Tears. Seriously.

This is actually going to be January recap 2 of 3 but I have to tell you - I cried this weekend. Legitimate tears came down my face. Why? I'll tell you.

We were just having the times on Saturday - typical. We had a great Mexican dinner to celebrate Janet's birthday and we were going to drop of Kelly's car before heading to the Knox Street Pub for ultimate dance party (music videos included). I may have had two margaritas with dinner and there may have been live music with a conga line than ended with a (baby) shot of tequila. And I was feeling the tunes and the evening adventures and checking in to all locations - including Kelly's car. So, we park the car and are sitting and waiting to catch our next ride. We're just chatting. And, out of the corner of my eye, I see a man walk in that appears to be dressed well and also appears to maybe be tall. I of course take a gander.

I gander for 2 seconds before I scream out: YOU ARE RON CORNING FROM THE DALLAS MORNING SHOW! And he says "YES!". And I literally start crying. I have to cover my face and I can't even look at him. Everyone is laughing at me and I'm just trying to catch my breath and stop crying and I'm thinking "Oh my God! Movie Star! Celebrity Sighting! STOP CRYING SELF!". By the time I can take my face out of my hands, I am now tuned into the fact that Erin and Kelly are laughing at me. And, apparently Ron Corning invited me to the pool but I didn't hear it because I was having a legitimate panic attack.  I mean, seriously, check out this commercial and tell me he isn't the corniest (JOKE - GET IT?) Morning anchor in the history of morning anchors?

MORE - RON! Do you get it?? So what do I do? I get on Twitter and TWEET @RONCORNING. This is the point in the night I realize I have a problem. Do you want to know who the first person I followed on Twitter was? ROBIN ROBERTS.

I love morning news anchors! And then I thought, what if, heaven help me, I accidentally ran into Robin Roberts? I think I would pee myself. I have NO idea what I would do!

Which, PS, you may recognize Izzy from this famous news flub.

So, what else happened in January? I went to St. Louis with Jessica. Girlfriend Sarah was the most fabulous host ever! We did SO MANY THINGS when we were in St. Louis!

Before I get to the so many things, let me give you a synopsis of pre-trip. Pre-trip something came up that made me say to Jessica "Jessica, do you know what state St. Louis is in?" And she said no. So I told her St. Louis was in Missouri. End of story.

Fast forward to St. Louis. We're all out having the best time ever and met up with friend Priyanka and Ashley and were listening to music and dancing and having a fabulous time! We move to a pub and we are sitting around talking and someone says (probably Sarah) says "Jessica doesn't know what state we are in." And I chime in "Yes she does, I told her." And I am preparing for my proudest moment this new man says "Jessica, what state are we in?" Jessica doesn't miss a beat.

"Montana."

Funniest moment of the trip. Hands down. Oh, except for when Jessica told us she went on a Jack-in-the-box diet for one summer and ate two tacos and an oreo milkshake for breakfast, lunch and dinner and lost 5lbs.

I'm telling you people, you should come to Dallas just to meet Jessica. She is a perfect friend and she diets just like me.  And she cracks me up like crazy. And I have to stop talking about her or else Girlfriend Sarah will get jealous.

Back to St. Louis. We did EVERYTHING!

Taking hipster photos

Botanical Gardens Tropical Forest

Visiting the Arch

Visiting a bar that looks like a strip club

      

Hanging out at the zoo with a ham of an orangutan 

Playing some Big Buck Hunter on Sunday Funday

Lacing up our skates for ice skating

Toured Anheuser Busch Brewery with free sips

Girlfriend Sarah was the ULTIMATE host! She took us to so many great restuarants and showed us all of her favorite spots. And I got to share a twin bed with Jessica the entire weekend. And we went to the grocery story and she took us to the Quik Trip for my first taquito EVER and it was amazing with a fountain DC and we shopped and shopped and looked at antique stores and had brunch and it was just an amazing, fun-filled, non stop perfect girls weekend! There is not one thing I would change. Best weekend ever!

Also, preparing you for recap 3 of 3 of January: the zero mention of Justin means I didn't think of him at all while on vacation. 

January Recap 1 of 3

Where, oh where, have I been!??

Lots of places! I'll do a few blogs to back track because January has been such a great successful month full of so many times! I have some items I want you to know immediately, but I have to start at the beginning. So... we will go there... to January 1st!

Beautiful but disgusting

New Years Eve kicked off the year. Emily (83) planned a so great dinner and bar situation to ring in 2012. Nate was in town while he covered the bowl game, so he was obviously my date. We went to Cane Russo with Kelly, Jess, Husband Keith, Emily, Brother David of Emily, Other Jess, Lauren, Brittany and Logan! Such great food (pizza, duh) and toasting of champagne! After dinner most people came back to my place where we had more beverages and terrible cupcakes.

The terrible cupcakes were the worst! I think I'm an ok baker so when I tasted the garbage I presented to my guests, I was quite upset. They were a new take on my always wildly successful strawberry champagne cupcake, however it appears Central Market sold me a bottle of champagne that smelled of (and tasted like) dirty socks. Very frustrating. I now have to prove myself to those people who only know these cupcakes as my baking capabilities.

See, I was having a third "date" on New Years Eve. Justin (from last post) joined us with his friend Darin. How embarrassing that he thinks I make bad cupcakes! Pause.

I was very undecided on Justin coming to New Years Eve. He asked me if he could see me and I thought that was weird because NYE is a holiday. Yes, the worst holiday, but a holiday nonetheless. No one else really thought it was TOO weird because it was only NYE... so, I obliged the masses and invited him out with us. Play.

Me and Nathan on NYE in Dallas!

Most important thing for you to know about the night: I looked very pretty in my dress, tuxedo heels and fake eyelashes.

Husband Keith (of Jess) did a great job of peer pressuring everyone to drink a lot of whiskey so by the time it was time to go to the bar, everyone was having a great time. I was well behaved and did not succumb to peer pressure and casually sipped my vodsod while I discarded the cupcakes. Such a waste.

Anyway, NYE was fabulous, except, they missed midnight. How do you miss midnight on new years?? Sigh.

New Years Day evening was fabulous because that is when I had so much Penn State fun in Dallas! Nan and Dan came down from Tulsa for the Bowl Game and Rohrbach was in town with his friends for the game too! We all met up with Nate at a bar, Nan and Dan rocked the juke box and confirmed that they are dating, and we all cheersed and had the best time ever! We didn't stay out past midnight because our plans for the bowl game were big!

