7/31/2011

@Twitter

I was going to write this post only about Twitter because I'm going to start using my account. I got the Twitter account way way long ago (I think at Blue/White game where we talked a lot about Smerrit's weenus), but haven't used it. I have a hard time learning new things. The one thing that really confused me was the use of the #, which they (tweeters) call a "hashtag" but I call a pound sign.

This is annoying to me because I first can't get past hash versus pound and then I'm really not sure when you # something. Can I say "#salt"? Is that me referencing salt or telling someone to piss off? I don't know.

And then there is Google+. I can't figure out how to find my friends. The tricky one was Roommate Michelle - there are a lot of MR's out there and I just wasn't sure how I knew I was picking the right one. It was very overwhelming and I think I will only learn one new thing this week: Twitter. God. Why is all of this internet crap so complicated??

Anyway, this got me to thinking about Facebook which is not so complicated but part of "all of this internet crap".  I am on a defriending spree like CRAZY! Its occured to me that I don't know who some of these people are that are polluting my wall with stupid links and youtube videos and farmville updates. Here are my rules of defriending:

1) If you have ever posted a Farmville update, you are defriended.  (The only exception is Brother Adam, but only because we are related by blood.)

2) If you have a group profile photo and I'm not sure which one in the group you are, you are defriended.

3) If I don't remember where I met you, it probably means I haven't reseen you and, you are defriended.

4) If you are someone I didn't even like to begin with, you are defriended.

I think those are pretty simple guidelines to defriending. And now that I'm loving the defriending, I guess I have to understand being defriened.

I know of two people that have defriended me: Roommate Idiot Alex and Allie Gabriel. Allie Gabriel, fine - I probably wouldn't have noticed except someone told me she was engaged or something and I wanted to investigate. And couldn't. She just posted about running anyway, so that's ok. And then there is Roommate Idiot Alex. I was really upset thinking: WHO DOES ROOMMATE IDIOT ALEX THINK HE IS DEFRIENDING ME? I AM INTERESTING ON FACEBOOK! But, you know what, he wasn't interesting in person or on Facebook. Since we obviously don't have the same interests (me) the friendship virtually or in person probably didn't have a future. So, that one is ok too.

When people I defriend eventually figure it out (and they will, because I am interesting on Facebook and they will look for me... eventually.)- I hope they think "Oh, ok".

Although, I wouldn't mind if they cried a little bit first.

Oh,  but do whatever you do on Twitter to me: @abitcattywampus

PS: This is a really funny video about a hungry dog that makes me laugh. A lot.

7/22/2011

The Best Belated Birthday Present... Ever.

Now, before I go any further, I want all of my followers to know that prior to my birthday I loved you all the same. But, something has changed. It has rocked my heart and I now have a top three followers. That delivered the best, laugh-out-loud, totally unexpected, completely unbelievable, belated birthday present I could ever ask for and would never have expected to you.


I received this email July 9th:


Dear Megan,

As your most loyal followers nan, greg and I have personally made it our mission to aid you in getting to 100 followers. We have been waiting to show you our latest campaign until the most opportune time, and after hearing your whisper voice at work, we decided it was now. So I present to you: Abitflattywampus- The Adventures of Flat Megan. Enjoy!



--
Conor William Daly
The Pennsylvania State University



You're thinking one of three things right now:
1) Megan has a whisper voice?
2) Didn't Cone graduate already?
3) OMG What is abitflattywampus and how can I meet her!?!


My responses to those three things:


1) Yes, I have a whisper voice. It's called Presentation Megan's normal voice. And it's also a little bit of a confused voice. Imagine you're me and you're sitting at work and you get a call on your office line with nonstop laughing and you don't know who it is and then you realize it's Nan and Cone from Southeast Asia calling to wish you a happy birthday after calling the general intake number for my building? Whisper voice HAD to occur so I didn't draw attention to myself and way too much giggling for 2pm.


2) Yes, Conor did graduate from college. But apparently he still has not entered real life since he can take a "sabbatical" from "work" to go backpacking through Southeast Asia. It's not real life.


3) Right now. Enjoy!


Flatty hanging with a shih tzu puppy!

Flatty exploring the wild!

Flatty and Naked Nan!

Flatty in evening wear for a great tuna dinner!

