes. Um, idiot! You asked. I answered. God. He then told me he wasn't going to give me a cup of ice because he was "in a rush" and that I should "drink fast" because he would be back around for garbage "very shortly". I did anything but that and sipped my DC slowly while staring hate eyes at this awful man flight attendant. I carried my DC off the flight with me since I was set on enjoying each sip.

Once on the ground in Chicago, Ashley picked me up and we headed into the city. We got there just in time to see all the street closures and a Memorial Day parade. It was a mess and Garmin and droid could not keep up with all the temporary road closures. Ashley suggested I read the map and tell her where we are going... so I did that. But after 15 minutes of guessing I confessed that I wasn't really sure how to read the map and I had no idea where I've been telling her to go. She said "Really, Megan?" and I said "Yes, Really". Then I spent some time telling her how when I was younger my Dad would take us on road trips to Philadelphia and try to teach us 1) how to read a map and 2) how to keep a beat with the music. Later that weekend I showed Ashley that at least I can keep a beat with the tunes, and droid most always can tell me where I'm going... so... I'm fine. My father also got books on tape and me and my sister at the ripe ages of, I don't know, 9 and 10? Listened to Animal Farm- I really am not sure why he picked this book on tape but I remember really enjoying the man on the tape saying "Four legs goooooooooood, two legs baaaaaaaaaaad" - in a sheep voice.

Anyway, after a little bit more of an adventure and driving over their "river" (seriously, the things people call rivers these days is pretty amazing to me...) we found the hotel and checked in. Smallest room ever! I mean, we were only sleeping there, but I think if i laid on the floor width wise, I'd touch both sides. And, the window we had was facing a pretty much dilapidated building so I was afraid some Chicago homeless was going to shoot us. (There was a dingy mattress hanging out of a window....so sketch!).

We did so much walking and great touristy things including a very (very!) deep dish pizza which, I guess was good, but I would never crave. We did some of the river walk and Millennium & Grant Park, and Navy Pier and somewhere else and of course just a little peek-see down Michigan Ave. But I had to be super well behaved because Ashley thinks I have a shopping addiction. Which, WHATEVER ASHLEY! I mean, she is the only girl I know with a steady income that doesn't have a shopping addiction. It's very weird to me... and made me a bit self conscious so I was super SUPER frugal and purchased only a notepad. See, I don't have an addiction.

I was a little whiney during our day outing (is anyone surprised?) because it was SO COLD!!!! Ashley thought I was crazy, and yes the temperature was 80- but it was such a cold 80! And the wind was cold! And I was cold!! And I'm spoiled from Texas and I love hot weather and hate coldness. While I was so cold I decided, no, absolutely not, I will not live in a place where this is my summer temperature. Ashley said I was crazy and it was hot. I said she was crazy and it was not. This continued all day long.

Since I had the 4AM wake up call, and Ashley has a sleeping addiction, we were totally down for a dinner time snooze... just a quick one and so needed! We got up and got ready and enjoyed a bottle of Wisconsin's finest red wine (Ashley is from WI) and then went out to get wild.

Pause- I was wearing this SO FABULOUS dress. I mean, so fabulous. There is one downfall to this dress and that is that I got it from Macy's (INC - 25% off then an extra 15% when you use your charge) so really, anyone can get it. I hate having duplicate clothes as anyone else, so I'm hoping that I never see another human in it ever! The dress was black and green and the back was a racer back. It was color blocked and the center color was a bright green and the sides were black. The black sides really help mask my ultimate hate area- childbearing hips. Oh, and there is a black exposed zipper in the front which is how you get in and out of the dress. And, the hair was totally behaving. It was the ultimate outfit.

Play- So we go and catch a cab and go into Wrigleyville. Are we maybe overdressed in our dresses? Maybe. Do we look fabulous and better than most every girl we see? Yes, of course. Ashley insists that our first bar is some Mexican place that she used to go to in Phoenix and I insist that we absolutely must take a shot of tequila then. (I love tequila.) I was worried because one time I took a shot with Ashley and she immediately vommed on my feet afterwards... but she was so great and had no issues with this shot. Anyway chat chat chat, great time, i see lots of cute boys (LOVE), a casual beer and we move on to the next place. We pick the place because we need to go to the bathroom and we've heard great things. The bouncer notices my "great dress" (his words, but also mine) and gives us directions to the bathroom that weren't very clear. We are in looking for the bathroom and a tall handsome man says "Bathroom? Down the steps" and i say "WOW! How did you know that!!???" And he laughs and says something I don't remember and we go to the bathroom. Ashley is not amused and does not think this boy is attractive! I say - RUDE! He's tall, that is starting bonus points and RUDE he IS attractive. She's not having it, but I don't care. We go back up and chat with boy, his name is Steve, and Steve is very friendly and chatty with me. Ashley again is not having it and not enjoying her conversation with Steve's friend whose name I never learned but occupation I did- tree trimmer.