Free DC? Don't mind if we do!

Nan and Dan were staying with me so we woke up at 7am to make eggs, drink mimosas and prepare for the day ahead. Dan had purchased this AMAZING 4 ticket special that got us 4 tickets to the bowl game, 4 hot dogs and 4 diet cokes! Can you imagine anything better? Well, yes: Dan also had a friend that was tailgating so we got to have the full football experience! Justin actually came with us too as the 4th ticket. He was a total trooper... especially because the day started at 7am and didn't end until 11pm. We really raged hard.

Dan is following the sun

Besides watching terrible football and following the sun to stay warm and drinking diet cokes and beers, we did a lot of walking and rode the DART train and went to a beer garden and met up with Erin and Jess and Emily and others. It was still freezing cold, so we continued enjoying bevs and laughing and having the times! By 7pm we realized that we had only noshed on some tailgate bites and a hot dog, so we gathered the group and went to a pizza place that had great pizza and terrible mean service. I mean, pizza is pizza, so you should be a little nice when dropping it on the table, B. Regardless, the company was the times and we just laughed and laughed! By the time 10:30 rolled around I was totally exhausted!

Nan and Dan stayed another night in the Big D and were out the door by 7:30 on Tuesday morning. They paid me so many compliments for being so host-y in the morning. They thought they were in my way while I was getting ready for work so they tried to stay out of my hair. I didn't really notice and they weren't in my way until I went into the kitchen and they were brushing their teeth in the kitchen sink. I explained that this was unnecessary and that they could use the bathroom. N&D took an OJ for the road and that was that! I was SO happy to host them and add Nan to my visitor list and Dan to the repeat visitor list!

When I went to work on that first Tuesday of the New Year, I hadn't been in the office for a very long time because of holiday travel. I didn't even notice as I walked to my cube that ALL OF MY THINGS WERE GONE!

Just some office fun.

This was supposed to be a funny joke they played on me. Like: Hahaha, let's move everything Megan owns and put her in a new cube. I was a little shocked at first because I thought I was getting fired. And then I thought it was funny when I saw my new cube with a bow on it and all of my things moved and organized. I really didn't mind the move, but I couldn't let them know that. Miss Judy was behind the move so while she was out of the office I went to Walmart and spent $5 on wrapping paper, bows and garland and decorated her desk for her.

Got her.

Expectations.

So one of the sups just stopped by to visit me and we were chatting and she said she was out with her friend and she saw a very tall handsome man and she said HE IS CUTE! I HAVE A GIRL FOR HIM! So, she wanted to check and see if I had gotten married, and since I haven't, she said she'll keep an eye out for me.

So we get to chatting and she says, you probably don't even remember that you said this to me...

PANIC.

Has anyone ever said that to you before? I say A LOT of things and don't really count on people remembering what I say. This made me very nervous!

But, apparently I told her at one point that men should be afriad of me because I have very high expectations and that is the way I'm keeping it.

So, she had that rolling around in her mind when she saw her ex (he cheated on her) over the holidays and he asked her to get back together and she internalized for a moment and then said to him: My expectations have changed. We will not work anymore.

Moral: People remember things we don't.

Lesson: Always listen to what you're saying!

Farewell 2011!

Good Day and Welcome to the last blog post of 2011.

I had a terrible thought today, and that thought was: what if this isn't the last blog post of 2011, but the last blog post of abitcattywampus? Silly, I know, but I feel an unnecessary amount of (self) pressure to up my blogging skills, content and occurences. You know, I do listen to what you followers say in casual conversation and you're all a very difficult group to please. If I'm telling wild tales of raging some of you say "Uh, Megan, too long of a post" or "Uh, Megan, we like it better when you complain" or some say "I didn't laugh at that" (cough, Jarrod).  I also am worried that the only person that really reads my blog is my Dad. And, while my Dad is a great follower, he kind of has to read if he's a follower. I mean, I am the oldest and best child. It only makes sense!

What am I getting at here? I think I need to revamp the blog in 2012 if it's going to survive.  I need to be more dedicated to posting. And, I need to think what I'm going to post about. And I need to find 100 followers! And that's what I'm FEELING and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it.

I'll decide at 12:04AM 1/1/2012.

But, since all of that is happening in 2012, here's what I've been busy doing these last few weeks of 2011:

Most immediately, I have a run in my hoe. And what does that mean, exactly? In college, the roommates and I took to some particular speaking habits. We can speak for hours in what will sound like entirely incomplete thoughts in a different language, but we all know what is going on. One of the peculiar things (or so others have told me) was our ability to singuar-ize (new word) things that are usually plural for the singluar. So, like... Pants : Pant. Shoes: Shoe. Hose: Hoe. These may seem like minor changes, but it's enough for an outside listener to think: What? A sentence could be: I couldn't find a pant I liked that matched my shirt. I need a shoe to wear tonight (even though we would definitely be wearing two shoes). Or, I have a run in my hoe (abbreve for hose, abbreve for pantyhose/nylon/tights). This run in my hoe is just about trying to ruin my day. These are BRAND NEW! They were an average of $4, but they are nude and see through but still thick with a very subtle pattern. Perfect for spicing up a work outfit without being out of control. And my new boot has this great zipper on it and just SNAGGED it like SNAGGING is it's job! Which, it is NOT because WALKING is there job. This all happened before 9AM on a great outfit day. Happy Thursday. God.

Transitioning: I did not wear pantyhose when I was home for the holidays. I spent much of my time in sweats, jeans and leggings. I didn't even really pack a work outfit which was terrible because I went into the office and had to dress business casual. I love going into the Pittsburgh office because I have met some wonderful people in that office through my last role. I don't really go in to the office to work - I go in to the office to go to lunch with the ladies. We went to Max and Irma's and I had the chicken tortilla soup and it was fabulous!

Baby Rain also came to visit for the weekend. I cannot say ENOUGH how cute he is! He can work the iPad and iPhone and with a little bit of help has beaten a level of Angry Birds (I'm not bragging or anything.) He also loves remotes and the on/off button on the TV. I, however, really like the Weeble toy we got him that has a crank to get the Weebles to the top of the slide and then they hit a noise maker at the end of the slide and this really great Weebles Wobble But The Don't Fall Down Music plays. Most grown ups play with that toy longer than Baby Rain does.