Just horsing around with a tiger!

Wore him out! Sleepy tiger!

So now you are thinking a LOT of things. I've pulled together a general FAQ for your reading pleasure:

Q: Abitflattywampus is AMAZING!
A: That wasn't a question, but, yes, you are right.

Q: Where did Flatty get such an amazing bod?
A: Flatty eats a lot of protein and lifts weights. She plays with tigers.

Q: Are... um... have.. has.. did she get a boob job?
A: Flatty has no comment.

Q: How did Flatty get to Asia?
A: In a carry-on bag, stored in an overhead compartment.

Q: Why isn't Nan wearing any clothes?
A: Nan is so wild and she does what she wants.

Q: I saw the swimsuit and evening wear - are there more outfit changes?
A: Flatty doesn't work, she just travels the world, so any additional outfit changes would have to be gifted to her.

Q: How do I get my own Flatty to tour around town?
A: We'll need to pester GHyde to release the jpeg for all my followers viewing pleasures.

*On the "All My Followers" page, Greg, Conor & Nan will all receive a * next to their name to indicate favorite status.



7/18/2011

Experiencing the Jersey Shore

I'm skipping the middle of my vacation because it was just fun work stuff. I picked out every cute boy at the seminar and then found out all about all of their girlfriends. I can, with out fail, pick the most expensive thing in the store & always pick the cutest boy with a girlfriend. (Although, Mom Loveless says "girlfriends are replaceable").

Anyway, work work work and then me and Kim (and Dave - but who cares) get on the bus back to Philadelphia. From Connecticut. At rush hour. It was the worst bus drive of my life! First off, I had to sit next to a smelly Indian who probably has never brushed his teeth. I tried to be friendly and ask him about the book he was reading, but it was hard to listen and hold my breath. So I continued to talk to Kim (and Dave - but who cares) for the rest of the thousand hour bus drive.

Ok, the bus ride wasn't one thousand hours, but it was probably 6 or 7. That is a LONG bus ride after your day started with a work breakfast at 7:30AM. Kim and I grab Chipotle for dinner and head to her apartment to grab my stuff and then she takes to me friend Healy's house (PJH). I throw on a quick dress and me, PJH, Natalie and Jarrod go to some bar that is totally bumping for a Wednesday night and meet up with friends Chris, Liz, Kiley, Anne and Rosie. (I hope no one else was there, because I've forgotten them.) Rosie showed me an inappropriate picture of Chris Brown, Kiley sang Man in the Mirror with a mom we named Patty or Brenda or something and then we went to a drag show in a basement. The night was a lot of fun.

And then came Jersey. I got to ride in Car Jarrod/PJH. PJH provided directions to Jarrod which consisted of "turn there" or "go that way" which are very difficult directions to understand. I don't even know if we listened to music on the way down! We definitely did not have the windows down though. Oh, and we (I) ate ChexMix. Yes- I needed a snack AND a DC for the 90 minute drive.

Anyway, we get to SIC and all of a sudden everyone starts giving me the rules of the house. The rules were pretty obvious to any grown adult. But it was the way that they were delivered that scared me and made me a little nervous to meet Mrs. Healy. There were lots of rules but the most important rules were: DO NOT SIT ON THE WHITE COUCH and DO NOT LEAVE YOUR STUFF (a hair dryer was specifically mentioned) ALL OVER THE HOUSE! There were other rules but there were so many I forgot them. I kept my tornado of crap all in one corner and I didn't even look at the white couch and I didn't even bring a hair dryer so I don't know why they told me that.  But, all of the rules made me uncomfortable so I don't think Mrs thought I was as funny as you all know I am and I also just kept smiling at Mr without saying words. I imagine their report-out post my departure was "Why does that girl laugh weird and why does she always no-tooth smile me?". I don't know. I was awkward and I usually kill it with parents.

We spent so much time muploading (mobile uploading) and lounging and listening to music and sunning.  Muploading covered all of the bases, so I'd like to put the vacation in picture format.

Sunning.

Eating.

Lounging.

Attractives.

Cupcaking.

Mustaches.

Cheesing.

More Lounging.