Steve leaves for a moment and tree trimmer says to me "I want to tell you something, and please don't take it the wrong way" PAUSE- If you ever have to give this type of disclaimer just let it be known that 1) you probably SHOULDN'T SAY IT and 2) I probably WILL TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY. Play- so he continues and says "But, you're a very pretty girl and I don’t think you should be wearing that much make up.". Um, excuse me? Mouth is opened, and I said "Did you really just say that?". Ashley says what did he say? And I tell her and her face is showing me that I didn't take it the "wrong way" I took it the ONLY way you can take it! Idiot. I tell him he is an idiot and then I also tell him I'm just wearing foundation, blush and mascara (not that he knows what that means) and Ashley assures me that it is blended and I'm thinking... You awkward little tree trimmer, you are terrible!! So tree trimmer gets really upset because I think that he really thought this could not be taken a bad way. And because I'm such a nice person I feel bad for him and say "I didn't mean to ruin your spirits, but until you start wearing makeup you can't comment on makeup. Do you understand that? Also, if it starts with "don't take this the wrong way..." DON"T SAY IT!!!" He nods, he knows he is wrong. Steve returns and Ashley insists that we leave. Poor Steve, he didn't even do anything wrong... it was just stupid tree trimmer.

On our way out bouncer says "there goes that dress" (love the compliments, I was so high on compliments, it really was greedy). We stop and chat and ask him where we should go and then there is a weird man on the street also making suggestions. I look at bouncer and say "you're going to make sure he doesn't follow us, right?" He says, yes, right, of course. So we head in one direction quickly and sneak into a bar that is playing great tunes. I request one more shot of tequila and Ashley agrees (she must really like me) and then we start chatting with this table.

Guess what!! There is a boy from McKinney at the table (just a suburb 20 minutes north of me!) and I say OHMYGOSH!! I'm from PLANO!!!! Talk talk talk. And while we are doing chatting I get a text from an unknown 724 number... I say, Who is this? And response is "Tall kid. Penn state. Golf". Ohhhemgee, this is my ultimate crush from senior year!!! He's in Chicago and texting occurs and he meets up with me and Ashley. I immediately forget about potential friend and I am in immediate crush mode upon sighting of Ryan... just ask the girls, he is ultimate handsome. Ultimate. So we have a great time dancing to the tunes, except the tunes are current and the dancing is some attempt at ballroom (I love dancing with the stars so I'm even more smitten). Ryan is there with his friend Dennis and I'm also having a great time with Dennis- I mean, he's a nice guy. Except, Ashley has to remind me that I can't act with new boys the way I act with friend boys from Penn State. Apparently outside of my friend realm close talking, 'babes', 'you're so handsome', lip kissing and dancing can be perceived as flirting. This I sometimes forget. I did NOT LIP KISS FRIEND DENNIS THOUGH, or Ryan for that matter, but apparently the dancing and twirling and dips were flirtatious from Ashley's perspective. Whatever. I was having a great time.. until... Ashley thinks it's funny to unzip my dress.

This is not funny and I shriek and zip it up quickly but I mange to drop my purse and contents go everywhere. I'm picking things up and Ryan assists.. and.. god, of all the things in the world he can pick up from my purse... I mean, I had credit cards, jewelry, coins, lipstick... he picks up a tampon. And, ladies, not just any tampon, a super tampon. I don't know if boys know what the color green means (except, probably some of the boys reading now know more than they'd like) but if I was the type to be mortified, well, I would have been absolutely mortified. Except, I'm not, so I look up and there he is, holding out the tampon with this goofy "I just picked up a tampon" smile and I die. Die. I mean, on the verge of tears. I'm laughing so hard. I thank him for picking it up and quickly put it back in my purse. A tamp. God. The night continues until 3AM bar closing and parting on the street.