Miller Family Christmas happens the week before Christmas for as long as I can remember. This was the third annual Cousin's Night Out, celebrated on the Southside and everyone that could be in attendance was! We milked a few uncles for some cash money and my Dad also attended and purchased the first round! We had a lot of fun and were pretty well behaved until Cousin Danny decided to crowdsurf at the bar with all the cousins. The bouncer quickly yelled at Boyfriend Matt (least likely to cause a problem) and the bartender secretly told us that it was pretty impressive that we were able to have him crowd surf for so long. This was at 1:45 and when we all decided Primanti's would be a good idea. It was. And the half I saved for breakfast the next morning was also a great idea!

The big Christmas event for my Mom's side of the family is Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve has always been the favorite holiday of all, until recently. The olds just complicate everything with there whacko planning. I'm not sure if it has always been this way or only recently, but let's be serious: there is no need for my dinner plate to have lasagna, pork roast, roast beef sandwich and stuffed pepper soup on it. Not because that is a lot of food (I had small portions, anyway) but because that DOES NOT GO and requires a LOT of effort. Also, my Aunt Ro's house has a very small basement and she basically shoves us all down there. She doens't actually shove us there, but that is where the food and drinks and chairs are so we don't have much choice to go anywhere else. My aunt also moved the very appropriately placed in a corner day bed and put it in the MIDDLE of the room. I think the idea was "look, now 6 people can sit on the bed instead of 3!" but it was still a TWIN BED in the MIDDLE of the room. It also gave the kids an opportunity to throw themselves on the bed and bounce other people while they were eating, drinking, chatting. It was weird. Also, we do the grabbag. Last year you remember (right?) that I painstakingly folded 25 $1 bills into a christmas wreath as a gift. This year, I was insipred by Parks and Recreation and made a Female TREATCHOSELF! gift that included: Diamonds (fake), Chocolate (covered pretzels) and Champagne (Korbel). My aunt ended up with this present and loved the sparkly bracelet, gave cousin Kelly the champagne and I snatched back those chocolate covered pretzels (yum!). I ended up with some knives - which I was pleased about.

My immediate family opens gifts on Christmas Eve. So after the events of Aunt Rosemary's Christmas Eve we all trecked back to my house (one street away) and searched for wine and after dinner liqour, clicked on the HDTV Yule Log and carols and began to open presents! This year we totally blew my mom's socks off and got her 8 of the wine glasses she loves and would never have got for herself. We wrapped them differently and gave them to her at separate times so she was really surprised - we did a good job! I always complain that I don't have any surprises for Christmas because I'm usually my mother's elf: shopping, wrapping, etc, but this year I did have surprises and got a lovely tortosie Coach boyfriend watch and my sister surprised me with this fake fur I've been adminiring at Macy's. Brother Adam got me all kinds of Steelers gear and Brother Matt asked me to buy myself something so he got me the boots that snagged the hoe I'm wearing today. Dad capped off Christmas by presenting me and Allie with savings bonds that were purchased in our name at birth and are just about done earning interest - woohoo!

The holiday was a total success and I had a great time being home! Although, I'm glad to be back in Dallas and attempting to reestablish some type of routine! The rest of 2011 will be spent on chores and mini projects and reading. Oh, and then I guess I'll also ring in the New Year with some lovely friends!

2011, you were The Times. 2012, the bar's been set high!

the unthinkable...

I'm getting ready to leave Dallas!

Do you feel like all I do is blame my lack of updating on travel plans?? Because I do! Lot's of back and forth this fourth quarter, and if things go my way... a trip to visit girlfriend Sarah for MLK weekend, a business trip back to Chattanooga at the end of January and perhaps another girls trip with Ashley and Kim to California in February or March will lead me right into all the bridal goodness to celebrate bride-to-be Allison in Philadelphia will take me pretty much through June! But, that's ok... because that's the only way I'd have it.  Now that I have the iPhone with much improved touch screen capabilities for enhanced texting, perhaps I'll figure out how to work the blogger app. Perhaps.

So, when we lasted chatted I told you I was online dating. This is true. I was winking and messaging with the best of them. And I even set up 3 dates with humans who passed the initial scan. I actually had to stop going on match.com becuase the amount of emails and winks is totally overwhelming. For the most part, there is a LOT of weeding out to do ... for every ten winks/messages recieved, I'd say there is only one worth responding to. And then, that person will soon enough prove themselves to be boring or something like that.

The problem with all of this activity is that I really enjoy my non activity time. My work day is fairly stressful with the new job and managing 20 people and having no idea what they do and they escalate everything and....

it's just a lot of anxiety.

So, to come home and watch some type of reality tv, enjoy my dinner, putz on gchat or read a book... well. I really love doing that. Especially after a vacation. And these dates were just cramping my style. So I decided to do the three and not go back online until January.

First date was with Wade who appeared much younger in person than in photos - but I could still see the resemblance so I wasn't so mad about that. He was very dull. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had no problem stirring up conversation but he was just... blah. OH! And, he admitted that one of his favorite movies is How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days. Now one of my dating questions is: So, what kind of movies do you like? I'm not a movie buff or anything, but pretty sure that is a weird movie for a 32 year old man to mention as a favorite during a first date.

Second date was with Patrick who appeared just as expected and was early (but, I was also late). He was funny and friendly and alluded to second date, but I was pleased when no text message game and didn't have to think of an excuse. I think both of us decided it was more friendly than romantic. He would be a good friend though because our conversation ended with discussing duck suicides at Niagra falls - I think that means he gets it.

Third date was with Justin who is 6'4 and was a few minutes late to the bar. But, we had great chat chat chatting for almost 4 hours. He even walked me all the way to my car, which was in the total opposite direction of his car. Texting occured and we went on a second date on Friday.

Pause.

I do not second date. I think there is something wrong with me, but I just don't do it. Why? Any number of reasons: he was short, he was weird, he liked the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, he blinks a lot, he wore cargo shorts, etc. However, there was no major red flag with Justin so second date occurred.

Play.