The vacation was totally phenomenal. I think the SIC humans will want to know where we did all of our cupcaking (besides the beach, obviously) and I'm not really sure since I was a follower not a leader. I'll give it my best shot: We went to La Costa sometimes and sat outside but there were a lot of baby lifeguards there and I was really having an issue wiht my age with all these underagers around. And when we were inside it was such sensory overload with all of the guido fabulousness that I think I've blacked it out just because.  We also went to this great two floor bar where the top floor was a really weird, shady attic with a homemade grandpa bar and the bottom was old people central jamming out to live music (which was obviously where the TIMES! were). I couldn't get into the Springfield because they didn't like my Texas temporary ID with PA license backup - I guess they have a lot of 25 year olds sneaking into their FABULOUS (my ass) establishment. And then there was OD and Dead Dog. I don't know which one is which but the one with carpet we went to on Friday and the other one we went to on Saturday.

Friday. Oh, Friday. Natalie picked us up, we all jammed into her car and went home and went to sleep. And then we woke up and went to the beach. And ate. And had the times. And it was fabulous. And then I remembered I hadn't seen my phone in a while. That's ok, because I didn't need to talk to anyone. But it was bad because I wanted to mupload. We look all over for the phone, no where to be found, and to be honest, I don't care as much as maybe I should so we go out anyway sans phone. On Saturday we tear the place up looking for it - no where to be found. I am convinced that either Jarrod or Natalie stole it. I decide I will just activate old phone when I get back to Dallas and wait for one of the thieves to mysteriously mail it back to me. When I was going to sleep on Saturday night, I wake straight up and realize I left my keys in Philadelphia. GOD! Those are two pretty important things, in my mind.. I have to arrange a dropoff with Kim and Jarrod at the airport and leave SIC and the east coast sans phone.

I then spent 8 days sans phone because I knew Jarrod or Natalie had my phone.  It's not that hard to be without phone, I didn't actually need to call anyone days 1-6, I just wanted to check my email and putz around during the work day on my phone, if I'm being perfectly honest. On Day 7 I was done talking to people at work so I skyped Sister Allie and got to talk with my parents, Poppy and puppies Moses and Lincoln. But later that night I just couldn't take it anymore!! And Natalie and Jarrod both said they didn't have my phone. So I had no choice but to bid on a phone on eBay with 4 day delivery. And then when I woke up on Saturday roommate Erin was missing and I just said GOD I NEED TO ACTIVATE AN OLD PHONE! But I didn't have a charger, so I went out and bought a cheapy one. And then we are getting ready to go out and Jessica says "Yea! Wear the boots!" And I put the boots on and there is something in there that I think is a deck of cards but turns out to be my PHONE! I gasp. Drop to the floor. I am in SHOCK! And, a little irritated that I have to issue an apology to both Natalie and Jarrod. So there it is.

I now have three phones. I am still using the chocolate slider (which can hold a charge for FOUR days), waiting for the phone I ordered from eBay to even get here (thank God I didn't wait on that one) and considering going to the Verizon store to activate most hated of all smartphones: cracked htc droid. But only because it has GPS. And I can't get anywhere without my GPS.

7/10/2011

Seacrets!!!

I wore a terrible outfit to work on Thursday with a french braid in my hair. You cannot wear both a terrible outfit and a french braid at the same time because this makes me, you, anyone, all everyone's, look like a doofus. But, you know what, I didn't care because I am SO TAN!

Why am I SO TAN? Because I was tanning on vacation. I spent my vacation with a lot of people who are very concerned with how I will recap all adventures. Everyone wants their moment to shine and I think it's been decided that the best way to tell you what the hell has been going on with me is to break my vacation into three blogs.

Vacation Part 1: Seacrets

I pretty much stopped refering to Ocean City, MD as OCMD and refered to it only as Seacrets. Seacrets, for those of you poor souls that do not know, is Jamica USA in OCMD. I was so excited to go there to turn 25 with the most fabulous group of ladies. I mean really - I couldn't have built a better all star team! We had Michelle, Gio, Leigh, Kim, Allison, Ashley, LH, Natalie and Anne. Quite an attractive group, if you ask me!

