A new level of crazy...

Sleidy- thanks for oversharing. I can't believe you squashed a BUG with your FOOT while you were NAKED! But, really, I do encourage oversharing. Always.

I have never smashed a bug with my barefoot, but one time I did step in dog poop with my bare feet. That was pretty much disgusting. Thankfully I have always been tall and we had an above ground pool. I hopped to the pool lifted my leg over the side and cleaned off the poop. Yes, this might have been inconsiderate to those swimming, but YES, I needed THE POOP OFF MY FOOT!

Which leads to a great would you rather- would you rather crush a cricket with your bare foot while naked, or step in dog poop in the back yard? I'm really not sure, now that I've just given myself the choice, which I would pick.

Work has been really crazy and I just had to work so hard and rush right home to make it in front of the TV and watch the premier episode of Dancing With The Stars!!! But- let's talk about work for a second: I got a new computer. Getting a new work computer is a lot less stressful than getting a new personal computer. If anything is missing, well then, it's missing. But, anyway, I got the new computer and it's a miracle- I have TABBED INTERNET EXPLORER NOW!!! It's the simple things that make my day so much better. Really. Tabs? Thy make browsing SO GREAT!

Before we get to DWTS, let's get to my online dating history. About six weeks ago Natalie and Jarrod wanted me to join a dating website. The conversation about joining the dating website was the most fun and lots of giggling occurred. You can't just join and browse, you have to add a profile. This was my profile:

I love taking road trips, eating cake for breakfast, business casual happy hours, safe sunning (spf 55 always) and obviously any time I get to spend back home with my family. I love my droid, I drink more Diet Coke than most and my friends think this is a great idea. I'm from Pittsburgh, but working on becoming a southern belle while living in Texas.

(My family probably thinks I don't like spending time with them, but, I guess I really do- I mean, I put it in my online dating profile.

I get lots of messages from weirdos, but I most recently got a message that takes the cake. A totally new level of crazy weirdo. His name "CHILLIN IN THE CITY". His message:

Your background brings back a few memories. Go back a few years, say when I was 16 to 18, I loved eating cake for breakfast. I could do it as often as I wanted to and never gained weight. I don't do that anymore, its a bad habit that I fortunately dropped. One thing I liked better than cake for breakfast was hotel breakfast, which had the waffles, scrambled eggs and bacon. No matter what you do, you can never make scrambled eggs as good as the hotel can.

I moved to Rockwall with my family over ten years ago. I originally came from Maryland. I recall some key portions of Penn. but not too many. I remember Gettysburg and the Civil War monuments/ memorials and I remember a small town called Taneytown in Penn. That small town featured the most unique collectible place I have seen. I acquired a while ago, a large stash of hand carved wooden animals and an Australian Aberiginy handcarved rain stick that rattles when it shakes. I suppose it has beads in it or something. I have not found a store such as the one in Taneytown anywhere in Texas. I actually visited Maryland, and Penn (including Gettysburg and Taneytown) about two months ago.

I have a background of drinking lots of diet pepsi in years past. When I say alot, say around two liters a days worth. I can personally vouch that its really not a good idea. I eventually accumulated too much aspartame in my blood from diet sodas and suffered neurological issues as a result. Aspartame is poisonous in large doses, its a mild carcinogen and its effects are poorly studied.....which is very important if you take any prescription medications as there is no actual studies out there to attest for its safe combination with prescriptions. When Aspartame was combined with the taking of an anti-anxiety medication, it lead to uncontrolled muscle spasms which took three months to cease past the time for which I completely stopped drinking diet drinks all together.

If you take anything that is meant for the brain....such as anti-anxiety, anti depressants, Ambien/ medications to sleep etc..etc. You got to be really careful of the diet drinks and Aspartame. Your way to beautiful to be having head twitches and spasms.

I have an extreme attraction to red heads

~Scott~


I, OBVIOUSLY, immediately deleted the account. No further discussion needed.

Now, on to DWTS. When things were going so crazy busy at work I messaged Kim and said if I don't make it home to see Mike the Situation and America's daughter Bristol dance I will be PISSED OFF. Except I said POed. I have it on both TVs right now so I can do all my chores and not miss a second of the action!!!! Because you all care, I'm not posting this blog until I see all the dancers go and write down a sentence on each dancing couple:

Audrina: I can't believe she couldn't do a full split. Rockin bod.
Kurt: Handsome older man for sure, not so very smooth.
Judges: I love when they fight.
Castle: So glad it's back on, can't wait to watch tonight's episode. I hope they end up together, just not yet.
Kyle: WHAT A DISNEY CUTIE!! Or Nickelodeon. Or whatever he is.
Bruno: SO FUNNY when he calls other men naughty.
Richy Rich is a ginormous (sweaty) dreamboat.
Margaret: Your angry Asian face will get you kicked off.
Brandy: Didn't she kill someone? Not voting for her.
Natalie: You should know better than to call during DWTS. I am ignoring your phone call. And I know you don't read this, so I don't even feel bad about it.
Bristol (America's Daughter): Surprisingly good for week 1!
Florence, SERIOUSLY? KILLER legs! And love the cursing.
Dear Situation: I am sending you all eight of my votes. All. Eight.
Who was next? I lost interest. Hasselhoff? You're a loser and likely to go with Margaret. And they don't even get rid of two people in one week.

Ok! Back to my chores!! And primetime TV!!!