He was a perfect gentleman, opening doors picked up the check and offered me his arm to hold while walking. More great chat chat chatting and we visited three establishments. At the final stop of the night, we did the unthinkable. And because I know it is unacceptable, I'm going to put it out there and take the ridicule:

We sat on the same side of the booth/table.

I know, I know, I knowwwww. That is the WORST! Gag, barf - right!? But, I did sit on the same side as him and I feel like I need to admit to this totally out of character behavior and take appropriate actions to stop doing that. I mean, I knew this was bad, but I continue to be reminded after I admit the situation to multiple people and they all go: OH MY GOD. Are you kidddddddddding me!!??

Sigh. I did it. We have also chatted since then, and suspect a third date is likely after the holidays. I'm perfectly ok with this.

That takes us through Friday, and then on to Saturday, which was the girls celebration dinner! Emily and Jessica (Follower 82 and 83) are EXTREME planners and they, with the help of roommate Erin, planned a lovely reservation for 15 lovely ladies at St. Anne's. It was such a fun night! Now, I'm going to be modest and not tell you that we were the prettiest table in the whole damn restaurant or that we were definitely having the most fun in the restaurant or that you totally missed out on a phenom Christmas celebration, I'm just going to tell you the truth:

We were all dressed in our sparkles and holiday attire to celebrate Christmas and we drank a lot of wine. (Really, a lot). It was a really great holiday celebration and I'm very much looking forward to a New Years Eve celebration with some of these ladies!

Before we get to New Years, I'm off to Pittsburgh to celebrate Christmas! Things to look forward to: Rian's second visit to Pittsburgh, being Pete's date to his office party that he already told me is going to be terrible, the 3rd Annual Cousin's Night Out party, Miller Christmas, Pederson Christmas and hopefully, lots of shopping and baking!

So, before I get out of here, I need to set some follower business straight: I double counted cousin Ryan as follower 83. That is wrong. Follower 83 is Jessica (roommate of Follower 82, Emily) and was MOVED to follow after me asking her to do so in the last post. Jessica 2 is fabulous in the same fashion Emily is fabulous (they are "rooms") and Jess wins "prettiest" award from Saturday's dinner (she had GREAT hair)! I'm so happy Jessica is joining us as 83!

Pittsburgh Highlights

I am back in Dallas and it feels great! I'm not saying that to upset my Mother (which, if she's reading this, it probably will) but, it is so exhausting being away from your bed and your shower and your accessories and shoes! So, I'm back! In my bed, with my shampoo and my earrings and my pillows and it's just what I wanted.

So, you know I've been nonstop for ... 3??? weeks! I've been in Pittsburgh most of that time and then I had to go to our Boubonnais office which is south of Chicago. And then before that I was in Chattanooga and I think Phoenix. And... It's just been a very busy time of travel! But, thankfully, the only trip I have left this year is back to Pittsburgh for Christmas - and I can handle that.

So, Pittsburgh highlights:

1) The Flight. Success. Great book. Great tunes. 10pm arrival. All was right in the world! The book I was reading is called "All but for the" by Ali Smith and it's about a dinner guest's plus 1 that leaves the table and locks himself in a room in the house and communicates, occassionally, by sending a note under the door. It's very witty and made me chuckle, but I must confess, the end confused me. I would recommend it to a real reader and not a casual reader. I would not recommend purchasing it, just ask me and you can borrow it!

2) Thanksgiving. For whatever family reasons there are, we separated Thanksgiving this year between my Grandma and her sister's family. This is the first ever. Very disappointing because now that all of the cousins, for the most part, are drinking age and have been on their own a little bit.. the kid table is so fun! This year we missed cousin Patrick, who is definitely the wildcard. Either way, we had a great kids table dinner and Nanny made me a special chocolate pie for dessert since I hate all other Thanksgiving desserts. Imean, dessert is not dessert unless there is chocolate. So all those pies? YOU CAN SHOVE THEM UP YOUR BUTT!

3) The Office. Last year, you may recall, my family had two popular holiday sayings: HEY YOU, WOODCHUCK, QUIT CHUCKING MY WOOD! and CHRISTMAS IS RUINED. This year it is "AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT" to quote our favorite office character, Stanley. Well, ok, Stanley is not our favorite, Dwight is, but... we aren't quoting Dwight, are we? No dinner is complete without a long story and a suggestion for a better way to do something that ends with screaming out AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT. It's similar to tourettes, but on purpose, so actually, it is totally different.

4) The Grandparents, aka "the olds".  The olds moved in with my parents and I suppose some type of routine is being discovered in the house. I would say the highlights of the routine are: Wake up. Grandma doesn't feel well and Poppy needs breakfast. Take Grandma's blood pressure with the blood pressure tool in the living room. The blood pressure tool is actually a very fun exercise for the entire family and has been made into a game: who has the best blood pressure? Answer: Not my dad. Lots of watching TV. Ellen, The Stew, Bold and the Beautiful. If it's on ABC, they're watching it. Unless they press the wrong button on the remote, which they do (often) and then someone has to fix the color/channel/volume/power/caption/laungage/etc. Lunch. My grandma doesn't eat a lot so we push Ensure on her and my poppy says he doesn't want lunch but always eats cheese crackers or apple slices. The rest of the day is more TV. Sometimes my poppy takes a "walk" which is either circling the center of the house three times or walking down the driveway and back up to the house. He uses a cane, but "use" isn't the right word since all he does is drag it behind him. More TV. More on/off TV troubleshooting. Dinner. Grandma never wants anything for dinner but we have to make her eat something which she usually makes faces about and makes the entire process exhausting. Poppy is a good eater and cleans his plate. Grandma does not like AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT said at the dinner table, she shakes her head. Poppy laughs. He gets it. He's funny. After dinner is ice cream time. The olds LOVE ice cream. It is the only thing my grandma eats without complaining. And if grandma gets it, poppy gets it too. And since I'm scooping the ice cream... well.. ok, I'll just have a scoop or two also. The other fun part of the day is answer the same questions for my grandma. The big question is "What do you want for Christmas?" and I say "Diamonds. Big ones. 3 karats for my ears." This leads into a discussion about if I deserve them (apparently not) and that she might get herself some diamonds (not going to happen because she lost the last diamonds). And then there is a pause and she says "What do you want for Christmas?" And the second time she asks I'll usually say "I want $10 more than you are giving to Matt". And then the next time she says "What do you want for Christmas?" I say "Diamonds". And that goes on ALL. DAY. LONG. It's Groundhog Hour. And I'mnot getting any diamonds.