Parting on the street is when I notice, ok, maybe Ashley was right and maybe friend Dennis thinks I'm in love with him- which I'm not and especially not with ultimate crush there. So Dennis says goodbye which I make very quick and then I say "Ryan, aren't you going to say goodbye to me?" And so hug, kiss on the cheek and I said "Let me know when you don't have a girlfriend". And that's that. Me and Ashley get a cab and go back to the hotel.

In the car I tell Ashley what I told him about the girlfriend and how I'm back in ultimate crush mode and it's so stupid since many miles away doesn't even cover it... and I think he might think I'm too wild, but I'm not sure. Anyway, for some reason the cab driver thinks he can start in on our conversation (which we let him, because he is brown... our favorite) and he says that I'm allowed to have a crush on whoever I want and blah blah blah. He drops us at the hotel and this brown, oh my god, I can't even believe I'm going to type this... He says have a good night ladies, and then looks at me and says if you can't find anyone to have a crush on you, I'll suck your toes. Ashley looks at me and I'm in too much shock to even understand the situation right now! She says GET OUT! And we run into the hotel giggling uncontrollably and settle into a fabulous sleep in pitch black darkness. And, seriously, who thinks that is EVER OK TO SAY? EVER!? Total CREEP!

We have an 8am wakeup, but quickly take an aspirin and go back to sleep and then have a 10:30 wakeup feeling, quite parched, but, very great. Even though we're in a new place, we can't help but have a desire for PF Changs lettuce wraps and we get ready and head over for lunch there. Except, this may be the point in time I have a semi-functioning hangover and can't eat but ONE lettuce wrap. Such a tragedy. Thank gosh for DC's though! I had... 3? Yum. We check out of the hotel, and head to Bourbonnais for Sunday night.

Now, living in Chattanooga, I get it when Ashley says she HATES Brbs. I mean, I hated Chatt... but, Ashley really built it up to be something awful terrible so when I finally got there I was thinking "wow, this isn't so bad!" and she's got this great apartment that I thought was going to be falling apart... but, it isn't! She's got so much space! I mean, maybe the oven could be updated, but, really, it's a great apartment and I don't know why she is whining so much.

We do some driving around and then relax for a bit. I put a nice dent in my book, (hers actually), The Last Song, and then we play some Wii - so fun!!!! Have some dinner and head out to her local establishments to check out the scene. Now, a few of you have seen the scene in Chattanooga... so I was pretty much expecting the same thing- 65 year old hicks, smoke bars, uncomfortable eyes on you at all times... well, IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT!!!! First off, no smoking. Second off, YOUNGS! I even saw TWO attractives... Two TALL attractives!!! But, I decided they are much shy-er in Brbs because everyone was very keep to themselves even after we picked great tunes on the "pick your tunes jukebox". Whatever, we had a fabulous time chit chatting and people watching. It was a much earlier night for us.... midnight? But still fun! However, we did not make Ashley a friend because people weren't so chatty like I had hoped. But, I think we still had fun.

Sleep in the next day til 10 or so and get ready. We decide to see Prince of Persia... Uh, Jake, yum. So handsome! And it was actually a really good movie! I mean, some parts were corny, but it is a Disney movie... so, expected. Oh, also, the ticket price? $4.50. Fabulous. I have not seen a movie ticket for that price in.... AGES! After the movie I show Ashley why I love JCP and then we get into the car and drive to the airport. There is traffic, obviously, and a flight delay (of course I couldn't have an uneventful flight home) and the airport is so big and I immediately panic when I get inside. I have no idea how to work anything which line to go to or if I'm going to make my flight. I'm calling Ash in a panic "I'm LOST!! NOTHING LOOKS RIGHT!! WHERE DO I GO??" and she's trying to help me.. but, really, I'm beyond help. And then I'm so upset that I can't handle the airport and I'm thinking "Megan, if you can't get through the airport how will you EVER climb the corporate ladder!!??" And then I think "I know, I'll ask someone" Lol. So I ask someone and then tell me where to go.