The Thursday night I arrived LH and Natalie picked me up from the airport and showed me a surprise they had in the back seat: Cat Wine. It was not called "Cat Wine" but it had a picture of a feline on the front and that is the only reason LH and Natalie purchased the wine. See, both LH and Natalie have very careful plans to never get married, move in together, become spinsters and name a plethora of cats after all of their past loves. I'll tell you what, if I was aware of how serious they were when I wrote blog posting "TNCLFM", see the future you want not the future you'll get would be capstone issue of TNCLFM. (Wow, I'm full of such great knowledge).

Anyway, we return to find "hot snacks" setup by Lin (LH's roommate) of a tasty taquito and salsa and chips! We chatted and gossiped and Natalie and I planned LH's future marriage and made sure to get Lin and Kenny onboard. LH did not appreciate this because she thinks Lin loves all boys LH dates and we might scare away the future husband, but I think this is false and hope that Lin continues to encourage said potential future marriage.

There was also a point in time where Kenny told me I had big hands (WHICH I DON'T) and I'm not going to talk about it because he made fun of me a lot and you know how I'm really sensitive. Just thinking about it there are teardrops on my keyboard (sung to the tune of Taylor Swift's Teardrops on my Guitar). Kenny also brought out a big Halloween costume hand and made me wear it to drink my beverage. Rude, Kenny. RUDE!

Friday morning we woke up bright and early and called Michelle and Leigh at 9AM to tell them we were an hour away. They said great! We are 90 minutes away! And then we hung up and contiued to putz around the house and not leave until.... 10:30AM. We had to go pick up Anne and Gio and meet Ash and Kim and then LH has serious anxiety about parallel parking so we didn't really arrive at destination until... 11ish. This is when Michelle and Leigh call to tell us they are there, but we have to confess we have not yet left Philadelphia. I assume those two went to the beach and then we made Car Philadelphia (Natalie, LH, Anne and Gio) and Car Work (Me, Kim, and Ashley). CW was following CP until ring leader LH ran through a red light and then Ashley said go right when she meant go left and then next thing you know CW is in Center City Philadelphia and at least 25 minutes behind. Since we were behind we took a pit stop to a great wine store that was so very crowded for a Friday afternoon when people should be working. I can only assume this means there are many alcoholics in Delaware. What a terrible state. But what a great store.

CW also decided that while we were behind we would get some Taco Bell. That made the car ride great, but the Diet Pepsi made the car ride bad.

Just a shot or two. And,
bananas for hangover
 potassium.
Arrival at Seacrets home: Astoria 301 was lovely! The house we beautiful and perfect for all of our needs! The only terrible piece was the minimal amount of linens provided. I don't know if you know me or not, but I'm a tall human with a lot of hair. I cannot shower with ONE towel. That is ridiculous. I need a body towel and a hair towel. I was very upset at this and Leigh so kindly called Brad (owner of Astoria) and additional linens were brought over - THANK GOD I GOT TO HAVE A TWO TOWEL SHOWER!  After linen counting, we spent a great afternoon on the beach chatting and laughing and just being such a great beach group! We ordered pizza for dinner and went to take a nap but really turned into me and LH being weird and wanting to fill the tub with hot water and drink beer. Natalie joined the party and then the Bose joined the party and the next thing you know were giggling and singing in the jacuzzi tub and avoiding napping like the plague.
I was so excited to ring out 24 and ring in 25 at midnight, we (me) might have been too excited about the tequila shots. That's ok though - it was my birthday. Gio brought these great cups called "Sliz" and it's a martini glass shaped with a straw and it makes the chaser go with the shot. Natalie and I got to have the first ones since it was our birthday weekend! I have no idea where we went that night, but we had to take a bus there. The entire bus sang happy birthday to me and I was so happy! There was a small child on the bus though and apparently I thought this was irresponsible of the Mother. I mean - it was after midnight. Mother and Mother's Sister did not agree with me. I don't know that I made it out much longer than 1:30 until I begged someone to take me home. Ashley was so good and kind to me and we hailed a cab home. I decided to eat most of the crust off of the remaining pizza and happily went to bed in the birthday girl suite.

Waking up 25 was just perfect! All the girls were there and we all wake up and are chatting and giggling on the bed - just the same as in college. I am so proud to not have a hangover and we are SO excited for Seacrets. During the morning getting ready party, I realized that I was not able to locate my toothbrush the night before so I decided a morning look would be the best bet. The toothbrush does not show up. I have to again do a finger toothbrush because no one can drive and no drugstores are near us. This is me being very classy as a 25 year old.