5) The Times. The Times were had a few nights. I went to a 90s Party with Peter and it was really so funny because, in addition to 90's attire like starter jackets, they had put beanie babies EVERYWHERE, huggies, kool-aid squeezers and gushers. Top notch. I do love seeing Peter when I'm in Pittsburgh but hate when he doesn't shave his face. Which he didn't. Which I suggested he should. Which he didn't. I went out with Sister Allie and Brother Matt on Wednesday and SOME STRANGER TUGGED MY HAIR AND SAID "Is this natural?" To which I said "It's natural, and it's amazing." To which he said "Don't get a big head" To which I SHOULD have said "Don't get a big nose... oh... wait.." but I actually said "It's not ego, it's a fact" and then that was that. He had a giant nose, really. And then On Friday I went out with my Dad and Brother Matt and Cousin Patrick to the Southside and saw MK, fiance Tom, Kolan and Gio. Within 30 minutes of getting there, Cousin Patrick, who had been drinking vodka since 2pm, was kicked out of the bar and we had to leave. But, we got primatis which, I consider a successful night.

6) Online Dating. I'm doing it, and I've had three dates. That will be my next update!

online dating

Great news, humes! I'm online dating. I haven't decided how much I'm going to share with you.... actually, who am I kidding? I have no boundaries.


Here's the deal - I have a SIX month subscription to match.com. Yes. This is serious. I figure if I spend the rest of the year practicing my online "winking" and messaging, I'll be good to go by January. Why is January such an important month? Because I expect everyone to go home for the holidays and their family will ask them all kinds of annoying things like "Are you dating anyone? No.. oh.." and "Oh, so and so is engaged" or "So and so is expecting twins!" and everyone will feel just AWFUL about themselves. And they will say: "That is it! Effective January 1st I am changing my life and I'm doing it with online dating!!!"


And there I'll be.


Waiting.


With a wink. Or something. I haven't quite figured it all out yet.


Here's what I do know:


1) Filters are amazing. Now that I've set email filters, old men can no longer email me. I was getting way too many "Heyyyy purty lady" from 50 somethings in nowhere Texas. Really weird. Now, that is gone. Phew!


2) Most people did not complete grade school. I mean, why else would you still say "u" for "you", "aiiight" for "alright" or "2" for "to" if you knew any grammar at all??


3) Messages don't really creep me out, but they do make me feel sad for the sender. Not sad enough to sympathy date, but sad enough to feel bad for them.


4) Match says NO for you! You just click the "no thanks" button and it sends this generic email that says "Sorry, I don't think we are a good fit. Good luck!" and that is that!


Here are some of the messages I've received:


Ding Ding Ding!! And the winner is "You".. Please email to collect your prize. "Me"... Making you laugh & smile is in my DNA :) Let's see if I can pull you off this thing?


Gag. Ser.


Heard you were looking for me! Lol. Lame line, sorry. Just wanted to say hello.


Regardless of this being a capital-L LAME line, have a little confidence, gosh. 


are you a steeler fan? Do you like regulard Coca Cola?


Regulard? REALLY!?


Hi, Im Ryan. This daily matches thing says we have the same birth month. What day is your birthday? Mine is June 12th. Well, read your profile and wanted to say hi.


Birthday month? Maybe you should try a lame line...


I read your profile 
and thought we might be a good match. 
I am fairly neat, loving animal, laid back 
enjoy life... 
I am not here for game, but a start of a serious relationship 
if you want to get to know each other better 
prehaps we can spend a little time together over a dinner or lunch. 


Now, you know my feelings on minorities, and the email above is clearly from an ESL student. However, match.com has helped me decide that on my list of priorities grammar comes before ethnicity. 


More to come!

Be responsible, folks!

The past few days have been a whirlwind. I think I love traveling, but I hate the exhausted feeling I have once I finally get to sit down and think about everything! I'm taking sleep very seriously when I am in my bed. But now I'm filled with constant anxiety that the fire alarm is going to go off. WHY? Well, I'll tell you: the fire alarm went off the other week and I've decided I'm traumatized by it.

See, what had happened was I was sleeping. I don't know what cycle of sleep I was in, but I start dreaming this demonic voice. And I'm slowly stirring and when I finally get my eyes open and I can process things I see Roommate Erin in my room. She TOTALLY SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME and I scream. And she screams back. And then she says "We need to go!".

How does Roommate Erin know we need to go? Well, our apartment building has THE. LOUDEST. emergency talking alarm thing. The woman who delivers the message does so with an irritating beep that pierces your ears. She says things like: THIS. IS. AN. EMERGENCY. PLEASE. EVACUATE. THE. BUILDING. IF YOU ARE DISABLED, FOLLOW YOUR DISABLED EVACUATION PLAN. THIS. IS AN. EMERGENCY. etc. The voice is terrifying because you cannot think about anything. Which makes it hard to leave the house.

Anyway, Roommate Erin (so level headed) says "I'm going to check if other people are leaving."

Pause: Our building has a poor history of the fire alarm sounding for NO reason. This is the 3rd time I've been woken up by the alarm, but the first time the alarm has happened at night time.

While Erin checks the door, I struggle to find a sweatshirt to go outside (totally forgetting it's 60 degrees out). I then hear Erin scream: MEGAN! WE. HAVE. TO. GO. THERE IS SMOKE!

So now the fire is real! Erin and I TAKE OFF like MANIACS running down the stairs.She's holding her shoes and sans glasses, and I'm still not really awake and thinking that I'm so glad I have renter's insurance. There is total chaos outside. People are out in their pj's, dogs are fighting, police and fire trucks are arriving and the entire situation seems very serious, except for the fact that we are all standing right next to the building so there must not be a fire.

Annoying.

After 45 minutes we are allowed back upstairs and our floor definitely smells like smoke. So I know we weren't crazy. When we get in the apartment it occurs to me we did not lock our doors and this makes me slightly panicked. Ok, really panicked. I check all closets, showers and the balcony to look for an intruder. I'm certain this would have been a perfect opportunity for them to break in and kill us in the night. Thankfully, no intruder was found.

My adrenaline was really going crazy with the loud noises, the dog fight and the hypothetical intruder that I could hardly fall back to sleep. The next morning was rough.

