I hate Pittsburgh cabs.

Hi Followers and Non-Followers (who I hate!) -- I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!! (Or a great Saturday for my non-Christmas followers and non followers (who I hate less, but still hate) since I am so pro-diversity!!)

What a whirlwind the past week has been - I'm still exhausted and looking forward to finishing this 3-day week and sleeping in on Friday! Things are really slow at work, but, I need to be there and the day just drags and I'm not holding out much hope for the rest of the week....

Pittsburgh was so great! You all know about the serious Miller time that was had the weekend of the 17th, which takes us to the 22nd... I believe. I raged on the 22nd and it was such a great time! All kinds of emails and texting and calling going on and it was decided that Shadyside was the spot and was I going to come? Of course! The big decision was deciding if I was going to rage or not and Andy told me they were already taking shots and that I should come prepared... so I had to ask Sister Allie to take me to Shadyside.... Pause.

I think a good number of you know Sister Allie, or have at least heard of her. She is generally a good time, but she has these terrible mood swings that I don't think she has ever admitted to. She's probably having one right now reading this... but, luckily it's my blog and these are all things she knows I think. Anyway, one minute she is a great time, the next... well.. I'd rather be outside tailgating a cold Steeler game with no jacket than facing the unpredictable wrath of Allie. Play.

So, Allie was all "Yes, sure, ok, I'll take you to Shadyside" and then there was a delay and all of a sudden she was "GOD MEGAN. YOU ARE THIRTY MINUTES LATE! YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING, I WAS GOING TO GO CLEAN MATT'S HOUSE! GET IN THE CAR! YOU OWE ME $20 FOR GAS MONEY! GOD!" But, I needed the ride to SS, so I just tuned her out and got in the car, sans gas money because that is crazy. She wouldn't even let me stop to grab a case of beer for the friends since I had RUINED EVERYTHING!!!! Anyway, she drops me off at Andy/Kolan's and raging begins. I check my phone 30 minutes later and I have a text message that I know if Allie was saying it to me it would have been in all caps but since she texted it, well, it wasn't... and it said "Don't ask me for anything ever again.... Lincoln puked on me in the car".

Pause: First what does the dog puking have anything to do with me? Second: The dog is 15 pounds and I'm sure his puke is a hiccup and takes one paper towel to clean up. Third: She was going to clean her boyfriend's house so she HAD THE CLEANING SUPPLIES WITH HER!

Double Pause: There are a lot of Matt's in my house. Brother Matt. Uncle Matt. Boyfriend Matt 1 (of Allie) and Boyfriend Matt 2 of Kelly. Their names at family events are Matt Son, Uncle Matt and Boyfriend Matt. Boyfriend Matt 2 was not present for family affairs so we did not confuse the two Boyfriend Matts.

Play.

Anyway, Allie, that night, stopped doing "nice things" for "everyone" because Lincoln (her dog) puked on her. With the exception of the Daly's (who have a weird nonstop friendly family) I imagine anyone else with a sister has experienced this. But not Allie - because I'm the best, most level-headed sister in the whole wide world!!! LOVE YOU AL JAZEERA! (Yes, Allie's nickname in my house is after a Middle East news station.)

Back to raging! It has been since... NEVER.. that I have had this mixture of favorite gentleman all together ever!

Andy Miller: He was a 5th roommate Junior year Spring in the 512. People referred to us as "The Millers". My dad uses the word "bubbly" to describe him. We were non stop friends until he started dating Dodo Baby or Doface or whatever he called her. I knew it was over when instead of showing me his new computer he left the 512 to go camping on Mount Nittany with her. They broke up. He left for Australia the following semester and we quickly replaced him with a new 5th roommate: Cone.

Matt McCowan: Total babe that lives in Houston. We are going to be so very great friends in 2011, better than in 2010!! We start most conversations to each other with "You are handsome/beautiful" or "You are so great". Matt McCowan is very manly and you might have seen him chopping wood before. Or fixing something.

Sam Merrit: Of all my favorite gentleman, I don't know that I have ever had a beverage alone with Smerrit! But, he is definitely the times. Even the time I visited in Charlotte and there was nonstop football and toddler action... All. Day. Long. Follow the Smerrit on Twitter at Smerrit324. He was cold, now I'm not sure what he is. Even though Lisa coined "Smerrit" (which is really genius and very funny), I named Sleepy Sam which is the version of Sam that goes to bars and sleeps standing up, but still not as good as Smerrit.

Peter Chalfin: Pretty much all of my followers are familiar with Chalfin as he is the author of No More Babes and has guest starred in a variety of posts. Pete says he only sometimes skims my posts for his name, but I know that he actually reads my blogs and probably chuckles to himself more than he will admit to me. Peter - you need a haircut.

