Coffee date

I went on a date last night.

Tequila Megan set up this date and I pretty much knew nothing about him except he called, ON THE PHONE, to ask me to meet him. Not a lot of guys call on the phone so I thought he might actually be a nice guy. I paid no mind to the fact that I had absolutely no idea what he looked like or what he did or ANYTHING.

Things only got worse from there.

He asked me to get COFFEE. Lame. Yellow flag. I mean, don't all young, working professional  NEED a glass of wine or beer sometimes??! But I agreed. Then he asked me to meet him in Highland Park Village. Red flag. This is where a lot of STUDENTS live. I know immediately in my gut he does not have a job and has to be younger than me: BARF.

I get to the Starbucks and immediately have a bad feeling about everything. He shows himself and taps me on the shoulder. I should have said "Sorry, I don't know you" right there. Right then. But I didn't. I saw the funny story potential and said "Oh Hey!". (Presentation Megan).

This boy (22) was wearing (I swear to GOD): dirty Adidas sneakers and high white sweat socks (mid calf). I could see his socks because he was wearing my most hated article of male clothing: the khaki cargo short. Pause.

Gentlemen: WHAT DO YOU PUT IN THOSE POCKETS? There is no need for that. THEY ARE TERRIBLE. DO NOT WEAR THEM.

Play. He was also wearing a faded from age and not from style red tshirt to top off his number one ensemble for this Thursday evening.

The conversation was so awkward, but the highlights are:

1) He's living at home with his parents
2) He has a degree in neuroscience
3) He was an EMT but does not want to be a doctor
4) He is training for the Navy Seals
4A) He can hold his breath for 30 meters underwater
5) He works at Eatzi's and makes $9/hour
6) He wanted to know if I smoke pot and drink a lot

and, the exchanged that ended the date after 25 minutes:

me: So besides training for the Navy Seals and working at Eatzis, what else do you like to do?
him: I like going out and picking up chicks like you.
me: Well, I've got to go. Have a good night!