The next afternoon all residents received an email titled "Fire Alarm" which thanked us for exiting the building so quickly and efficiently (they must have seen me and Erin running for our lives) and then provided some helpful "hints" for apartment living. My favorite was: A responsible adult should monitor the kitchen at all times when cooking to prevent food from burning.  


Someone on the 4th floor is clearly irresponsible. Not I. Or Erin.


Uh! That was exhausting reliving that terrible alarm. I'll blog about Wurstfest and Chattanooga later this week!

Baby Rain!

Here I am! Just a few short days after my last post! Could I be back on a roll???

We'll discuss posting regularities later - let's focus on my adorable nephew first:

Isn't he the sweetest thing in the entire world?? He just turned 1 in Septemeber and I got to spend a day with him, Brother Adam and my Mother when I was in Pittsburgh. We went to the Olive Garden. And Target. We laughed and made coo-ing noises and probably annoyed other tables. Did I care one bit? Nope. He really was the cutest thing in that silly restaurant! We were totally oblivious to everyone else in that restaurant and did everything I scowled at when I was a waitress. We made sure the waitress knew she was interrupting us when she asked if we needed anything. We let him throw everything on the floor, and then left it there. I know these are sins as a former waitress, but I don't care one bit. I was just having the times with this sweet little button who, remarkably, can use a cell phone.

He was playing with the cell phone and my mom called it so it would vibrate and ring and he managed to 1) deny the call and 2) send an auto text that said "I'm in a meeting" back to my mother. Handsome and smart? Oh lord.

Ok, so I know gushing about a baby is the most annoying thing ever - especially when no matter what you say I will never believe there is a cuter one out there. But, I just want to show off those beautiful blue eyes and that smile that I can't wait to see again in November!

Great, breaking news: 3 new followers!

79: Cousin Ryan Miller! Cousin Ryan and Wife Jaci are going to be parents any day now, so cousin Ryan is probably not going to be reading this ever again. But that's ok.

80: LeBlanc is also known as Friend Jeffrey who lived with me and Erin for a week. He was a wonderful house guest and paid compliments when they were wanted (for example, my homemade strawberry champagne cupcakes). He also did not complain about the fact that I set 3 alarms (all of which you can hear in the living room) and snooze them for 30 minutes.

81: Emily! Emily is so southern (and pretty) and she a ran over a raccoon once when I was in her car! And she is such a great friend in Dallas, and now that she's following I expect her to get the also so great Jess to be my 82nd follower!

Who will be 83 then??

Nature

Let me tell you something: Phoenix is LOVELY in October!

I got to go to Phoenix two weekends ago for work. It was sunny and a cool 95. And I was just loving life and that temperature. October in Phoenix is why people move there. They think "Oh my gosh, this is AMAZING! And the cost of living? WOW! I should move here!". And then they move there. And they LOVE LIFE until July, August and September. And they think "Oh my gosh, this is AWFUL AND I WANT TO DIE!" because the heat is so (SO!) terrible. I don't care that everyone goes "it's a dry heat". Yea, yea, yea. My oven is a dry heat and you don't see me hanging out in there - do you?

Either way, I loved being in Phoenix! And, because I had to be there at the end of one week and the beginning of the next, me and friend (and peer) Priyanka stayed through the weekend with three other people that are in our program: Chris, Karina and Dave. Karina is the only one that reads my blog, but I'm going to tell you about all of them.

Chris: Chris is my favorite person in my program. That is all.

Dave: Dave is my least favorite person. That is all.

Karina: Karina is so funny I can't stand it. She's going to be blogging soon and I can't wait to share that post with you. We're also both going to do match.com (more on that later). Anyway, if you're ever in Phoenix (or if you know a tall, dark, single, Trinidad-ian (is that right, Karina?)... send him her way!)

So, we stayed with them and on Saturday we went to Sedona and stayed in Flagstaff on Saturday night. And then on Sunday we went to the Grand Canyon and then on Monday morning me and Priyanka were at work bright and early!

Let's talk trip details:

*The Ford Fiesta: WORST. CAR. EVER. Worst car ever ESPECIALLY for a 4 person (Chris, my favorite, did not come) road trip. I mean, our knees were in our chins. We could not pass other cars. When I accelerated to 45mphs the car hit 5000RPMS!! Stupid Fiesta. Don't ever get one.

*Team Front Seat/Team Back Seat: The majority of the trip was divided into two teams: Front Seat/Back Seat. Me and Karina were team Front Seat and Dave/Priyanka were team Back Seat. Karina and I get along very well and Dave irritates both of us so it was nice to put him out of sight and just laugh and sing and drive the stupid Fiesta.

*Sedona: Beautiful! Really and truly breathaking and I don't say that about too much scenery (I hate nature). We saw the Chapel in the side of the rock mountain thing (I'm no good at details) and we went to some of the touristy shops and we got touristy ice cream - WHICH - they were out of CHOCOLATE AND VANILA! I mean, really? Stupid ice cream store - you should ALWAYS have the basics. Come on.

*Pink Jeep Tour: We did a PJT in Sedona and it was SO. MUCH. FUN! That is the kind of nature I like! We were bouncing around and hitting 25 mphs and going up and down rocks. And our tour guide, Mr. Alan, for the most part put up with us even if he didn't tell us all kinds of stories or find us a rattlesnake. Mr. Alan has no patience and his wife tells him so and he's sorry he didn't wait for us to look at the camera for our picture but it's time to get back in the Jeep! God, Mr. Alan.

*Flagstaff: We stayed in Flagstaff on Saturday night and that was great. We found an Italian BYOB restaurant convienently located next to a wine store and we enjoyed a sampler of a bunch of things at the table. It was a nice dinner with the Adele record (yes! record!) playing in the background and a good wind-down from the day. I was sleeping by 9pm and it was incredible.

*Drive to Grand Canyon: When we woke up the next morning for a 8am departure to the GC, I almost forgot how much I hated the Ford Fiesta. Well, guess what? I still HATED THE FORD FIESTA ON SUNDAY! But, we saw AWESOME roadkill on the drive to the GC including an elk (or maybe a moose? What's the difference)!!! OMG! The roadkill was HUGE! Really, SO big.