Seacrets is just what I remembered it being and I was SO excited. We
made friends with our waitress and Mom and Dad party at the table over. LH and Natalie went out to find a raft for us and never came back so we knew that was good news. We took the purse bag containing smartphones and cameras out into the bay and placed them in the center of Natalie's raft. I said "How mad are we that we brought this bag and have to watch it now?" Meaning - uh so annoying that we have a bag. But what Natalie heard is "IF YOU GET THIS BAG WET YOU WILL RUIN ALL THE SMARTPHONES AND EVERYONE'S LIFE!!!!" This is not what I said or meant, but apparently after I split from raft 1 to raft 2, Natalie started drunk crying over the possible ruination of smartphones. It was a really funny drunk cry once we figured out what was wrong with her - but - for the rest of the weekend we didn't dare use the word "smartphone" around her again... after we learned a second and third time that just the word "smartphone" started new drunk tears. Anyway, Raft 2 was THE TIMES! We made some new friends and just floated and laughed and cheers-ed and continually re-applied SPF and it was WONDERFUL! The group some how got separated and sorted and the next thing I know, all I can find is Anne, Gio and Kim. Kim and I decide to leave, but can't find the rest of the party that had the bag with smartphones and shoes. Kim and I were maybe intoxicated so we decide to go home and eat. This means leaving the bay. Leaving the bar. And walking 3 blocks home. In only bikinis. No identification. No shoes. No coverups. Just walking down the street it beach acceptable clothes but not street acceptable clothes. So much giggling occurred! No accidental stepping on rocks either which was a plus!

By the time we get home I find my only remaining credit card not in the smartphone bag and we put on shoes and tshirts and go to Belly Busters where I ate an entire meatball hoagie and have never been happier in my entire life! Natalie appears, alone, and I don't know if we ever found out where she was, but we were happy to have a 3-way dinner. 3-way dinner turns into 10-way napping and resting in the condo and the final decision that no, we cannot make it back to Seacrets for the night time party. I'm ok with this and a handful of us get in the king bed and watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and it was a beautiful birthday night!!

Sunday Funday at the beach came and went too soon! We had a great day and then Kim, Ashley and I had to leave to go to a work conference. Even though we were sad to be leaving the group early, all was right in the world once we stopped to get Dairy Queen on the drive back to Philadelphia!

My friends are truly amazing.

7/05/2011

Meet Follower 64: Mom Daly

I'm back from vacation and ready to blog! The most overdue of blogs is Meet Follower 64: Mom Daly who beat her children in a landslide for favorite Daly position.


Mom's interview was completed via email. I guess it's a little bit of a cheat blog because Mom Daly did most (ok, ok, ALL) of the funny, witty banter. But - I just had to share the interview with you before it got lost in my inbox!


Please enjoy!!!

fromMegan Miller 
toMom Daly
dateMon, Jun 13, 2011 at 12:44 PM
subjectMeet My Followers: Interview

Mom Daly!

I don't know if you are aware or not, but in my blog I decided to pit
you, Conor and Nan against each other to basically determine a fan
favorite. You won by a landslide and my followers can't wait to Meet
you via blog! I'm thinking I can ask you a few questions and then send
you some follow ups...?? Is this ok!!?? Please feel free to ignore my
questions and tell the readers anything you think is important.

You've always helped me decide when not to go on dates, so any real
life, practical advice you want to share (as the only Mom follower) I
think could really enhance the quality of life for all followers.

So, without further ado, shall we begin?

1) Was there a startegy invovled with your landside win in the Meet My
Followers poll?
2) What is a day in the life of Mom Daly?
3) Can you share any embarrassing photos of the Daly children? If not
photos, can you share something that will embarass your children
(specifically Nan and Conor)?
4) What is your favorite memory of Gizmo, the prized shih tzu Daly family dog?
5) Is Austin the favorite child? I mean, why else would your email
address be his stats: name, date of birth??
6) Can you tell me a little bit about the love of Diet Coke in your family?
7) Please vividly describe your surroundings as you answer these
questions (Are you wearing slippers? Is it raining? Are you listening
to a mix CD of American Idol hits?)