I get to my gate and it is total and complete chaos. Every flight is delayed, people are missing their connections. There is a sweet guy in front of me who got special military leave for the weekend but has to be ON THE BASE TONIGHT OR ELSE and I'm listening so worried for him. I wait in line for an hour and then I get called up special since I have a connection and wait another 20 minutes. I make a mental effort to be super polite to girl behind the counter because I understand what it is like to work in an industry that people on the outside have no idea what is going on in the inside. When it's my turn I say "you seem pretty calm for all this chaos! Hopefully my flight is an easy fix for you!(smiley voice)". She seems to appreciate this and says she is going to keep me on my current flight but also book me on another flight just in case. She calls me back up 45 minutes later and tells me that it's not looking so good and she's going to put me on another flight. Now I just have to go to gate K10 (I'm at E14). And then she says, actually, go to K2 and tell them to check you in for K10 and to put you on standby for K2. I say ok and take a slip of paper that she says has everything I need.

I rush to gate K2 and wait in line another 10 minutes and explain, nicely, to the man what is happening. He doesn't understand. I don't get annoyed (like I want to) and I think, hm, ok Megan, start over and go slow and be clearer. I do this, and he is still confused. Idiot. So I point at the slip of paper and tell him I need him to check me in for the 9:05 flight at K10 but to also put me on standby for the 7:15 and K2 and this exchange continues for 15 minutes while he tells me he doesn't see my name, give me your ID, what is your name, give me your ID, what is your name (yes that many times) and I"m taking so many deep breaths and trying to keep my composure. Finally he "finds" me - like I was lying and says, actually it isn't K10, it's K3 now. And I say fine, ok, whatever, am I checked in? Ok, thanks, bye. I sit and wait for my flight. 90 minutes later they move the gate AGAIN .. this time to K19 and I am less than thrilled.

I'm waiting at K19 and I'm the last group on the plane so I know this is going to be an issue for my carry on. I wait wait wait and so rude flight attendant with such terrible frizzy hair tells me to "look all over the plane for space, but if you can't find any, just bring your bag here". I said, "Really? Can't I just give it to you NOW!?". Idiot. She thinks for a moment and decides this is acceptable. I have to sneak back past everyone, drop my luggage, get back in line and then climb over people to get my window seat. Everyone is seated, we are finally about to take off and they call over the system that anyone that checked their carry on luggage has to come up and claim it. GOD!!!!!! So more climbing, lots of aggravated people. They make me pick up my OWN BAG and carry it off the plane, out of the loading space back INTO THE TERMINAL! I couldn't believe it!!! Then the idiot flight attendant is like "Dallas?" And I say "No, Dallas/FortWorth!" Three times. Then I have to again walk back in to the plane lots of chaos climb over people and finally get to sit. I'm fuming! FUMING! Now, on top of hating Delta, I have to hate American Airlines too. The flight is so long, by the time we take off I should already have been back at my apartment.

I don't arrive home until after 1AM and I'm just pooped!! So tired! I don't know why I travel via plane. I fall right to sleep and have to get into work super early today because I had a dermatology screening at our onsite clinic. I don't think I realized how scared I am of them finding a bad mole, but she checked my back and lower legs (most common places for women) and the one mole I have that looks normal but still worries me because I only have one and gave the me Ok. PHEW! She also told me the best sunscreens are Neutrogena or Aveeno because they have a sun stabilizer and said that sunscreen should always be on my chest and face just like a moisturizer. I am going to listen to her and start that regimen immediately. And, YOU ALL SHOULD TOO! Also, she said whatever amount of sunscreen I'm putting on now, it isn't enough (no one ever puts on enough) and she suggested that I try to remember to use more even if it seems like it's too much. So I said- yes, of course. Safe sunning for life!! You should all be safe sunners and have a friend check your back for moles.

So that was my extended weekend. I knew when I started this it was going to be long, but I guess this was REALLY long. Are any of you even still reading this??

Hopefully!

I wonder if lucky follower number 29 is still reading. Niff, are you there?? Poor guy, if you are still there, you probably did not care at all about the few sentences I wrote on tampons, and if you skimmed it, well, sorry to bring it up again. I think all of my followers pretty much know each other, but just in case you don't, I have a total gradeschool crush on Niff and love when he gchats me. He always says "You're so beautiful". I mean.... who wouldn't like that!?? Have I mentioned.....He's so handsome!

Oh, and secret commenter named "jjjj"... rude. Reveal yourself!