*Grand Canyon: We had lovely weather for the GC. I've heard horror stories of people getting there and it being cold and foggy and you can't see anything! Well - we could see everything! There were so many tourists too! And we really enjoyed the view and I was having so much fun!.... for 25 minutes. See, the problem with the GC is that all it is is ROCK. There is only SO MUCH ROCK I CAN LOOK AT! But they said "no, no, you have to see it from another angle". And I said "Ok". But from the other angle it was still rock and by the end of the three hour adventure I was maxxed out on rock. But, I can check it off my list!

And, that my friends, was the Grand Canyon! Next up: a weekend in Pittsburgh and meeting my nephew!

Jambalaya is so good!

I'm blogging from a hotel room in Phoenix. And I had Chinese delivered to me for dinner. I feel really weird about the entire situation, but I don't have a rental and it was the takeout menu on top. Dinner came with a 32 oz DC, and that makes me feel better. I cannot figure out how to work this TV and now I'm stuck on Wheel of Fortune. My life is not what I want it to be. I'll tell you what I SHOULD have done - I should have said hello two the two handsome men in the elevator with me that had some type of foreign accent. I could have said *smile* "Where are y'all from?" *smile*. (That is me being charming.)

BUT! I didn't. The SuperShuttle had me a bit flustered since it took way too long and the man was 90 and drove 25 mph, including turns in front of traffic. He also asked me if I was married, to which I said no, and then he asked me if I wanted to get married. My first proposal. On an Arizona highway. In a big blue van. To a 90 year old. I politley declined.



Anway, so I'm here in this Chinese smelling hotel room and I wanted to blog becuase I realized I haven't told you about my last 2 weekends! And I wanted to tell you now because I have two more exciting weekends coming up!

Two weekends ago me and Erin went to Houston. We visited her Brother Matt and I also visited Matt McCowan and Girlfriend Ashley. The best part of the trip was seeing Estrada who wants to be an umpire when he grows up and was practicing his strike calls at the bar. He might be the funniest person I know. I don't even know what we did all weekend! Erin made pizza, we visted a few establishments, we watched the Steelers LOSE! God. That was sad. It was me and one other lone ranger cheering for the Steelers at brunch and it was a sad, sad loss. The bonus of the day was our waitor did not charge us for our bottomless mimosas which we had a lot of. It's hard to say exactly how many we had because he kept taking the glass away and giving you a new one - even if you weren't done. I had lots of halfsies and only one full one that I was allowed to keep because I was holding on to the stem of the glass. Regardless! Free mimosas taste great!



Last weekend me and Kelly took work off on Friday and went to visit Erin in her hometown of Ethel, outside of Baton Rouge. O-m-g. Her house is beautiful and her family is so fun! They had an unreal amount of food, which included a pizza cookoff between mom and daughter. (There is a lot of pizza in my life lately). I voted Team Mom, most especially because she made tomato basil soup from scratch and it was amazing. Seriously - amazing. I got the recipie and we made plans to make it for my next boyfriend (HA) with a fancy grilled cheese sandwich. Lots of laughing over dinner!



Jambalaya in a cooler - YUM!




The next morning was huge excitement because that was the kickoff of the "Who is more Southern" competition between me and Kelly. The night prior Kelly was pretty confident that I was going to lose because of my sassy tude, but I was confident that my big curls and boots would give me a leg up. We tailgated ALL DAY at LSU and even got tickets to the game!! The day was so fun! I was mostly controlling my sass and was not being assigned any negative points in the Southern competition. I EVEN tried: jambalya, boudin and gator! The jambalaya was SO good and I said this to Erin and her mom. They took one look at the container and said "It's a mix.". Mix or scratch - I enjoyed it big time. We also got these beverages called Rednecks which are 32 oz frozen jack and cokes = amazing tailgating beverage, great for walking and sipping.



Gator - not so yum!



The day was a total success and no one would give me bonus Southern points but they did give me Texan points. Which, apparently, are different. And I guess I should know that now that I live in Texas: Texas is not the South. Texas is not the West. Texas is Texas.



Southern Belles with our Rednecks



I did lose 4,500 points when this guy that was OBSESSED with my height kept talking and talking and talking about how tall I was and did I play volleyball and blah blah blah. Now, don't get me wrong- I love being tall. But I did not (and do not) want to spend 15 minutes talking about it. So, I said to him, "Do people talk to you a lot about how short you are?" To which he responded nothing. So I kept going "Because if you want to talk about my height so much, maybe we should talk about yours?". Then, because I am in the South, he tried to apologize to me instead of calling me a total B like anyone else would have done, That made me feel a little bit bad, but I was over it. I retold the story to Kelly, and that is when we determined the negative 4,500 points which, I think, made me lose the game.

We ended up sleeping at Sister Mollie's place by campus (which, PS, they keep a tiger on campus!). Kelly and I had to sleep in our clothes which included jeggings that were dirty from the day. When we woke up, we decided that Southern girls wear dresses to tailgates so they can sleep out and be comfortable. Next LSU game, I think you'll see both of us in dresses.

So, that was that! Except, the 8 hour car ride back to Dallas with Kelly in which we prayed for a Taco Bueno, but never found one. I think that is how I also know I'm Texan: I crave fast food tacos. We were also sans iPod and iPhone so Kelly had to listen to my unmarked mixed and soundtrack CDs. Things started off promising with Myriah Carey, but quickly went downhill when Love Mix #2 was picked - the worst of all the love mixes. Anyway, lots of laughing occurred the entire way home and I give Kelly 4,500 points for being a great car trip partner!

Now I'm in Phoenix for work. I'm here with Priyanka who is friend AND peer at work so we're staying through the weekend with other friends that live here and plan on making a trip to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I am unsure yet if I need to wear tennis shoes to this event, and also, if the 99 degree weather wil be uncomfortable or not. EITHER WAY! I am charging my camera (something I haven't done in years) and effective immediately, I'm going to start taking pictures. And uploading. Prom. (Abbreve for promise.)

Autumn in Dallas

I don't know if I appreciated Autumn in Dallas last year or not. It may have something to do with the nonstop 100 plus degrees days this summer, but I can't be sure. Anyway, this weather is BEAUTIFUL right now. I wake up and it's 65, I enjoy lunch outside and it's 80, I walk to the car after work and it's 90.  I'm in love with Texas in October!

