Bachelor Finale

Tonight is the night of the Bachelor season finale. More important than who actually wins, are the phone calls I receive from Nanny.

Call 1: Meg! Are you watching? It is three hours. I checked the TV Guide and it said it goes until 11! Three hours! I've got Poppy on his chair and I'm on the couch! Ok! It's on! Buh Bye! Love you!
Call 2: Meg! Did you see that commercial? They are announcing the Bachelorette on Jimmy Kimmel! I told Poppy: I am staying up late to watch that. Ok! Bye!
Call 3: Meg! I was reading the magazine and iy says Emily is a phony. It says she is not an event planner and they were kinder to Chantel! You know, her dad has all that money. He is probably paying them! Did you know Emily was running around with that guy when she was 15?! She doesn't even let the grandparents see Ricky. It's back on! Good night, love you!!
I hope I get at least two more calls before the show is over! Nanny always has all the extra details that I don't get from the show!!

Also, a new installment of Meet My Followers is coming this week. Except, during the interview I forgot to ask him about the gay mafia. Once I have more information, I'll be posting.

Shorter

Angelo: see, you are so much more interesting to talk to than read your writing

no offense

Angelo thinks I should get right to the point. Here are two points:

1) That was my second linkedin love connection. The first one connected with me and then denied me. My self esteem was hurt, but it is TYOTD (The Year Of The Dima) so I recovered quickly. The second linked in is a bartender AND a masseuse - what is he doing on linked in? He also has only ONE connection.

2) Yesterday at work, a 50 year old woman (not a hot 50 year old woman) asked me, while in the elevator, to hook her unhooked bra strap. This was weird. I did it.

Linked

It's no surprise to any of you, or anyone not reading, that I love boys. And, I think it's fair to say I have a pretty decent following of people in general life that are interested in any major status updates on my dating life because, well, I'm so vocal. So, last week when traveling for business to recruit at UNC it was not weird when my Program Director asked me how the boys were treating me in Dallas. And, I had to be very honest with him and say "They just aren't tall enough". Which, is total crap. I mean, first off there is supposed to be this great population of single men in Dallas when compared to other cities and second off don't they feed children here steak and milk their entire life and they should all be 6'6? I guess not.


Anyway, this was asked of me while enjoying a beverage and having a great discussion after dinner. And the bartender, Ryan, was being such a great server. And so patient. But when I told the PD that there were no men I was interested in in Texas, he felt like it would be a good idea to ask the bartender, in Chapel Hill, where all the men were in Dallas. This does not make any sense. We laugh it off and then Kim and I make the eyes like "let's wrap this up" and then we quickly vacate the hotel bar.


We change and primp for our evening of undergrad fun and go back downstairs and pick the brain of the concierge and the bartender, Ryan, about where we should go. Chat chat chatting, cab arrives and we head out. We did not have such the exciting time being undergrads, but we did some great people watching and also met Ross who is not an undergrad but has a movie star face and terrible (terrible) hair. He promised me he would cut it the next day. If he does, I think he will become a movie star - he was that handsome!


Alright, so we get home, pass out, wake up, head to breakfast. Program Director reappears and starts spilling the beans that when Ryan returned the check he told him that "Wow! I'll move to Texas!" or something equally embarrassing. We laugh about this over breakfast but Kim quickly hogs the rest of the conversation with her bout of "food poisoning". 


Ok. So the story ends, right?


WRONG!


Last night, I'm snuggled in my bed. Just reading! And I get to the perfect stopping point... my eyes are heavy, a chapter just ended, it's after 9:30 so I don't feel like a loser going to be already and.... I hear "DROID". And I think, UH! GOD! What NOW!?


Droid notifies me of an email which says: LinkedIn, Ryan has indicated you are a friend.


At this point, I have no recollection of Ryan from UNC and I think it is the non-husband Leigh met at the bar on Saturday in Baltimore. And then I am totally creeped out because I'm like - Oh. My. God. How does he even know who we are? But, then I keep reading and it hits me - Oh. My. God. This is the bartender from UNC.