Anyway!!! It was SO GREAT! to have these four gentleman in the same place at one time!! I feel like I should make special mention of Kolan who was not a favorite in college (because we just didn't cross paths all the time) but is an allstar post college even though he is always studying in Medical School and didn't know about the BP oil spill until ten days later since he wasn't watching the news. I am now aware of how funny Kolan is, now that he is a post college Pittsburgh friend.

Anyway again! We raged all night on the 1st floor and 2nd floor and just chat chat chatted and laughed so hard! It was great to have Amber, follower 45 or 46 present because a month or two ago she randomly met Peter at a bar and said she wasn't allowed to have a crush on him because I called dibs on Peter if he ever moved to Pittsburgh. Peter told me this story and, I must admit, I called him a liar. Finally, all three of us were in one place to settle the score and Amber did confirm that she said I called dibs on Peter if he ever moved to Pittsburgh and I had to apologize to Pete for 1) calling him a liar and 2) adamantly telling him I would never call dibs on him. Ever. Either way, I absolved said dibs (which I think Amber is making up). More to come on Romance 2011 between Amber and Peter. Oh my god, is my blog a matchmaker!!?

McCowan, for some reason, tried to matchmake me with a tall blond man who was so so skinny and had a stutter. Thanks, McCowan. He says his mother/father have a Penn State history and this is why he is named Calder. McCowan finds this hard to believe. I think that is something weird to make up, so I believe it. I had a hard time getting out of the conversation, because, for whatever reason, at this point in time I didn't want to be rude (weird, I know). But, I became distracted when a man with a mohawk appeared in the corner of my eye and I just had to tell him how much I loved his mohawk. I don't think, in reality, I was in love with the mohawk - but it did catch my eye. And I started chatting with this man, his name is Scott, but everyone saw me chatting with him and called him my Mohawk boyfriend well into the next day. Scott Mohawk thinks he is misunderstood because a lot of people think he likes punk music, but really he likes rap. When the group was leaving, I was obviously leaving with them and I said "Bye Scott, so nice to meet you" and he placed an aggressive hand on my hip and said "No, stay" and I said "No thanks! Those are my friends! Bye!!" And he said "What if I kidnap you?" and I said "Scott, don't you think that is a little aggressive for a first meeting?" And while he thought this over, I left to go to MK's place in the Southside for the slumber party.

At the slumber party, me and Amber decided we wanted gyros and Tom told us to make three rights and MK said to make three lefts and in our state we couldn't decide which way to go and why one of them was lying to us. We picked three rights and got gyros and cheese fries and they were so good! The next morning, always logical McCowan explained to us that because we were on one block three lefts of three rights would get us to the same place. Whatever, McCowan.

I woke up and left early Thursday morning because I had to go turn into a person before we started to tailgate the Steeler's game that afternoon. MK was a total allstar and scored 2 gold parking tickets and organized a beautiful so great tailgate on the COLDEST DAY OF THE YEAR!!!! More on that later...!

We all ended up back at MKs around 1 and Jarrod came too! We had bloody marys and mimosas and pretzels and treats and had a great kitchen hang session. Upon Jarrod's immediate arrival giggling started and did not stop until MK kicked us out the next day. (OK, she didn't really kick us out, but I bet she was glad when we left). Jarrod came dressed in all of his dad's winter hunting gear and brought with him the most disgusting wart on his finger that I have ever seen. During his first sip of mimosa, I realized something and said it was a Christmas miracle to which Jarrod spit mimosa everwhere and had slobber on his chin and thus the saying of the day became "It's a Christmas miracle!!" and the giggling picked up from there. 15 minutes before we had to leave to go to the parking lot, we were given instructions to layer up since it would be cold. I brought just as many layers as the game from the previous Saturday but was still so freezing. The rest of the group thought they didn't need jackets so they were even more freezing. We got to the lots just as they opened and there were no cars protecting us from wind and it.was.so.cold. I mean, think of the coldest you have been, and we were colder. This is when the phrase "tote mizzing" aka totally miserable came into play because, even though we were having lots of laughs, the second you stopped laughing you remembered how cold you were and you wanted to die until the next laugh came on. Luckily - me and Jarrod are giggle champions and that kept us alive.

Also keeping us alive were secret trips to the bathroom in the bar and ordering a drink and enjoying it while you could feel your hands because there was heat in the bar! Going to the bathroom was only worth it for the drink because getting all the layers off and manuevering the bathroom with all your coats and things was nearly impossible!

We had an awesome spot next to a van that was a DJ booth and played great tunes the entire time with lots of lights. Emmadon made a guest appearance (Thank GOD and more on that later) and douggied on the roof. It was dangerous and I'm not sure why she did that, but she seemed to be having a great time up there on that sketchy van roof. I also lip kissed an elf that was on roof. Except, he wasn't a real elf, just dressed like one.