Since it's fall, I'm going to make my first batch of chili sans seasoning packet. All from scratch (except, the canned, diced tomatoes).  I included a splash (or two) of Shiner and I'm simmering all night. I cannot wait! The apartment smells so tasty!

In other news, they are driving me crazy at work. I think they are doing it intentionally because they know next week I will have to have other priorities. So, on top of them squeezing everything out of me, we had a repeat project that I usually have two weeks to complete, but this time around I only have one week. It's a lot, but nothing I can't handle (obviously). However, the rest of them cannot handle this intense pace and have taken to asking me if I've had my rabies shot. THEY SAID THAT TO ME! They also snapped a photo of me while I was bossing one of the ladies around and telling her I was going to throw all of her things away if they were left behind. I was very serious about throwing crap away that they didn't think was important enough to move within 8 hours, but apparently some people thought I should be concerned about the possibilities of "family heirlooms" being thrown away. Whatever. I don't care and I was just doing my thing - getting stuff done! Well, they snapped this picture and then sent it to my manager and peer with the title "Watch out... she's in a mood!". Do I think this is rude? No. My reply "Nothing is safe. Watch your back."

They'll miss me so much. Just wait.

While I was looking for that work picture, I found this gem from a wedding I was in... however many moons ago it was. Are you embarrassed for him? I was wearing flats. Also, there were other groomsmen who were over 6' feet tall. Worst. Matching. Ever. Poor guy. He was a good sport about the entire awkward situation - we even did a slow dance together! Allison: Please note, for your June wedding, that I'm so excited for, I would appreciate a date that was about my height. Within a 3 inch range. Please. Don't make me post another awkward picture next June. Please!!!

Back in action!

I have SO MUCH to blog about!!!

For starters, I got a NEW job!!! A promotion, per se. And, I'm only saying "per se" there to sound coy, even though that is not really a coy sentence and I'm not really a coy person. But anyway, new job starts 10/10 and I have to do some job share with my existing job so I will have a very busy 4th quarter. But, I cannot say how TICKLED (yes, I'm using the word tickled) I am to start this new job! I'm doing big things, humes (abbreve for humans). BIG! Speaking of big....

When I went to visit the office where my new manager is, I parked next to a big-ass-Texas truck with an AWESOME monster on the side. Scary.


But, the BIG things won't start until the 10th. And this week all of the supervisors and directors and people that create work for me are out of the office, so I've stumbled into some free time, which I am using to be productive and get some things off the back burner. The most important item is deleting emails. My favorite thing to do is to delete my deleted items and yesterday I purged 1,500 emails! Do you know what a relief that is? If you haven't permanently deleted an email lately- DO IT! It's AMAZING! My inbox is at 71. My inbox has not been at 71 for AGES! I'm so happy about that. Today I deleted my "sent" emails. There were 3,000 emails in there. 3,000!!!! WHO NEEDS TO SAVE THOSE EMAILS? Consider them purged. I feel so LIGHT!

Sans stach, thank you very much.

What else is going on? I got my eyebrows waxed today. I know, who cares? Well, let me tell you why I care. I go to these Asian salons (xoxo Asia) and these women in their broken English ask me what I want and I point to my eyebrows and I saw "Wax. Clean up.". If they say anything else I don't really understand I just look at them and smile. Well, today they said "Lip too?" BITCH! NO I DON'T WANT MY LIP WAXED BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A MUSTACHE! That is, I feel, the most offensive thing someone can ask in a salon. I don't know if she is IMPLYING I have a mustache, but I do not. And to prove it, there's a picture of my upper lip that is not flattering of my nose (but I am confident with the size of my nose, so I'm posting that picture anyway.)

Disclaimer: If you think I need to wax my upper lip, TELL ME. Don't let me walk around with a stache! But those salons are just trying to STEAL MY MONEY. No tip for them.

The other thing I wanted to tell you about was me. (Duh). Last week, or something, friend Natalie (TNCLFM) sent an email talking about a great hair day and the fact that a stranger on the street complimented her. She ended this email with "I felt like Megan". This made me think: Doesn't everyone get compliments from strangers on their gorgeous manes? Apparently not. For all of my readers (following and not), you know how great my hair is. I've only received one comment that made me cry, but now that Jarrod thinks that it was his insult and uses it all the time... I'm immune to it. And, the number of compliments I receive from strangers far outweighs the recurring insult Jarrod likes to toss my way, on a regular basis, for no reason.

So, my count for hair comments is 1 mean, thousands of nice and 2 weird comments. Let me tell you about the two weird comments. The first one was an Asian (if I was guessing, I'd say he was Chinese) man in NYC that sniffed my hair at the bar and was caught doing it (creep). And then last weekend at the bar this man in cargo shorts (gross!) pet my hair. Pet it. Like I was a dog. Twice. PET MY HEAD AND TOUCHED MY HAIR! That was really weird. But, I think both "weirds" count toward the thousand of nice compliments (if you subtract the creepy).

What I'm saying to you is, I've been really busy lately emailing and preparing for my new job and combing my hair. BUT! It doesn't stop there! I made these strawberry champagne cupcakes with a new whipped frosting last weekend. I made them for someone's birthday at work, but I REALLY made them for all the compliments. I love watching people enjoy my delectable desserts and giving me so many compliments on how great my tasty treats are. Don't they look beautiful!!?? You want one.

double rice

Friend Leigh just started blogging and you should check it out here: ellefoster.blogspot.com

You shouldn't follow it, unless you are already following my blog. If she gets more than 50 followers I plan on removing this post to prevent her from getting more followers than me.

Anyway, Leigh is blogging under the guide of less than 250 words a day and she has pretty much stuck with that... except weekends and last Friday. Today's blog was about Spanish or Mexican food (I'm truly unsure of the difference) and I thought this was very timely for MY life. See - I love Mexican rice. I hate the beans so I always get double rice when I'm out to eat and I love every bite of it. Last night I was thinking of the taste of Mexican rice in my mouth so much so that I, out loud, wished for a Spanish/Mexican friend who would make me their abuela's special recipe for rice!

Then I thought about all my Asian friends and how useless they are for fried rice and completely dismissed that thought about the Spanish/Mexican.

Although Leigh has a culinary background, she is also useless when it comes to fried rice because she buys long grain rice and... WHO has the patience to wait for that to cook?