His message is: Enjoyed meeting you last week. I did look for you out that night, but I couldn't find you ladies anywhere. Hope you were able to find the party. I know we didn't talk much when you were here... but let me know if you'd be interested in changing that. This is Ryan from the Sienna. 


I literally wanted to pee myself I was laughing so hard at this message. I automatically forwarded it to Kim who points out he spelled the name of the HOTEL HE WORKS AT WRONG. Seriously? If you're going to link-in some game, use the spell checker, right??? So, now I'm totally wired and texting with Kim and laughing so hard and then I think...


Oh. My. God. How did he get my name? Did he take my last name off my credit card? Didn't I pay with cash? Did he ask the concierge? Did he steal my records??? Did I tell him? I don't think I told him. What does he think is going to happen with this linkedin message? And, why do boys link me in?? This is the SECOND one! Which isn't a lot of people, but in the world of romance - I think two linkedins is a lot. I mean... how many do you have? None. Exactly. How do these people find me?? What man thinks linkedin is a way to get with a girl? I mean, really, can one of you reading explain that to me?


I obviously confirmed the linkedin. This can only be good for my self esteem. Mom, if you're reading, don't worry - this is only for blogging purposes.


Which, also reminds me - Remember the crazy Jesus Marine? Well, he texted me thousands of times. And I ignored. And ignored. And ignored more and more. But he kept texting and texting. At the time, G-Lo was my counsel and he said I was able to ask Jesus Marine to stop texting. The exchange was:


JM: Dude! Come eat at my restaurant! Come get some pho! It's off the tollway!
Me: Hi, can you please stop texting me. I am not interested. Sorry.
JM: Wow. You're rude. I'm glad I'm not pursuing a relationship with you.


Thank God that's over with. 

February was a bad month...

February was a bad month...

For blogging. Not for me!! I've been having a great time. I'm so busy I can't even talk about myself! But don't worry, I've rearranged my priorities, and I'm back. Promise!

A few things have been going on. And, during my hiatus I seemed to have even been able to scrounge up follower 58!? The Babysitter!!?? How mysterious.... reveal yourself in comments so I can really talk you up in my next post!

Alright, let's go.... HP is in bad shape. His cord has exposed wires and my attempt to fix it with scotch tape has held up well for a few months, but, well, now it's not holding up so well. To the point that a charge was no longer possible. I had to get a new cord, which meant I had to remember to go to the Best Buy, which, I didn't do. And even when I was over there (there = near the Best Buy) I forgot. Major delay.

I've also had so many visitors lately! Well, not SO many, but plenty! We had the final weekend with Ashley - did I blog about that? I think I did. And then a new weekend with Leigh. The weekend with Leigh was a total delight and perfectly amazing! Well, almost. See, Leigh was supposed to arrive at a particular time, but her flight was 30 minutes early. So when she called me she said "I'm here!" and I said "Oh great! I'm on my way!" which was a total lie and I then had to make up time since I was not on my way.

I had a special treat waiting for her - sweet potato chips. Except, I had enough sweet potato chips for her and the rest of the apartment complex. See, I had mentioned said SPCs to her and she said "Oh that sounds good" and I did the so romantic thing of going to the restaurant to get some for us to snack on. The restauarnt said "how many do you want?" And my choices were for 1-2, 3-5, or 8-10. I assume 8-10 is probably a bag of Tostito's size and I think for a full weekend this will be the perfect amount. I am charged $7 for the bag of chips and two homemade salsas - which, I believe is totally acceptable. I'm waiting, waiting, waiting and the waitress comes out with the BIGGEST BAG of chips I have EVER seen. And I'm thinking "Holy cow, what on earth will I do with all these SPCs?!". The answer is obvious: Pretend that I knew exactly what I was getting and take them like this is normal for two people. I still have 2 full Ziploc bags of SPCs (if anyone else is thinking of visiting...). Anyway, the rest of our weekend, post SPCs was glorious with lounging, eating, drinking, eating, wining, shopping, brunching, eating, shopping and just in general moseying. We also went to a Comedy Club which Leigh hated (just ask her, she'll tell you). And, the weekend was a total success! It is also the start of the Megan/Leigh/McCowan book club which started unoffically over a brunch disaster and officially over a gmail chain. Are you jealous? You should be. I'll keep you posted and you can all pretent to play along - you know, like Oprah's book club, only this one is more important and has less free stuff.

