The Best Belated Birthday Present... Ever.

Now, before I go any further, I want all of my followers to know that prior to my birthday I loved you all the same. But, something has changed. It has rocked my heart and I now have a top three followers. That delivered the best, laugh-out-loud, totally unexpected, completely unbelievable, belated birthday present I could ever ask for and would never have expected to you.


I received this email July 9th:


Dear Megan,

As your most loyal followers nan, greg and I have personally made it our mission to aid you in getting to 100 followers. We have been waiting to show you our latest campaign until the most opportune time, and after hearing your whisper voice at work, we decided it was now. So I present to you: Abitflattywampus- The Adventures of Flat Megan. Enjoy!


--
Conor William Daly
The Pennsylvania State University


You're thinking one of three things right now:
1) Megan has a whisper voice?
2) Didn't Cone graduate already?
3) OMG What is abitflattywampus and how can I meet her!?!


My responses to those three things:


1) Yes, I have a whisper voice. It's called Presentation Megan's normal voice. And it's also a little bit of a confused voice. Imagine you're me and you're sitting at work and you get a call on your office line with nonstop laughing and you don't know who it is and then you realize it's Nan and Cone from Southeast Asia calling to wish you a happy birthday after calling the general intake number for my building? Whisper voice HAD to occur so I didn't draw attention to myself and way too much giggling for 2pm.


2) Yes, Conor did graduate from college. But apparently he still has not entered real life since he can take a "sabbatical" from "work" to go backpacking through Southeast Asia. It's not real life.


3) Right now. Enjoy!

Flatty hanging with a shih tzu puppy!

Flatty exploring the wild!

Flatty and Naked Nan!

Flatty in evening wear for a great tuna dinner!

Just horsing around with a tiger!

Wore him out! Sleepy tiger!

So now you are thinking a LOT of things. I've pulled together a general FAQ for your reading pleasure:

Q: Abitflattywampus is AMAZING!

A: That wasn't a question, but, yes, you are right.

Q: Where did Flatty get such an amazing bod?

A: Flatty eats a lot of protein and lifts weights. She plays with tigers.

Q: Are... um... have.. has.. did she get a boob job?

A: Flatty has no comment.

Q: How did Flatty get to Asia?

A: In a carry-on bag, stored in an overhead compartment.

Q: Why isn't Nan wearing any clothes?

A: Nan is so wild and she does what she wants.

Q: I saw the swimsuit and evening wear - are there more outfit changes?

A: Flatty doesn't work, she just travels the world, so any additional outfit changes would have to be gifted to her.

Q: How do I get my own Flatty to tour around town?

A: We'll need to pester GHyde to release the jpeg for all my followers viewing pleasures.

*On the "All My Followers" page, Greg, Conor & Nan will all receive a * next to their name to indicate favorite status.