There was so much food, but pretty much all of it froze throughout the day. Except the kilbosi and kraut which was SO GOOD (I had three) and was finished with no third degree burns. (Some of you may recall Notre Dame 08 in which kraut was flung from the crockpot and left 3rd degree bur on Natalie's neck - the scar is still there today). The best part of the meal was when the grill was turned on because we would place our bare hands on top of it for warmth. You know it's cold when the grill is only "warm". There were also these propane heaters which if you got to close, they would burn and melt your clothing - this did happen to a jacket (not mine) and gloves (Jarrods - except, he was asking for it since he was so close to the burn!). By the time the beer was half 3/4 of the way gone (just 8 cases, no big deal) and the gin bucket was in it's final moments, people were really very cozy and flip cup sans gloves was an acceptable game. I did get voted off the first time (my hands were still frozen) but did manage to prove my worth once I was allowed to play again.

For kickoff we ventured to a bar, grabbed a table and had a great time. Sleep Sam showed up about this time and we made it to halftime when energy was running low and we thought maybe some of us should pack up and head back with Sleepy Sam - just grab a cab, NBD, right? WRONG.

We waited 2 hours for a cab. This was complete tote mizzing. Me, Jarrod, Emma and Sleepy Sam tried and tried to get a cab and we had NO LUCK. It was miserable. The cold is picking up, the hangover is setting in and all we want to do it get back to MK's place. No luck. Do you know how long two hours is to hail a cab? LONG! I fell asleep in a hotel lobby waiting and also on the curb waiting. I walked to the overpass to get a cab and came back empty handed. At 30 minutes, Chris Lucas shows up IN A CAB and gets out and lets it go. Another 90 minutes passes and Emma, for some reason, decided to call her dad and we have to run all over Pittsburgh to find the right intersection and get in the car. We finally get word of his location and start walking towards him. During the walk JARROD TRIPS ME. My reflexes were not the best. I fell down like a tree falls down. Straight. Flat. There had to have been a thump. My chin hit the pavement! There were people everywhere. In my head I'm worried 1) DID I BREAK MY TEETH? and 2) I AM GOING TO KILL JARROD! He did not care because he was too busy laughing with Chris Lucas. My hands were scraped. My knees were (are still) bruised. It was mortifying. Thanks a lot, ya big idiot!!!!

Anyway, over 2 hours later still no cab and Emma's dad picks us up! Can you believe that? We get dropped off and all of a sudden Sleepy Sam is gone and Smerrit is back but I'm still tote mizzing and I just want inside. We get to the door and everyone has a strange feeling pass over them that there is no key. 30 seconds of WHO HAS THE KEY!? OPEN THE DOOR! I HAVE IT! GET IT OPEN NOW! ensues. Jarrod and I get the futon and snuggle away into the night after I popped two advil and a major glass of water.

Fastforward to 8... 9am? IT IS SO HOT. We were sleeping under the vent and just dying! Usually me and Jarrod spoon and I S his B (scratch his back) but we slept at opposite ends of the futon not touching at all. Smerrit even laid down on the kitchen tile after changing into shorts because he was so hot too! McCowan slept movie naked (per Tom Fisher, which means pants, no shirt) and he said it was cold on the floor. Either way, me and Jarrod started talking talking talking and even got Lucas in on the chatting. People slowly started to wake up and take things out of the cars and shower and turn into people... but not me and Jarrod. We sat at the counter while such great hostess MK made us delightful cinnamon rolls and coffee for breakfast. Except, I don't drink coffee. So she gave me a two liter of Diet Coke. And Jarrod and I sat there until that 2 liter was finished (much to the amazement of the group). When we got to the holy Last Sip - Pause:

The Last Sip is a running joke in 512 with Cone because he is a Diet Coke afficianado like myself. I don't know why we decided the last sip was so great, because I think, traditionally, people think that is all backwash, but, regardless, we did. We called Cone and told him we were saving the Last Sip from a 2 liter and to HURRY OVER. Which he did. Except, we were not saving him the Last Sip at all, just an empty bottl. Well, when Cone got there and saw the stunt we had pulled, well, he was not happy.

Play: When we got to the Last Sip we decided to bequeath it to roommate Vannessa because she had, whether she knows it or not, been laughing at me and Jarrod which helped our self-esteem and encouraged our goofing off. We made her kneel in front of us, we said some words and made her chug the Last Sip from the bottle. It was glorious. Roommate Vanessa is funny. Once the two liter was finished, me and Jarrod decided it was time to go. To take our things, our injured bodies and head home.

And that takes us to Christmas Eve - but that also takes us to the end of a long post. Stay tuned.

PS - People, I'm so close to 50! JLH! Follow me! Rohrbach! Follow me!! I need FOUR MORE FOLLOWERS!! If you THINK you are following me but I haven't introduced you to the rest of my followers, you are NOT following me! Can I get 50 followers by 2011?? Please!!??? :)