Since then my life was all work! Work has been SO BUSY! I mean, non stop. Why am I so busy? Well, my manager was out of the office and we are expecting 45 new hires who needed to be screened, interviewed, slotted for a position and then setup. I am still in the middle of this process and it is a huge juggling act trying to remember who my new 45 are and what I'm going to do with them. And then on top of that I went home last weekend! Oh, and the 7:30 meeting I have is total crap!

 In the mix of all this work was fun for Granellie's 80th birthday celebration in Pittsburgh that my parent's hosted for my Dad's family. My dad is 1 of 7 and there are 22 grandchildren. There was a lot going on. And I was ultimate granchild and cousin with the surprise visit home. Most of the fun was getting ready for the party and driving my mom crazy. My mom was doing final touches not on the first floor and each of us (children) took turns going "THEY'RE HERE!" "Just kidding". This does not get old, even after the third time.

Dinner was a great time, lots of story telling and trying to determine who was the worst. Lots of aunts said they were angels, a few confessed that they were just never caught and then, of course, the four brothers were bad and are surprisingly still alive despite bee attacks, ax in the shin, dart in the nose and running through a glass door. Sounds like Granellie had her hands full!

I don't know who brought out the vodka whipped cream, but it made an appearance after dinner and cake. (Cake and presents was not a disaster, but there was a minor fire in the dining room when the wrapping paper got to close to the candles. Brother Adam saved the day by crushing the fire in his bare hands and managing to not set anything else on fire!) So, the whipped cream came out and the Miller kids already knew that this is disgusting but decided to keep it to ourselves and let cousin Ryan (who is a big guy and a definite drinker) take a try at it. His face was priceless and I the only thing I remember him saying was "UH! THIS IS DISGUSTING! UH!" but that of course leads into "Hey, Kelly, try this! It's good!" and then more "UH! YUK!" and so one down the line of cousins! Well, everyone is trying the whipped cream and then Granellie (who is celebrating her 80TH!!!) comes in and we're like "Yea! Granellie! Try it!" She took two shots - I hope I'm that rocking at 80! Working with the fam to see if there is a video of this we can post, asap! And, if you're looking to spice up your next 80th birthday party, you can get vodka whipped cream in Ohio (yes, we had to import it)!

After the birthday, there was more work and then I had to recruit for work at UNC. UNC is my least favorite school to recruit at... well, actually, I don't really like any of them. There are never any cute boys so I consider the entire thing a bust. But, I got to go with Kim and we haven't seen each other since September of 2010! Ah! We had a great time chatting and laughing. We had dinner with our Program Director and then separated ways. And changed into jeans and went back downstairs to get recommendations from the concierge on where to go if we wanted to pretend we were undergrads. The entire campus was DEAD but we still went out and got $2 beers and watched some terrible karaoke and had a great time pretending we were 21! Kim might have had too great of a time because she was definitely yakking the next day. Not once. Not twice. Multiple times. Program director was like "Oh wow, so sad, was it the ribs?" and Kim and I were like "Oh yea, definitely the RIBS". Seriously. Ribs? Kim had to remove herself from an interview to go yak! She is the worst undergrad ever!!! But then we giggled because we couldn't figure out what kind of illness the PD thought she had - all he knew was she took many trips to the bathroom. More laughing ensued.

Since I was on the east coast I took a quick trip up to Baltimore to surprise the girls! They were reunioning and I didn't think I could go but then magic and I could go! But, I didn't tell any of them! Roommate LinDive of Mich assisted with my arrival on Wednesday evening and Michelle was totally shocked! It was so fun! We chat chat chatted and then I worked from her apartment for two days and then we celebrated the times in the evenings! On Thursday we went to the Best of Baltimore party with brother Jay and friend Jim. Friend Jim is so flamboyant, the word flamboyant does him no justice. He loved taking secret shots and we pretended we were tourists (which, technically I was) in the museum and he had dance moves that would put Jarrod to shame, he thinks Lady Gaga is prophetic and he also capped off the night by reciting every single word of a Ke$ha song with no music, but with dance moves. It was... in a word.. amazing.