Thanks for playing along!!!!!! :)


Megan




         fromMom Daly

toMegan Miller
dateWed, Jun 15, 2011 at 9:13 PM
subjectRe: Meet My Followers: Interview

hide details Jun 15
Megan
I am so honored!!! I feel a little pressure to give witty substantial answers! But here we go!


The strategy of my win was to act as if I didn't care and yet keep commenting on how funny and witty I thought the blog was!
A day in the life begins with having my clock set  exactly 9 ( my lucky number) minutes  fast so that when the alarm sounds for the first time I have to exercise my brain to calculate the real time. I have the alarm go off 2 more times before I actually get out of bed I have a very exercised brain at least for subtraction.  I walk to work while listening to my Pandora Adele station... very uplifting!  Work is mainly sitting at my desk in front of a computer for 8 hours but this summer my hobby is calling home and bugging Gerard about whether he is up and what he is going to accomplish that day! I do take a break from that on weekends.  When I get home I  begin looking on the computer at the bridal registry for the next wedding shower. I go to a lot of weddings !  Been on South Beach for a couple of months so dinner is usually chicken and .......that's it just chicken! I do stay up late watching reality TV and news shows. Must  be able to converse with the young and old the next day at work.  I have lots of funny pictures of Nan and Conor  but I would need them to show me how to send them. So I'll tell you a funny story for each of them.  When Nan was in Kindergarten she was very stubborn about what she would  wear. One day she put on her Halloween costume which was 1920's Flapper dress with multicolored knee socks and stood in front of the mirror saying "Matt will have stars in his eye when he sees me in this"! She hasn't changed much!  Conor  was known by everyone including his grandmother as KING CRANK for the first 4 years of his life! He cried and whined all day everyday! He was even mad when we woke him up when he was 3 on Christmas morning to tell him Santa had come! He came down still mad about an hour later! he has changed! My favorite Gizmo memory is when I took him to a different groomer at the seashore and brought the wrong dog back! yes this is a true story ! When I picked Gizmo up he was fluffy white and very calm! My explanation was a really good groomer who most probably sedated him! But when I walked in the door the kids knew right away!   I really liked Fluffy did we really need to give her back?????  When we got our first computer Austin was the only one who was old enough to use it so we used his stats and just kept it that way! Remember I need brain exercising to get out of bed so any change is a big deal!  Ah the diet coke addictions! I think I put it in their baby bottles and sang them a diet coke lullaby every night!  I am composing my answers alone on my sofa watching So You Think You Can Dance! In my work clothes!  it is 9:52  and Nan and Conor are on their way to Thailand, Gerard is out at a house party, and Liz is at a dinner with her new fellow residents!  thanks for allowing me to contribute to your blog Love to all
Sent from my iPad


fromMegan Miller mlm0625@gmail.com
toMom Daly
dateSat, Jun 18, 2011 at 8:41 PM
subjectRe: Meet My Followers: Interview



hide details Jun 18
MD! This is so perfect! As I was reading - I realized I forgot a key question...


Can you tell followers a bit about Myrtle and your favorite memory of
her? I think most of them have worn some of her flea market finds at
various college rendezvous.


And, in closing, can you you do a little PR for me and encourage those
people who read and don't follow to follow??!!


Have a very great night!!!!!


fromMarie Daly adaly919@gmail.com
toMom Daly
dateTue, Jun 28, 2011 at 9:55 PM
subjectRe: Meet My Followers: Interview





hide details Jun 28 (7 days ago)
Megan
Sorry it took so long I am in the process of packing to move!
Well I think my best memory is the day I met Myrtle I was looking for a "Mary Poppins " to watch my children but hired Myrtle who was more like Laverne of Laverne and Shirley! She even had a big "M" pin on which I'm sure she got at a flea market! Myrtle would also bring a huge trash bag full of day old bagels that she would get from the bagel shop. I think she would tell them she was taking them for charity and drop them off at my house each day. However there were about 100 in each bag and mostly stale blueberry or chocolate chip. Did she really think we would or could eat 100 bagels everyday???


Megan who is not following your  blog ???  Your blog is witty, cool and they better follow or I'll tell their mothers!!
Hope to see you soon! have a great summer!


Sent from my iPad