Friday after work I got to do happy hour in the apartment with Michelle's roommate LinDive, friend Alice, Michelle's boyfriend Eric and my ex-boyfriend Jono (see previous blog posting from whenever I posted it).  Jono and I had one more break up before the night even began - you know, I had to establish the upper hand quickly since we've had such the rocky road... but, we did have a great night not dating.The times in general were great in the Federal Hill (except I hated the chill in the air). Except when I met a liar who said he was from Pittsburgh but he was from New Castle and he was being a total jackwipe and he knew it so he bought me a shot. What shot did he buy me? Crown Royal. Disgusting. BUT! I had an audience for the shot so I had to pretend like "Wow, I'm so tough and amazing and this tastes so great" and I didn't even chase it. But, uh, I could feel that shot the next morning. The last time I had Crown was with friend Lee who only drinks Crown (which is so weird because she is this tiny Chinese who just seems like she would love pina coladas but that is not the case because she loves her shots of Crown and getting low on the dance floor), anyway, last time I had Crown I had hang over of the century and I'll go ahead and confirm now that I'll never have that again.

Saturday morning the Crown did not sit well and despite Alice and Michelle's urging to try the vom, I was only successful at the dry heave. I know you wanted that detail. Showering really turned me back into a normal human (Alice confirmed I was a 10 on Friday night and a 0 on Saturday morning) and me and Mich prepared to surprise the rest of the girls that were coming in. See... They were celebrating Leigh/Lisa's 25th birthday weekend, but I was not supposed to be there because I was so busy! So, Michelle went to let them in and I hid in the closet until it was time for the surprise...

I hid in that damn closet for THIRTY minutes. THIRTY. That is a long time to 1) stand in one place 2) stand in one, small place and 3) not talk. I love talking. And I could hear all of them talking. Michelle must have enjoyed my lockup because she encouraged the talking. No rush to move them along. Natalie was allowed to straighten her hair. Everyone took multiple bathroom trips. Everyone wanted a glass of water. Michelle was talking about her week at work. I mean, I'm listening in the room going: COME ON ALREADY! Finally, Michelle put the plan in action. She got all the girls on the couch for a group photo with the timer, except, it was on video. And my que was when Michelle said "Smile!" that I would jump out and say "I want to be in the photo too!". The plan worked perfectly (all the attention was turned on my for a solid thirty mintues) and the video still makes me crack up laughing!!


We had a great romantic 26 hours with the six of us. We walked to the Inner Harbor and stopped in the library to look for Brother Jay only to find a free book sale (actually, first two books free all additional books $0.50). We came away with 19 books and then scoped all over the Harbor with the books. We also enjoyed three pitchers of sangria with tapas for lunch and had a great walk home. We were totally pooped so we napped all over the apartment for an hour (or two) and then we got up and got ready for the evening! We scoped MORE and I did a perfect skinny arm picture (Nan, you would be so proud!) and then we went out for dinner and drinks and dancing!

The weekend was so much fun and it was such a grown up girls weekend. While, we totally raged, no one was out of control or embarrassing ... Is 25 the year of the adults!!?? Gosh, I hope not - although, I wouldn't trade the weekend for a thing!!

Next thing we knew we were parting ways after a "Texas" bbq lunch (which, was not excellent and I feel I can say that since I live in Texas) and it was time for my flight back to Dallas. Apparently Michelle's passenger seatbelt doesn't work so that did worry me for my safety, but Rooms got me there in one piece. No flight delays. No issues. Smooth sailing!

And now, here I am, on Monday evening, all caught up with the blog and enjoying the Bachelor. Could anything else be better with my life right now?

YES. If I was on the Bachelor. More on my master plan later...

Oh! PS: I'm moving into the city of Dallas at the end of the month!! More to come :)